Oh boy

[mccutcheon]

Oh boy did the Mav and I burn it up last night. Somehow we lost 5 hours. The good way. Take that as you may. And then there were the girls, and the blow and the blow off the girls, and then somewhere-- way, way late there was more blow off girls boobs and butts. And to think we were just going out for one quick drink. I guess it helps to be a fat ass like me. And then after all that it really started to get fun as we broke into the tennis club and played naked mixed doubles and then off to the steam room. And these girls, what did they look like? Let's just say they curved when they should spread and they swooned when they should spoon and jiggled and giggled in all the right places. Plus very white teeth and pouty lips. That's a good thing. Just the way it should be. Then towards the end of it all, splashing in some tub, becoming human soup, she asked me, “What is your name?� And I replied, “Does it matter, what we just did came close to love, and if not love, then at least lust. And there is too much hate in this world.� As she kissed me upon my reply I stuck fingers up her ass and cunt. “I like that,� she said.' “Good,� I said, “It wouldn't feel as good for you if you didn't.� There really is too much hate in this world.

[mccutcheon]

I'm kinda starting to understand everything now; how it's no easier to be me than Jennifer Anniston. And that worries me. Like my friend telling me he wants to jump off a bridge, one of those ones way up, a big drop, the kind that will kill you, but he wants to add a twist, he wants, in all of his glory and desperation and theatrics, he wants to tie piano wire around his whole body and then as he falls and the wire draws taunt, Wham! Bam! he says he will flail into a thousand pieces Mamma! And like a run on sentence our lives keep going, just not with any good sentence structure. I'm gonna go have a drink and watch The Good Girl and then maybe after that Office Space. I'm not sure if I will watch more than one movie but I know for sure I will have more than one drink, and when it comes to the love scene with Donnie Dark I'll pause the DVD and masturbate and come as I look at Jen's breasts in the shadows. And when I come I'll feel guilty and not much at all the way I think Brad Pitt feels every day. But who knows, I just had his woman. And as he goes to work out and I go to cry we both live in this mad world.

[mccutcheon]

I can't keep my Mike White, Jack White, and Jack Black apart. All I know is that these boys are some of the best artists around. The world is lucky to have them.

[mccutcheon]

where is the 'tier buchon?'

[Maverick]

Drunken ramblings from a truly drunk man...and I mean that in the best sense of the word. At least MC is a happy drunk, I quote "At two drinks, I always want to go home, at four drinks I want two more, at six drinks I want to go home with two girls, and two more drinks."

ok, I added the last part, but come on, everyone who knows him, can't you picture him saying that? He's good to be drunk with because he keeps you from getting in barfights, and gets pretty girls to come sit down with you instead. It's like drinking with a Buddhist, if buddhists like Guinness, Yager shots and cocaine off of perky nipples.

[mccutcheon]

Ou est ou est ma tete?

[simon rex]

i just recently got back from visiting with a friend and his partner in vt and decided to pop in here as I know you missed me. that's probably a stretch but not near as much so as matty's incoherent drunken ramblings. and what's up with mr mav??? he's either a) a really good friend or b) like the little dog on on those old wb cartoons. you know - the one that runs around the big butch popular dog saying "yeah yeah butch, anything you want". basically a giant kiss ass who lavishes praise on the big dog to be in the in crowd or just to get girls. go for it I say. whatever works. I just hope you've cut that 80's hair.

btw matty, why do you persist in venting your drunken exploits for all to see? comes across as a bit attention seeking melodrama. perhaps since your 'novel' has not been published, you seek you praise and adoration here? I could be wrong. but I doubt it.

[Brett]

Get married while in Vermont?

[Myke115]

Who the hell would want to visit Vermont this time of year anyway. It's like cold as Antarctica up in the northeast.

Speaking of gay marriages ... Brett, didn't I read that Canada will be allowing them now as well?

myke

[sara]

Nin Andrews who is from Charlottesville, VA went to a Budhist retreat where she was told to feel respect for every body part -- a neighbor made her giggle by saying that she got stuck on the genitals and never made it to any other part of the body. She requested a poem entitled 'How the Pussy is Like a God' -- Nin refused her, but then heard a Christian preacher who was "belly aching about God and our Satanic New Age" -- he inspired her to write a pussy poem, proving that fanatical zealots have purpose in the world, and that purpose is providing a poet with the material to make fun.

Notes for a Sermon on the Mount

1. Pussies are not gods. They are created beings.
2. Unlike god, they do not always exist.
3. Dignified, majestic, intelligent, we must attend to them nonetheless.
4. Like all spiritual beings, pussies cannot be seen with the human eye at just any time of the day.
5. Pussies represent bothe the visible and the invisible, the sacred and the profane.
6. They appear to be nowhere and everywhere at once. To be personal and impersonal, human and divine.
7. In the occult story of Adam and Eve, God placed a sword-bearing angel at the entrance of the divine pussy to keep the unwary from ever returning.
8. Revelations describe them as being "robed in a cloud with a rainbow over thei heads."
9. Many times a pussy has taken on the form of an actual woman and is sometimes mistakenly thought to have a human spirit.
10. On must not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so, one might entertain a pussy without even knowing it.
11. Always remember: one must never pray to pussies. Or other golden heifers.
12. Nor should one ask God to send forth a pussy to help minister to one's soul.
13. A pussy must come of its own accord. For thus is the way of the pussy, and of the alpha and omega.

[martino]

sara: this sounds like straight outta the vaginal monologues

everybody else: " because he keeps you from getting in barfights" is yet another reason why i yearn for a night out with yous PA folks.

[Brett]

I believe they have for awhile, Myke. I don't see a problem with it. I still giggle when they show two men kissing on TV.

[sara]

in defense of the pussy poem otherwise known as the vaginal monologue part 2 -- I made a lot of typos -- sorry to Nin Andrews.

I don't know if I agree or not, Martino -- I don't know anything about the vaginal monologues. I liked the poet's explanation of how the poem came to be and thought it in some way fitting for a thread about the Buddhist Mc and Maverick and their adventures in pussyland, which I do agree makes a night out with paxacidus people sound good.

[Guest]

Dearest Simon,

good to see you safely back from Vermont. I think this board needs lively dissent. Others obviously disagree and have taken pains to say so. While we are at can I just add, for the benefit of some poor misguided souls, that Tommy Martyn and Simon Rex are not related in any way and have never knowingly met or communicated in any fashion.

I'm all for you not liking things posted here and saying so but those criticisms should have a truth to them. There is nothing more boring in the world than having to formulate a reply that has as the beginning point the phrase, "It was a joke." To his credit old Mc did not do this. The bit about comparing the difficulties of his

[Tommy Martyn]

that's what you get for typing with kids on your lap. my daughter would like to add the following h[fftr fhthdytrtftr56vrvn fcghynymj