Ahoy Mates!

Post by **mccutcheon** » Fri May 17, 2002 5:54 pm

I'm at Soapy's station in Ketcheken, Alaska the first town in Alaska. There are soapy's everywhere. The crew get off and invade, the internet being their best source of communication. Also all the pay phones are always taken within a ten mile area of where the ship docks. Ketcheken gets 12.5 feet of rain yearly- and I thought Seattle was bad. In July the average temp is 32- in Jan it's 53. Basiaclly crap weather all year round. Here i would not want to live, fuck nature and all that, yes it's surrounded by beautiful landsacape but beside trinket stores and tourist traps there doesn't seem to be abything of intrest. It lacks Juneau independent nature (Juneau is the only US capitol not accessable by land- you must either fly in or take a ship) and Skagway's actual nature. Tomorrow I'm going to be in Victoria but Maggie May is in Vancouver...Today I learned the crew are not allowed to have a drink with a passenger or interact. Rachael met this British guy who signed up for the Carabian cruise- bikinis and sunshine- and learned that he is doing the Alaska cruise- overweight old people- for the next five months. He wants to jump ship.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat May 18, 2002 6:58 am

so far no one has throw Rachael overboard. so the family is happy with that. at diner tonight we were talking about my writing and what a failure I am. I told my dad I hope I make it be fore he dies. he smiled poiltely, so i said , fuck that, I hope I make it before I die. Rachael wants to put a gag order on me. she said she would hire a lawyer and sew my ass for any slander that could hurt her carrer. i don't think she understands where I am on this web site. I told her I'm not seeling like David Sedaris or Peter Mayle, but if she sues my and I call the press-- sister sues brother writer-- it might be good publicity, the best thing that has happened to my carrer... I also saw the ships version of la cer, beautiful dancing, acrobatics, clasical music to techno and great custums. After I met a few of the dancers, we drank everything but beer. And the guy who was the main dancer in the ballet section explained to me how the ship moved so he dropped his partner on her head after he threw her into the air. he said she had a slight concusion but she should be okay, and after all they were married so she won't be too pissed. I said they won't be married for long if he keeps doing that. i heard the crack on the floor boards and it wasn't pretty. hi Amanda! see you sunday!

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat May 18, 2002 6:38 pm

don't worry about the spelling. whe you type as slow as I do and paying almost $1.00 a minute for a internet connection from sea you don't worry about the details- like correct spelling. Last night at diner I had too much wine to drink (something I love to do) and started taking cheap pot shots at my family. Only I thought it was funny....My mum is trying to take stock in her kids love lives: I'm 33, zac is 30, and Rachael is 28. We are not deformed or married. The neighbors are starting to talk. We are the cause of rumors. She wants to know when we are going to get married. She started with me. "What's you girlfriends name?" "Amanda." "Oh! I love Amanda, that was your great grandmothers name. What's her last name?" "Capobiancco." "What's that?" "That's her last name." "Oh," she said defeated. I think she has been watching the Sopranos...I am sharing a cabin with Zac. He comes home pissed out of his head every night. This morning I woke up around 4am to the sound of Zac actually pissing all over the room. The was stumbling around in a drunken stupor and never made it to the toilet. "What the hell are you doing!?" I screamed. "Playing Blackjack," he said. Once again the booze disoriented his fragil mind. I couldn't get back to sleep after that. As I was fuming I decided he isn't a better person than me...Air McCutcheon-- it's finally stopped raing and I'm back out on the basketball court with the 16 year old Kobe Bryant wannabes. we were paying half court three on three when i got the ball around the Free throw line. I went for a fade away jumper when the ship rocked and a gust of wind took me from behind. I went flying over all three of those smart ass kids and SLAM DUNK! The next thing I know I'm hanging from the rim holding on for dear life. "Aw man, shit that was cool!" the kids yelled. "Yeah," I said. Do it again the all screamed. "Naw," I said trying to play it cool and not let on how shooken up I was.

marky · Post by **marky** » Sun May 19, 2002 7:17 am

Well, Matt! I wondered where you were...
Good to hear you're basically having fun
up there. Thanks for sharing what's going on
in such good detail...makes it easy to
picture everything. I know what it's
like to be in the midst of a huge bunch
of over-60 tourists...when I visited
the Butchart Gardens in Victoria it was
that way...I found it rather irritating.