Wisonsin, land of the free and the fat, but not the fat free

Post by **mccutcheon** » Fri Jan 04, 2002 12:14 am

My mind is a buggy piece of crap! But I'm not complaining. I love life and all that. A psychic told me (at the fondue party, she was well into the sherry and I think she just liked holding my hand) that I would reach greatness with my goals if I work hard by the time I’m 35. That leaves me with three years of still working hard. Damnit! How much longer can I keep this pace up?

Anyone notice how the Bulletin Board postings are taking on a raw first draft hallucinatory version of a post-Pax Acidus ‘On the Road’ decrypted scripted orientated totem of debauchery traveling and merit? No? Me neither. But if I work on it there might be the brewing (more fire water!) of a third novel hidden deep in the editing process. And guess who gets the job? Yes, Sarah you do! I mean you are married, what else you got going on! I’ll call it, ‘Beautiful Sadness in the Realm of Love (with timetables and travel destinations)’ or something as wanky as that. It can’t be worse than, ‘A Staggering Work of Heartbreaking Genius blah blah blah…”

I just had lunch with my mum and she asked if I finished the Pizza Guy story (Burnt Roof of Mouth) and I told her I got sidetracked and now have two novels as works in progress- both of the same length- or rather as we say around the Bottle of Blue 'novels in shite regress') and that when I struggle I'll write a short story or a few poems just to get that feeling of accomplishment. She said it's okay to get sidetracked as long as you can see the end. I was gushing from motherly affection when she added, "Are the new poems anything I would want to read or are they still crap?"

Post by **mccutcheon** » Fri Jan 04, 2002 12:47 am

My New Year’s resolution, the first I’ve ever made, because like hey, I’m great just the way I am, is to stop writing gratuitous sex and drug stories. Yes this is a Pax Acidus exclusive! Though those of you out there shaking your heads, saying, “the gratuitous sex and drugs is the only thing I like!” don’t fret too much yet. Hopefully I’ll still get those things in, as of now and the way I feel inside I can’t see how I couldn’t. But…

The conversation I just had with my mum (after lunch we went to a gallery displaying her work) and a late night conversation in the first few hours of the brand New Year with this extremely fine woman from Spain (by way of Middleton Wisconsin- where the hell that is) confirmed it. I want to go for the subtle and sublime and leave out the ‘shock tactics’. It won’t be easy, mainly because I never thought I WAS WRITING ONLY GARTUITOUS SEX AND DRUG STORIES!~!!!

And one last thing----we all know how well New Year’s resolutions hold up. The new story I’m working on is called, ‘Smut n Eggs’. And goes a little like this….

Smut N Eggs (1st draft 15 minutes old, and it ain't much yet)
by McCutcheon

I’m picking up my friend at O’Hare airport in Chicago. I haven’t seen Tom since we got out of college a couple years ago. He emailed me and said let’s get together to do some damage. I was up for that. The last time Tom and I were together we almost died from too much damage. Selective amnesia will get the better of me again.

I park the car and go to wait at his gate. Due to heightened airport security this isn’t allowed. Normally I’m not much of an airport person. I never liked taking people to airports for that awkward goodbye and when I pick them up I usually just pull to the curb outside their terminal. After the terrorist attacks I can no long go in casual. Now I can’t get to the gate.

I’m a few minutes early. I sit at the bar and order a beer. It’s a tall pint and quite refreshing. I look at all the passengers coming and going in a hassle. They all seem preoccupied with destinations, time schedules, and boarding passes. Despite the distractions I bet every one of them deep down can’t help but wonder for their safety.

This is life during wartime in America. The bar I sit in is affiliated with a sports network and the myriad televisions hang over the bar broadcasting the latest in sports entertainment, one screen is showing CNN- a picture of bin Laden is up, The Marines are still trying to find him. An over weight father and son walk by stuffed into bright yellow puffed jackets.

“Boo, turn that disgrace off,” shouts the son.

“That’s right son,” the man says.

They continue down the concourse. I wonder why they would want to live in ignorance. CNN is only letting the public know that bin Laden is still on the run (or if not on the run, hidden somewhere safe and still) the way Fox Sports is letting us know that Michael Jordan isn’t the player he used to be.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Fri Jan 04, 2002 8:09 am

I tried to write something New Year’s Day but I couldn’t figure out how the Pax Acidus Bulletin Board of Bad behavior worked. This was what I tried to write

‘ I think I’m dead.’

Turns out I was just at Lynn’s apartment trying to come down with her scolding me for not sleeping and showing up 8 hours late the next day. Lynn and I have this relationship that feeds off friction and when I get too out of my mind I say some rude things and cross the line. As always I apologized and bought her a big Mac. (That’s a joke son lovely Lynn doesn’t eat meat.)

I just want to say thanks and hello to all the people I met in those 48 hours. I’ll write later. I should be back in Seattle by tonight.

P.S. I luv you Lynn!

Oh, turns out I was just on page two. Sarah, some say Ice. Some say fire water. But I know it's both!

Post by **Sloth** » Fri Jan 04, 2002 8:50 am

This BBS is a buggy piece of crap!

So far it costs me 50 bucks a month in extra fees due to sloppy programming. You can blame me, but I am blaming the Russians.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 9:21 pm

I'm back in Seattle! Whew, that was close.

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Tue Jan 08, 2002 11:56 pm

kyle
your underwear is lost in seattle somewhere. i can't remember where i left it last. my bad. i went to a packers game at goofys bar. drinking that early is rough on my constitution. how is chicago? moulin rouge party? i passed out in a closet at 10:30 and woke up the next year feeling great. hi shanta baby!

<mccutcheon> · Post by **<mccutcheon>** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 2:06 am

I was in a small bar in Wisconsin with Rosie and Jack Chiefton of all people, and Pax Acidus fame was there, and he never came up for a drink? I don't understand. And a few days later I had the famous fondue party with Rosie, Lynn, Zac, Kyle, Kate the Great, and Shanta, of Pax Acidus fame and Jack didn't come! Does this mean if I do get a Pax Acidus reunion together --say in the south somewhere no one will show? even is I'm buying? I don't understand all this. are we too removed to the computer to feel emotions alive and real? It's hard to type while on heroin, getting you dick sucked and chained to the bed post! oh wait! the bed post has a loose acorn, so maybe I can slip the hand cuffs over the post. I sure hope that this works. then I can be free! free of this drug and sex slave enclosure.

we I am not one to complain, so if I do have to be a drug induced sex slave at least I'm getting the number one drug and the sexy ass to lick!

Also I'm working on a screen play (along with two novels) and am hoping to resurect Winnona Ryders carrer the way Tarintino did for Travolta! She I can't spell. it's hard with one hand chained to the bed post and getting your dick sucked and heroin in your vains..... what is a vampire? what is the word prounounced 'Youth a mism" a word that meas something elde? maybe that is what this post is for, like the flu? you tell me. when you are sick of being sick and want to have sex and feel healthy!

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 2:18 am

he isn't on heroin he is on nyquil and glen ellen wine. he hasn't (written) or done anything in 3 days not even pick up the cum filled condoms. i enjoy his company when he is sleeping. i inroduced him to albert brooks and he loves him-modern romance and real life. he still gets my name wrong. i gave him a bloody lip, a scalded foot , a bruise on his forehead and two deep purple hickies. i want to cuff him tonight. maybe i will wax his testacles ( hair removal method).
i am the one who rated mccuthcheon 1 for loser!!!

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 2:18 am

he isn't on heroin he is on nyquil and glen ellen wine. he hasn't (written) or done anything in 3 days not even pick up the cum filled condoms. i enjoy his company when he is sleeping. i inroduced him to albert brooks and he loves him-modern romance and real life. he still gets my name wrong. i gave him a bloody lip, a scalded foot , a bruise on his forehead and two deep purple hickies. i want to cuff him tonight. maybe i will wax his testacles ( hair removal method).
i am the one who rated mccuthcheon 1 for loser!!!

<mccutcheon> · Post by **<mccutcheon>** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 3:06 am

I've totally lost it. I don't do well being sick. I'm a big baby and i get bored way too easy. So my nose runs and my chest heaves and I lay in Anne's big bed all sick and alone. I need stimulants, I need love, I need to need and have a dove. So I just got some wine even though i'M ABOUT TO DIE. I drink the wine and watch tv. tv is not for me. why do i do these things, why do I do so much it seems to me that it has to me once and a while, and so far away from expectation. and then this is the way it goes, like a big fire hose putting oput a fire of desire and the thing you see and you want to be can be one and the same. it can be the girl walking down the street it can be the reflection in the mirror, these are the same and then nyou can cum and it makes you feel good for the momentn and the moment later it can make you feel lonely, hollow, and if Catholic, maybe guilt. I don't know. I don't know the way it goes and either do you. But we still walk, crawl, swim in the same direction, have the same goals, we seek the future, a future we can't see that we walk, crawl swim towards. do we hAVE TO SEE IT All? I doubt it. we aRE DUMB. I'm as dumb and honest as I can be. it won't make me money but it will get me laid and maybe lead to creation. what is that. we don't understand it. creation is the bring something into to life. but unlike a baby in the mothers belly, we don't see thye progress of it's fruitation, we don't see the bloom, we only see it and then you have the over night success, which doesn't exist. And one we go, down the road, we walk crawl, swim,,, and do it again and again. for what. I need a drink of wine before I answer.

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 3:39 am

Yes, i was at that towny bar, it was rude of me to not come over and say hello, but couldn't you have done the same thing just as easily? Besides i extended an invitation to meet you somwhere else and you never said anything about it you "egotistical meat head asshole!" I cant stop laughing.

<mccutcheon> · Post by **<mccutcheon>** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 3:55 am

I don't know what you look like? besides, your problems are social.

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 6:47 am

jack
i am with you. i read that invitation and you are right he never got back to you. what a cocksucker!!! (i can see him telling me to put exclamation points after that word) i come home today and mc is loaded on every possible antihistimane and 2 bottles of wine. my house is across from the catholic all girl school.i have big windows where he and my roommate ,wil, jack off. i am going to become high profile. not to mention the house is for sale and a realtor can come in on any day.i am freshly divorced and just experimenting with as many crazy boyfriends as possible, but it is bringing me to a plateau of boredom.

<h.> · Post by **<h.>** » Thu Jan 24, 2002 8:23 am

ah, but rosie can make it all into some pretty music and sing it to me.

<mccutcheon> · Post by **<mccutcheon>** » Fri Jan 25, 2002 8:51 am

I get into more trouble sick in the middle of a weekday than most people do loaded on a Sat. Nite. All I can say is that I don't remember yesterday. What's your excuse? Time to do the Dirty Clothes.