Okay today is my second day in London. So far nothing interesting has happened but I need to write anyway because otherwise there won't be an introduction.
Due to my jetlag, my days are sleepy and my nights are wide awake and all I can do is read about the Taliban and Death Row Records magnate Suge Knight, the guy responsible for killing Notorious BIG and Tupac. What a dull book considering all the hubub. I mean, the guy has a fascinating topic but many chapters are just really boring. The best part is where Suge Knight holds Vanilla Ice upside down by his ankles outside a 15 story hotel window and then makes him sign away the royalties for his Ice Ice Baby record. Ha ha!
I am on Oxford Street at the Easy Everything Internet Cafe listening to Groovetech London Radio. They are playing Radiohead Paranoid Android. Normally Groovetech plays house and techno. Oh well.
I visited my school today it is really cool amd there is a pool in the basement. If you know anything about sloths you know they love to swim.
I keep getting love letters from this girl in Pheonix who likes my writing. She seems pretty cute and I think she wants to come shag me. Anything to take my mind off calling Olga is a good thing. I swore to myself I would not even call her. I can't go backwards. Must go foreward. Not even if I have to masturbate 100 times per day from horniness.
Well I'm off to download the latest news about the Taliban. I wonder how long America will be obsessed with blowing up a mountain range in Afghanistan. I think its hilarious than bin Laden was on the CIA payroll and was an ally of the USA only 20 years ago.
Republicans aren't very choosy about their friends.
Ciao.
London
-
mccutcheon
- New York Scribbler
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2000 8:01 am
- Location: NYC
- Contact:
London
Keep up the posts, man- I'm sure THEY will get you laid.
Did you get my emails on the Pax updates?
Did you get my emails on the Pax updates?
London
Wednesday September 19th.
Today is the Sloth's birthday. I'm 31 years young as they say in movies and rehab. I feel like a teenager. My flat is clean and my head is fuzzy from jetlag. Jetlag. That's when you read from 12:00 Am to 9:00 Am and then sleep for a few hours and awake to nightmares of your best mates dick in your ex's pussy.
Anyway, I am back at the Easy Everything Internet Cafe and despite the fact no one knows its my birthday I am having fun and shopping for myself. I bought a new LCD monitor for 375 pounds. Once you go flat you will never go back. The only problem is I am now broke and have only minimal beer and food money to keep me going. I have a savings account which I just transferred to my checking so I can go to Paris this weekend. What's the name of that hotel in the 17th Mc? You know the cheap one you are always ranting about?
If I had my druthers, I would stay in the Beat Hotel so I can masturbate in the same room as Allen Ginsberg and Billy Burroughs used to shoot heroin and suck each other off in. Wait as long as I'm dreaming let me change that to fucking a 16 year old virgin blond girl in the same hotel that Ginsberg used to fuck Gergory Corso in. Although the other scenario is more likely to occur.
I am still reading the Death Row Records book and lo and behold who is on the cover of NME but Suge Knight and he is out of jail and cracking homophobic jokes about Dr. Dre.
NME: Do you really think Dre is gay?
Knight: I don't want to fuck him to find out! Huh huh!
In that issue is also an interview with Coutney Love and she blames Kurt's death on the American anti-drug lobby. Top issue. Also they review the new Spiritualized album and give it a 9 out of 10 rating. Its fucking fantastic and I listen to it all the time while I lay in bed naked and wish I was alseep.
In fact I have carefully planned this day out to kill my jetlag once and for all. When I awoke at 1:30 PM I drank 4 Red Bulls and walked for four hours. Now I am drinking and plan to walk the 45 minutes home and drink more and make a pizza so I can pass out in true alchohol and carbohydrate bliss and kick this jetlag thing in the ass.
After that I'm off to find Innes.
look out world, here comes the Sloth.
Today is the Sloth's birthday. I'm 31 years young as they say in movies and rehab. I feel like a teenager. My flat is clean and my head is fuzzy from jetlag. Jetlag. That's when you read from 12:00 Am to 9:00 Am and then sleep for a few hours and awake to nightmares of your best mates dick in your ex's pussy.
Anyway, I am back at the Easy Everything Internet Cafe and despite the fact no one knows its my birthday I am having fun and shopping for myself. I bought a new LCD monitor for 375 pounds. Once you go flat you will never go back. The only problem is I am now broke and have only minimal beer and food money to keep me going. I have a savings account which I just transferred to my checking so I can go to Paris this weekend. What's the name of that hotel in the 17th Mc? You know the cheap one you are always ranting about?
If I had my druthers, I would stay in the Beat Hotel so I can masturbate in the same room as Allen Ginsberg and Billy Burroughs used to shoot heroin and suck each other off in. Wait as long as I'm dreaming let me change that to fucking a 16 year old virgin blond girl in the same hotel that Ginsberg used to fuck Gergory Corso in. Although the other scenario is more likely to occur.
I am still reading the Death Row Records book and lo and behold who is on the cover of NME but Suge Knight and he is out of jail and cracking homophobic jokes about Dr. Dre.
NME: Do you really think Dre is gay?
Knight: I don't want to fuck him to find out! Huh huh!
In that issue is also an interview with Coutney Love and she blames Kurt's death on the American anti-drug lobby. Top issue. Also they review the new Spiritualized album and give it a 9 out of 10 rating. Its fucking fantastic and I listen to it all the time while I lay in bed naked and wish I was alseep.
In fact I have carefully planned this day out to kill my jetlag once and for all. When I awoke at 1:30 PM I drank 4 Red Bulls and walked for four hours. Now I am drinking and plan to walk the 45 minutes home and drink more and make a pizza so I can pass out in true alchohol and carbohydrate bliss and kick this jetlag thing in the ass.
After that I'm off to find Innes.
look out world, here comes the Sloth.
-
mccutcheon
- New York Scribbler
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2000 8:01 am
- Location: NYC
- Contact:
London
Happy Birthday, mate.
London
My jetlag seems to skip to every other day. Its weird because I spend all day walking and reading and then when I sleep I can't remember if my last day was a dream or reality. Like one day I was walking past my school and I passed Filth McNasty and it was like two blocks from my school and then I stopped in to see if Innes was there and these guys jumped my and fucked me up the ass and and stole all my money.
But I figured out later it was Northwest Airlines that fucked me up the ass and stole all my money and that Filthy McNasty is about a kilometer away from my school and I will meet Innes there for a pint if he is still alive and in town and feels like it.
Well today in the NME (the only paper I read now) they had the reactions from the pop stars to the NYC bombing and Liam said he is never going to America again he is going to stay home and watch TV and finish his new shitty album before armageddon comes. Nothing anybody else said was any more poignant than that.
I was supposed to go out with my roommates last night which would be a good bit of social interaction that I need but they all cleared out while I was on the phone trying to get Northwest Airlines dick out of my asshole. Maybe I am overusing this metaphor and England is turning me queer. But maybe I am on to something. Death Rows first group was NWA (Nigga With Attitudes) and NWA is also the initials that Northwest Airlines uses all over its planes and promotional materials. So maybe now that Suge Knight is out of jail he has taken over Nortwest Airlines and charged my account the $440 that they were supposed to charge me last week but didn't? Since then I have already spent the money on speakers and dishes and stuff. Now I have negative money in my account.
Chargeback time.
But I figured out later it was Northwest Airlines that fucked me up the ass and stole all my money and that Filthy McNasty is about a kilometer away from my school and I will meet Innes there for a pint if he is still alive and in town and feels like it.
Well today in the NME (the only paper I read now) they had the reactions from the pop stars to the NYC bombing and Liam said he is never going to America again he is going to stay home and watch TV and finish his new shitty album before armageddon comes. Nothing anybody else said was any more poignant than that.
I was supposed to go out with my roommates last night which would be a good bit of social interaction that I need but they all cleared out while I was on the phone trying to get Northwest Airlines dick out of my asshole. Maybe I am overusing this metaphor and England is turning me queer. But maybe I am on to something. Death Rows first group was NWA (Nigga With Attitudes) and NWA is also the initials that Northwest Airlines uses all over its planes and promotional materials. So maybe now that Suge Knight is out of jail he has taken over Nortwest Airlines and charged my account the $440 that they were supposed to charge me last week but didn't? Since then I have already spent the money on speakers and dishes and stuff. Now I have negative money in my account.
Chargeback time.
London
Still in London. Last night I got my Internet connection hooked up in my room but I still can't post any new stuff to the site, as I need to further configure my ftp its so frustrating. And no porn and no MP3 downloads either. Now I have to buy beaver magazines and compact discs like the rest of the male population of the world. Fuck!
Last night at the insistence of McCutcheon I went down the pub to watch the Man U / Deportiva match. I thought Deportivo was Italian until the end when some Spanish folks clued me in.
I was hanging out with my Welsh roommate Bleid who once did an interview with Howard Marks for his school paper and shared a spliff with him.
Man U was winning one nil until the very end and then with two minutes left in regulation Deportivo scored and then scored again like 45 seconds later. What a shame. Fuck those Spanish cunts!
It was all good fun for me because of a little downer episode with this South African girl Zelda I met who shot me down when I asked her to dinner after we hung out all Saturday night until 6AM drinking. I called her to go out to a Cuban restaurant and she told me "No" presumable as in never and gave as an excuse that she has to work nights and that in the day she has to sort out her work papers.
So today I am up at 8AM and want to quit writing so I can sort out this ftp thing and get all the dj mixes up and working again.
Much love to the Spanish cunts that kicked England's arse. I think I can into this football stuff, especially the part where you hang around in pubs all evening drinking pints.
Last night at the insistence of McCutcheon I went down the pub to watch the Man U / Deportiva match. I thought Deportivo was Italian until the end when some Spanish folks clued me in.
I was hanging out with my Welsh roommate Bleid who once did an interview with Howard Marks for his school paper and shared a spliff with him.
Man U was winning one nil until the very end and then with two minutes left in regulation Deportivo scored and then scored again like 45 seconds later. What a shame. Fuck those Spanish cunts!
It was all good fun for me because of a little downer episode with this South African girl Zelda I met who shot me down when I asked her to dinner after we hung out all Saturday night until 6AM drinking. I called her to go out to a Cuban restaurant and she told me "No" presumable as in never and gave as an excuse that she has to work nights and that in the day she has to sort out her work papers.
So today I am up at 8AM and want to quit writing so I can sort out this ftp thing and get all the dj mixes up and working again.
Much love to the Spanish cunts that kicked England's arse. I think I can into this football stuff, especially the part where you hang around in pubs all evening drinking pints.
-
mccutcheon
- New York Scribbler
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2000 8:01 am
- Location: NYC
- Contact:
London
Tonight is Real Madrid. They are Italain too. Wank stain. You want Italy? Just ask a Jock who supports Celtic. They will sort out your Juventus for you. Though nothing against Italy, Alesondro supports Roma, who seem to still be celebrating coming top of their A league. This season they are not scoring goals. Just ask me Slothie, I will fill you in so people don't laugh out loud at you.
London
Okay its Friday but don't thank God.
I am working on my novel. I currently have no money. I know a lot of my friends think all I have to do is call my father and he sends me more, but actually he doesn't and money goes fast in this town. Gotta save it up to eat.
Zelda hasn't gotten the urge to call me either (surprise surprise). That leads my only friends in London as Bleid my Welsh roommate who is out of town and Olly, my ex, who I canot call due to pride and also I lost her number.
But its all good because the French wine is cheap over here and I can smoke in my room and work on my novel and my web sites even if I can't post anything new except these updates about the new issue of NME featuring none other than those Mancunian brothers Oasis.
At one point the interviewer reflects on Be Here Now and says that he tried listening to that one in the morining, in the evening, drunk, stoned, full, starving, in the car, etc but he couldn't understand it. Noel says "well you should have listened to it on 9 grams of coke because that's what we wrote it on."
Ha ha!
Then he said the album should have been called "Fuck it, that'll do."
And in case any of you are still reading this installment of the Sloth in London, the new Oasis album will be out in January and be "a cross between the Sex Pistols and the Beatles".
Even though Damon recently called Liam the best front man in rock, Liam has this to say about Damon...
"I've never seen a fooking gorilla with no hair! So he can fooking suck his own fooking cock and his mate in the band's cock. That cunt's going on about I haven't sung a decent tune in years, right? I think its quite ironic. At least I do sing tunes; what's that fooking nonsense that's on the radio 'ooh-de-fucky-boo', its like fooking three-year-old's music."
Tomorrow I am going down the street to check out the seedy neighborhood across from Old Street where the KLF have a new club and also another club called Aquarium with a swimming pool. I'll let you know.
I am working on my novel. I currently have no money. I know a lot of my friends think all I have to do is call my father and he sends me more, but actually he doesn't and money goes fast in this town. Gotta save it up to eat.
Zelda hasn't gotten the urge to call me either (surprise surprise). That leads my only friends in London as Bleid my Welsh roommate who is out of town and Olly, my ex, who I canot call due to pride and also I lost her number.
But its all good because the French wine is cheap over here and I can smoke in my room and work on my novel and my web sites even if I can't post anything new except these updates about the new issue of NME featuring none other than those Mancunian brothers Oasis.
At one point the interviewer reflects on Be Here Now and says that he tried listening to that one in the morining, in the evening, drunk, stoned, full, starving, in the car, etc but he couldn't understand it. Noel says "well you should have listened to it on 9 grams of coke because that's what we wrote it on."
Ha ha!
Then he said the album should have been called "Fuck it, that'll do."
And in case any of you are still reading this installment of the Sloth in London, the new Oasis album will be out in January and be "a cross between the Sex Pistols and the Beatles".
Even though Damon recently called Liam the best front man in rock, Liam has this to say about Damon...
"I've never seen a fooking gorilla with no hair! So he can fooking suck his own fooking cock and his mate in the band's cock. That cunt's going on about I haven't sung a decent tune in years, right? I think its quite ironic. At least I do sing tunes; what's that fooking nonsense that's on the radio 'ooh-de-fucky-boo', its like fooking three-year-old's music."
Tomorrow I am going down the street to check out the seedy neighborhood across from Old Street where the KLF have a new club and also another club called Aquarium with a swimming pool. I'll let you know.
-
<Londone with an e>
London
I am drunk and hanging with my euro deprived UK citizens. Having a good time. When the pubs close down we all head to the easyeverything.com cafe and get going loose. I was propositioned by a youngish whore totally innocent and pure. I declned, but if I'dhad more cash it would have been nice. You are all so cynical. I know what you're thinking but that was the most tempted i've been. Hot chicks everywhere. I gotta spill...
The Chemicals have a new album coming out. It shouldbe amazing. I want to hear it. You know. The music sounds better when its played next to you.
The Chemicals have a new album coming out. It shouldbe amazing. I want to hear it. You know. The music sounds better when its played next to you.