30

[Brett]

I'm going to be 30 this year. For the first time I realize that all the hopes and dreams I had as a kid won't happen. It's hard. If any of you are 30, could you tell me how you handled it? I just need a little help here.

[<sarah>]

What is it that you wanted to do? Are they things that you can do? I mean not things like I want to play in the NBA or I want to be a child prodigy -- you are definitely past those if you're starting at thirty, but within the realms of what's physically possible, what did you want to do?

[rabbit]

being as drunk as i am currenlty i think ill drink to bein 30. i hope i make it that long.. where did that blunt go?

[Brett]

I guess the same thing everyone wants. I always thought I'd make a difference some how. I just never thought I'd end up doing what I do. I guess I just started thinking that maybe time is running out. Every once in a while I think of cashing out, buying a boat in the Caribbean or South Pacific and running Dive tours. Is it a pipe dream or something I would really do? No idea. I don't know what I want to do, Sarah. I guess that's why I'm so confused.

[martino]

oh man, sometimes i wish i was 30 again but when i think of all the hangovers i had to endure since then...

for me it was easy: at 30, i had a newborn child in the apartment so i had to take care of the not inconsequential business of making money. everything else worked out as it is written in the Good Book: seven lean years, and then seven fat ones.

you asked for something like advice, so something like advice is what you get. listen to me:

- wash your ass every day; brush your breath twice daily. scrub your kitchen floor when you feel depressed
- don't watch tv. life = time and tv is the biggest imaginable waste of time
- learn to cook
- do your best to give your partner an orgasm at least once a week. this includes learning to seduce him or her
- go someplace you have never been before at least once a year
- read proust. if this is too boring then read henry miller. then read proust

this oughta keep you occupied until you are are about 40. that is when the shit really hits the fan!


.
.
(n.b. these pearls of wisdom are not all by me. thanks to mac, the dalai lama, afrika bambaata and jp donleavy for various elements)

[mccutcheon]

On April 5th this year I&#8217;ll turn thirty-three. I remember when I turned twenty-five and had a mid-twenties break down. These last few years have been very tough with the loss of life of loved ones, but inside I feel stronger and go forth in my own life with much more purpose. Despite what is always written, that we are spoiled rich kids doing the site on a trust fund- well, it&#8217;s just fraudulent. I have a full time job, I live close to abject poverty, but I follow my dreams. I want to be a writer. So I give up monetary comforts. I don&#8217;t own a car. My bike was stolen (it was actually the Sloth&#8217;s bike- but don&#8217;t tell him, he&#8217;ll get upset). But I choose this life. It&#8217;s a decision I made and have had to reevaluate from year to year, month to month, day to day. A few years ago I definitely saw the division of wealth. People were making mega bucks with Microsoft and other e business. I&#8217;m where I am at the moment; making a short film, finishing a novel. It&#8217;s easy to say you want to live an artistic lifestyle when you are twenty-two, let&#8217;s see what happens at thirty-three. I have resolved to leave behind some of my own creations to this world. The fine line between loser and success is if you get paid for the work. I want to get paid. And the years are running out. I hope to stick with it. Single, no kids, in debt at thirty-three, would I want it any other way? I wish I could be established as early as Dylan-he had an album out by age 18, or prolific as Stevie King- he has written two billion books.

I have to do it on my time and pace.

All I can say Brett is you should do the same.

[rabbit]

Im encouraged to write more and more just cos you lasted so long mc. It makes me feel alot better.

[mccutcheon]

thanks.

[ROSEMARY]

sinking my teeth into work, making my business fly, has saved my mind .
i was a ballet dancer retired at 24. fucking sick of puking girls and caddy ballet partners. sick of making no money and living in squalor.
what i traded this for at 30 was a lot of deaths,a divorce ,late nights, drugs and painting
and a business.

it all works itself out.

[Brett]

Thanks for all the advice. It's certainly a tumultuous time right now. Even the Celexa has stopped working, although it could be all the Captain Morgans I've been drinking. I understand the silver spoon, Mc. I also know it's real hard to make your way in life when everyone expects things from you based on your parents success. My brother is a writer in Halifax. He catches alot of flak for not getting on with the life that he never wanted. I guess there just comes a time when we have to say Fuck it. It's amazing how hard following dreams can really be. Anybody have any dreams they'd like to share?

[bicycleprince]

McC, I love reading your stuff. This site is da bomb baby!
I have been too chicken or something to write fiction, but I write the best introduction to chemistry lab reports.
I am a bicycle advocate. I don't know yet how to make money doing such, but I think people donate good money to riders of transcontinental trips.
Hold Your Head up High (she said the answer was to become a dancer)
DEATH TO BICYCLE THIEVES

[mccutcheon]

Thanks, thanks thanks. Your words are power fuel for me to write more of my own. I get more out of this site than I give. And I've given the most words. Thanks. Cheers. Prost.

[<sarah>]

Dive tours definitely sound good, and so does cashing out. I don't know what I want to do either, and I'll be thirty sooner than later -- in fact I'll be 27 one day before MC is 32 -- yikes. I know I have some pieces of something that's starting to come into a plan: a bike (motorcycle, and it really shouldn't be a Harley-- all apologies to my sweetheart, but they are pieces of shit on the long road), a good hubby, a little pot, and camping gear . . . books; they are hard to carry on a bike, so maybe I'll rotate them by trading at used book stores, jeans, jeans, jeans, and some good sturdy boots. Also perfume -- because bikes get stinky and I like the sweet stuff, and definitely the ole Captain Morgans. That's more for the hubby, he likes Parrot Bay -- me, I'll take Cuervo.

Basically the plan involves putting the washed brain on spin and seeing what comes out, so that we can get away from dreams that aren't ours. And meeting people who tell stories; that's in there too. (the last sentence would be my two cents worth of what you should do)

[martino]

so you want to be a writer, mac? who the hell gave you that idea?

you *are* a writer, dammit. you are a writer because you write, and the fact that you make no money off it does not change what you are. you are not only a writer, but a mighty fine one too.

don't be worrying too much about not yet being published. you will get published and you will be read. i don't know how long it will take - perhaps 9 months, perhaps 2 years, maybe 10 or 20 years, who knows? - but i am sure you will see your name in print. and the sales statements will be fine, too.

you won't be bitter either, and your writing will still have that sincere quality which all these people here who believe in you recognize.

you'll be on the reading circuit, you'll do the talk shows. if you are not too old by then you'll have groupies too. and when that day comes, you'll say: that guy balsamico was right.

[Sloth]

My 800 dollar 1992 mountain Fisher Montare mountain bike was stolen?

Arrgghhhhh!!!

The hororr. The horror.