Official announcement

[Tommy Martyn]

Last night, Tommy Martyn was pleasantly surprised to find his dick welcomed into a mouth and a vagina. General levels of satisfaction were expressed and a consensus reached about repeating the endeavour. Apparently, the planet is spinning out of control and the end times are upon us. I wish I could get worked up about it right now.

[mccutcheon]

go on my son!

[Maverick]

I knew it wouldn't take long for a smooth talking english devil such as yourself. enjoy!

[Sloth]

Tommy we are an aging bunch. How about a story about sex after divorce?

I will probably never know about it, so I wanna hear about it.

[Brett]

I had the same experience last night, except the oral. I'm still married so that just doesn't happen.

[mccutcheon]

It takes Tommy getting a blow job to bring Brett out of the woodwork.

Hiya Brett!

[Brett]

It's just nice to know someone is getting one. I've been real busy, two sons are crazy, freaking savages. Trying to get ready for the 3 year olds first year of school and out fit him for the upcoming hockey season. Get your kids to play soccer, hockey is fucking expensive.

[Tommy Martyn]

I've been going to this gym for about two years now. Every weekday at the same time. I've got to be on nodding terms with the daytime morning crowd, which is the athleto mums and old codgers. I hardly ever spoke to someone. If you know me, you will know that I'm all business at the gym. Eventually though, you make an accuaintance or two.

About three or four months ago, I was sat on a rowing machine and one of the nodding acquaintances plopped down next to me. It would have been rude not to say hello. At some point in the conversation she asked me if I knew a part of town called Mariemont. Indeed I did, I replied. I went on to tell her of the day I got married in Mariemont church. She told me that she got married in upstate New York at Cornell and then paused for a moment and added, "And yesterday my husband told me he wants a divorce." After that, we used to update each other on the various dreary details of the mechanics of seperation. Some days she would be doing stretches and high kicks while she was talking to me. (She used to be a dance teacher) I said it was like having a therapist - who was in the Rockettes.

Shortly before I left for London she passed me a note reading "Dr Rockette. Therapy with a twist or therapy with a tryst." Underneath was her phone number. I took the note and stuck it in my gym bag. After the three weeks at home, I took off almost immediately for another vacation in Michigan. Although I was aware that I hadn't had sex for a long time, I wasn't feeling starved. The whole business of meeting someone and explaining my current living arrangements seemed like such a big drag to endure, just to get a shag. When I got my arse down the gym again, Dr Rockette was very pleased to see me. I stood next to her as she did bicep curls. Although she was very slim she was very powerful. This I liked. She was wearing a bra top and lycra shorts. She moved onto the crunch board and I pretended I was busy with my weights as I watched the hard muscles in her stomach contracting. Then she bent over at the waist and lifted her arms out to her sides. The sight of her grunting away bent over with her bum sticking out sealed the deal.

I called her up that night and asked her out for a date. She was going to be out of town for a while on business and I had to arrange a babysitter. As chance would have it we arranged to meet on her birthday.

When she appeared at my door it reminded me of when I worked in a big bakery. I would spend the day with women in shapeless coveralls with their hair pulled back and no make up. Then I would run into them down the pub and would be shocked to see them at their best. It was a similar sort of thing.

We went out for a quiet meal. Everywhere was quiet, it was a Tuesday. There wasn't any awkward conversation because we already knew each other. About halfway through the meal she asked me what I had wanted from tonight's date - and if events had met expectations. I replied that all I was hoping for was, that if we met again tomorrow, it would be without awkwardness or regret. All the time I was thinking, I want to eat your knickers and spray spunk all over your tonsils. Over dessert she said, " I have a gift for you." She promptly reached into her handbag and pulled out a condom. I took this as a sign that I was on for a shag.

Erotica is McC's thing. I can't dress this thing up. We lay on my couch and I undid her jeans and was thrilled to see her thong knickers. We poured ourselves a glass of wine and went to bed. When you invest a lot time in a courtship you are probably inclined not to be too perverse or forward in bed because you don't want to offend and lose the friendship that you have built up. I knew that scheduling nights like this will be difficult. I decided that I was going to do all the things I liked and if she wasn't up for it, well too bad for me.

I needn't have worried she like to suck my cock. She put her legs up so her feet were pressed against the headboard behind her head. (Got to love all those years of dance training) Best of all she let me spray her with body oil and wrestle. She was very strong, but I won. To the victor the spoils. I sat astride her face and bashed her nose with my dick while she had to say, "Lickety dickety yummitty cum, anywhere but up the bum."

Then we cuddled for a couple of hours and told dirty jokes and laughed about the fact that we were way too old for this shit. We said thank you each other and (I think) really meant it. About 3:30 she got in her car and drove off.

[mccutcheon]

Sounds like you undressed that thing. Good for you.

But what the fuck is? "Lickety dickety yummitty cum, anywhere but up the bum."

[marky]

Good for you, Tommy. Definitely a more exciting life than I'll ever live, unless I was asked onto the set of Olivia Newton-John's video for the early 80's single "Physical".

[Maverick]

I think McCutcheon's erotica could be improved by adding lines like "Lickety dickety yummitty cum, anywhere but up the bum."

Good story. Hope Dr. Rockette doesn't read paxacidus or you might have some explaining to do.

[megapulse]

congratulations tommy. spectacular.

brett, we need to talk . . . "I'm still married so that just doesn't happen" i don't get this.

and i'm telling the hubby.

i'm still married and it happens all the time. maybe it's the kids. we're getting ready to have kids, well, kid, but a bj takes no time, little effort and can be very quiet. i mean this is something a person can do with little to no effort, i mean it's just not a difficult task, it's not.

[Tommy Martyn]

On with the telling.

I have a good friend here in town. I've known her and her husband for years. They broke up about a year ago. Dave her husband owns a pub. (McC had a beer there when he visited) They have a daughter, who is about nine months older than my Henry. His wife was in England while I was there. She called me about hooking up. Sadly she was leaving town the day after I arrived. I explained that I was just dropping the kids off with their mother before heading out. She suggested that she coud stay on in London for a week and we could party on.

I admit I was confused. Was she coming on? She was the soon to be ex-wife of a good friend. I asked another friend of mine what he thought. He said that she was looking for a date.

When I got back into town she called me up to take the kids out to a pool. We all hooked up and had a great time. We tramped back to her place and the kids took off in search of toys and rooms to trash. When we were alone, she asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner. I said I wasn't comfortable with that, seeing as her husband was my good friend. I said I was more than happy to keep hanging out with the kids. She got real serious and said something along the lines of that such a scenario would be like torture, seeing as she wanted to be with me. Very flattering for an old man like me, I'll tell you.

The kids came back in and "all of a sudden" it was time to go. As she was waving me off from her back door, she said that she hoped I didn't feel weird about her advances. Later that night she called me at home and asked me if I had thought about what she had said. I can't lie, I had spent the afternoon looking at her in her bikini - I couldn't concentrate on much else. The next day was Friday and she wanted to go out on Saturday. I called her ex Dave and asked him how he felt about me going out to dinner. He said that it would be great. Kelly needed to get out. He needed to get out and it would be easier on him if word got about him having a date. So, his short answer was thanks.

I went out on Saturday night then. It was a great laugh. No funny stuff. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, but does it get any better than having dinner in stong evening sunshine with a pretty woman?

[Tommy Martyn]

Actually, there was just a bit of funny stuff. The restaurant was on the river and you could visit by boat. We walked down the dock as the sun was setting and sat on the end of the pier. We did some smooching. In lots of ways it was better than the shagging of my other date.

[mccutcheon]

One of these days you are gonna wake up and be like, DAMN I"VE WASTED SOME YEARS, but now you won't think you've wasted your life. Ya got great kids and did that thing and now have some time for yourself.