Rumsfeld and the art of dating

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 2:12 am

So following in the steps of our secretary of defense I tried to approach my single life the same way he approached Iraq. So I went ahead without a plan, met a lot of girls and spread myself pretty thin. Seeing like five girls as only one man proved to difficult and now I'm stuck in a quagmire. I wanted a light loving force with no commitment to the other side and responded to late night calls quickly, drunk and sometimes with inferior equipment that didn't work. After quickly making it with several women I declared myself a player and "victory." But I wasn't able to sustain control with any of them having not put in the time and resources. Strapped with a high rent my wife left me and totally underfunded my mission sputtered when trying to do 'dinner and movies.' Although morale has been low and the enemy has blended in with the locals I am still sticking to my mantra that I must remain steadfast in my goals. Unable to pay my cell phone bills, my communications division is breaking down. And the dents in my acura are starting to make my pimp ride look like a burned out humvee. I need some fucking tactical nukes, more funding and more support from my dwindling allies that should be setting me up with girls. The war on dating will be long and tough but I've got to stick with it.

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 2:20 am

Sorry - doesn't sound like a good dating plan to me

Do you have instant messengers? They're free - I use them all the time. Cell phones suck; but maybe try to get a plan like I have with free nights and weekends (works for me since rarely is anyone I want to talk to even awake before 3pm...)

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 2:27 am

i've got a decent plan as long as i pay the bill, but i haven't been into that lately, are you suggesting monogamy???

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 2:32 am

of course not! lol
Buuut... seems like a little too much to have at once doesn't it?

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 2:42 am

obviously since i haven't got that now. but how much is enough?

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 2:52 am

*shrugs* umm 2-3 or various one nite stands?

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 3:21 am

Three sounds like a better number. Two is like a competition, three is a free for all...

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 3:42 am

threesomes are fun....

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 3:53 am

i know another girl in missouri...

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 4:08 am

do you? lol

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 4:25 am

south korean, massage therapist, but she's in springfield so your night would get worse and worse and then better and better.

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 4:31 am

haha - I have some land outside springfield. my family's from there. scary thought eh...

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 4:36 am

endless strip malls and nothingness... i almost got killed at harpo's, you know the place?

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 4:43 am

yeah; oh here's a BB of BB story but it's about my father (actually if my father weren't such a dick and I could be honest with him we may be good friends)...
There is a one (and only one) bar in the Branson-Springfield area (in betweenish so in the middle of ass fuck nowhere MO) that plays rock music (or non-country). So my dad, mum, aunt and uncles all decided to find it. Well, eventually they did and there it happens to be packed. There are four chairs left - my mum and two aunts sit down and then there's one. My uncle sits down for a bit while my dad drinks their cheap beer like a fish. Eventually, my dad can no longer stand and my uncle gives my dad the chair (they're both pretty big guys)... unfortunately, when my dad sits down on it - the damn thing breaks underneath him. This caused a whole lot of issues with managment and they got kicked out of the bar and had to drive around for a little bit because some people from the bar were following them home... lol

... and yes, this being my family probably explains a lot about me!

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Nov 20, 2004 4:45 am

i think i've been there, i thought it was all right the first time through but they had the insane clone posse on my way back and i was scared.