I'm suffocating...

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:11 am

I think my roommate is trying to kill me with her fucking hairspray... How much of the shit can one person possibly need to put in their hair? It's really amazing that I don't think she looks any better once she's finished spending hours in front of the mirror.

Actually, I don't think she ever looks better.

In any case - the hairspray is totally making me ill. (More ill - I have the consumption; probalby not - it's more likely a combination of my weekend and a slight cold; but I think it's the consumption because I refuse to admit that perhaps I've done a little too much speed and smoked too much - on second thought, maybe I'll quit smoking.)

Tommy Martyn · Post by **Tommy Martyn** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 5:43 am

That's fuck all sister. Earlier today my roomate/daughter Miranda (isn't that the just the most beatiful name? answer - yes) pissed in her potty and picked it up and put it in the dishwasher. Last saturday she shit a turd in her hand and brought it to me - but do you hear me fucking moaning? FYI Coventry smells like an anchovy's cunt, never mind hairspray.

Tommy Martyn · Post by **Tommy Martyn** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 5:44 am

She is trying to kill you because you keep teasing her with them fabulous knockers and she can't take it anymore.

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 6:53 am

mmmmmmmm ... but you *wanted* to have children (presumably) or rather made the choice.

That's ok though; I let a male friend of mine piss in her shampoo while he was drunk to be a bitch so eh! For the record - I didn't encourage it; it just happened and I didn't do much to discourage it

... she also errased my messages. And bleached my washcloth. And stole my makeup. And wakes me every morning at 7:30 blowdrying her damn hair six inches from my head.

I think these things warrent revenge - I'm vain and need my beauty sleep. Desperately.

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 6:55 am

You know - the real problem with my roommate is I'm too goddamn polite. I could kill my grandmother for forcing me to be a lady at this point. Somehow, I don't think "Could you please not ..." and "Um, it would be appreciated if you'd..." ... "well, okay... thanks?" is entirely apporiate at this point.

*seethes*

Maverick · Post by **Maverick** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 8:20 pm

You should just have sex with her. That'll release all of the tension.

marky · Post by **marky** » Fri Nov 12, 2004 8:23 am

I say a hairspray can for a hairspray can. What you do is get your own hairspray and say you want to be just like her and spray and spray until she suffocates just the way you are. Oh okay this would cause you to suffocate too, but hey maybe you'll outlive her.

Seriously you obviously have to say something. I'm going through similar irritation with someone I live with and one day I think I'm just going to snap. But yet I think your situation is worse than mine. I can't stand smells like hairspray all the time. I think you have every right if it's making you sick to say something. There's some really gross chemicals in stuff like that.

TragicPixie · Post by **TragicPixie** » Fri Nov 12, 2004 10:54 pm

wooohoo!! I think she's moving out!

*does a that's awesome dance*

Okay - she's moving out and I'm going to marry Dave... Now I'm happy.

sara · Post by **sara** » Sat Nov 13, 2004 12:00 am

your horror-mate stories are funny. I used to dream of blessing out my former roomie. They were all weird dreams, and I always woke up feeling really stupid. Needless to say, she was hung-up on one of our drug-dealing neighbors and would put a glass cup on the wall to listen to their conversations -- these were guys too stoned to remember our names after we'd hung out with them many many times

This is also a girl who asked me to switch names with her so I'd get the news on her AIDS test -- it was great getting busted on that! I could have killed her. But then I agreed to do it -- so . . . .

I love her