out of love

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Wed Aug 11, 2004 5:35 am

so much analyzation of love these days, seeing as I've fallen out of it but not love. and heading for divorce and reliving it all again. i went to your cousin's yesterday mcc, and she said it is very european looking. never eat at a place where the dining room smells worse than the bathroom. but seriously, uh i hate that, but mmmm i've been a wreck the last couple days. and feeling better now that everyone is accepting it. i guess that was the greatest fear, what everyone else would think. but wow, feeling liberated, inibreated, and exhausted. and i've just uncovered a whole new weath of material i guess i'll have to pull myself out of the gutter and find a clean white sheet of paper. maybe i'll write or draw or stain it. top 4 divorce albums:
"Control" by Pedro the Lion
"Blood on the Tracks" by Bob Dylan
"Sea Change" by Beck
"Echo" by Tom Petty
Actually my wedding song was off of "Echo" I guess i should have known my marriage was doomed.
peace and love to all lovers and stay lovers, don't become friends or adults and please don't get old.

martino · Post by **martino** » Wed Aug 11, 2004 7:57 am

the road to divorce is the one i am on as well, so i understand your situation jake. if you feel like i do your body always hurts and you cry often when alone. there is this feeling of uselessness and sadness that i wish upon no one.

"don't become friends or adults" -- well this however is where i differ from you. i sincerely believe that the only way for a marriage to survive is when you can preserve the kindness of friendship -- the easy-going emotionalism that reflects that we are, beyond conflicts of money and sex and belief, all brothers and sisters.

but this is the opinion of a guy who has given up on something that managed to hold itself together for a good eighteen years, so what do i know. peace to you.

marky · Post by **marky** » Wed Aug 11, 2004 5:41 pm

Jeez, what with you guys and McC, Paxacidus is breakup central these days.

Post by **Sloth** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 1:25 am

Linda and I are going strong. As long as the alcohol lasts...

no really I wouldn't know what to do without her. I would probably move in with McCutcheon.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 1:37 am

And I would move in with Linda.

Post by **Sloth** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 3:19 pm

McCutcheon,

There is a 20 year old polo player from Argentina who is madly in love with you. I was chatting with her yesterday. She seems to have it bad.

I gave her your email. She kept asking if I had any naked pictures of you, and if I would send them (!)

Then she invited us down to Argentina.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 3:44 pm

Oh Cry for me A. Where is she at the moment? I could use her here with me now. I'm sitting here naked and alone--I swear I spent half this summer fucking naked because it is just too damn hot to wear clothes, so here I am in my stuffy little apartment, with the broken air conditioner- but I got all my records, two turntables and I got Alcho Pops a plenty. It could be a party.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 3:44 pm

and I got Baby Oil Baby!

Post by **Sloth** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 7:40 pm

Burnt Face,

Sorry to hear about the breakup.

Of course that poem you wrote makes more sense now. I joked before to Linda that I would never write a poem about her unless she left me. Let's hope I never write one about her, as she is not my better half, she is my better 19/20ths.

Best of luck finding another love... not that you need it... as Jonie said on Happy Days about divorcees... they are 'hot to trot'!

And how old are you? 23? 24? Imagine in some cultures you can;t divorce. Marriage used to be a life sentence. You and Martino should lift a few pints to the liberal thinkers that made getting divorced a-okay in society's eyes.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:08 pm

There is a great SKA song called Married Too Young.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 8:47 pm

Martino I'm sorry. I guess I didn't get that email, or I thought you were having troubles but I didn't know it was like that.

I think of you. And I think of Burnt Face Jake. And I think of Tom and his grandmother. And I think of Marky, because he is Marky and fun to think of. And I think of Rachel McAdamas because she is also fun to think of, but in a different way.

martino · Post by **martino** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 8:59 am

i appreciate your warm words mc, but there surely was no need to say you're sorry. i am re-sending the email and you will then see that i'm pretty fine, all things considered.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 2:16 pm

thanks for yur understanding sloth and martino. It's been quite the week, much uncertainty and drinking and not eating, and not sleeping. I brought my journal to work today and plan on writing one fucking manifesto of a poem on marriage and divorce as opposed to several cry me a rivers. Bukowski said that a poem was like a hot beer shit, so i want to get this thing out of my system. as for finding another love, at 24, i am not looking, not for a good long while! i think the poem will start something like:

well i got divorced,
and my friends were all felons
and the porno girls

it's a start anyways...

Post by **mccutcheon** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 6:17 pm

What about me- don't get mad at me because I mention the SKA song. I was just trying to add to your list of music. it might be a relief.

Friends are felons.

What the hell does that mean? Is Jack robbing 7-11's again?

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Aug 14, 2004 4:00 pm

it really is what it is, Jack's pretty straight, but there are some others...but can't talk about that.