I could be at a rave; but instead, I'm sitting around getting fat punishing myself for eating by not going and dancing as well as waiting on a good for nothing boy.
I just thought it was necessary to point out how stupid I was before I began with this.
There's a rave at a local club or whatever, and I'm dying to go. Except, I have no cash because of school. (Which sucks, but I remind myself I will be in Paris by July so it's all good right?) The real reason I stayed home though, wasn't the excuses I made like that I have a psychology experiment and paper to do and write by Monday (which I do) or that my media presentation on 1993 needs to be worked on, or that I have an Earth-Day Parade to be at tomorrow by 8am. It's that my allegedly loving boyfriend hasn't called, IMed, e-mailed, shouted, written, relyed friend to friend, ANYTHING all day. When we were supposed to be going out tonight; or doing homework together tonight, or hey, at least letting me know he has something better to do tonight other than me. Only this is a recurrant theme in our realtionship: we make plans, he is supposed to call, he doesn't, I wait, I get distressed and call him, I can't get ahold of him, I get angry, I get depressed and lonely, I drink, smoke, whatever, and finally he calls but by that time it doesn't really matter what we do; I'm not going to be happy either way.
Sometimes he redeems himself. He *did* get me two dozen roses last weekend, and he did take me out on an actual date. He actually did say "I missed you; I don't usually miss people like that" which ... was sweet I guess.
But, really, why do I put up with this?
I'm stupid;
and I'm drunk and I'll get fatter...
And I'm lonely and stuck here for the night AGAIN.
I'm Stupid
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TragicPixie
- Mile High Club
- Posts: 831
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:19 am
- Location: St. Louis, MO
- Contact:
-
TragicPixie
- Mile High Club
- Posts: 831
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:19 am
- Location: St. Louis, MO
- Contact: