Fake tits

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Tommy Martyn
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Post by Tommy Martyn » Mon Nov 06, 2006 3:26 pm

Can I just make sure that everybody understands that I wasn't obsessed with these boobs, I just wanted to know what they felt like. One great thing about breast surgery is that it it can sometimes help women who have had breast cancer. I did see an interview with a woman who had her boobs done after being ill and she was very happy, she said she felt whole again. I also had a friend in Seattle who got a nose job while she was in hospital after her abusive dad broke her nose. Her new nose was much better than her old one. Way to go Erin!

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Post by megapulse » Mon Nov 06, 2006 11:11 pm

"I did see an interview with a woman who had her boobs done after being ill and she was very happy, she said she felt whole again. I also had a friend in Seattle who got a nose job while she was in hospital after her abusive dad broke her nose. Her new nose was much better than her old one. Way to go Erin!"

okay

i was going to refrain from posting. i really was. then i couldn't. i'm not trying to sound as insensitive as anne coulter about the 9/11 wives and let me just preface this with i will probably one day have breast cancer, so

i am not my breasts -- they do not make me whole. fuck that stupid line of thinking! fuck it to hell. i am not my nose. i was punched in the nose when i was fifteen -- it was an odd backhand, a fist right across the bridge of my nose. and it was by someone who was bipolar and when she got crazy she'd get uncontrollably angry -- she took it out on me a lot because she knew i would always love her and she could get away with it -- she did other crazy ass shit too, but the nose was probably the worst physically. i have a knot on it -- i can't erase the fact that someone did that to me, nor can i forget it. and changing my nose would not change the fact that she hit me and was crazy. what i can do and have done is forgiven her and moved on. my nose and i live with it. i say it again, that's life, and this is me. people are obsessed with not being who they are, they try to erase the tragic things that happened to them instead of dealing with it, and a lot, a whole lot of people profit off of making us think that we can't deal with it.

tommy you are not your ass, your six pack, your flabby gut, your grey hair, or your no hair!

my grandma had breast cancer -- she laughs about her lack of tits, she's like what the hell good they ever do me?

and it'll probably happen to me as that is hereditary / genetics.

i asked the hubby last night just b/c of this topic. i did it really tricky and reverse psychology-style -- of course i was probably not being smooth at all -- but i asked anyway. i said honey, if my body doesn't go back to being slim and beautiful after this baby, if exercise and eating well doesn't work, and my boobs start sagging really badly because of the baby breasfeeding (which by the way won't happen -- saggy boobs like breast cancer is hereditary) -- would you help me pay for some surgeries? He was like are you fucking crazy?! i burst out laughing and said thanks. :)

it is a person's choice -- although that is a really obvious no brainer statement -- no one is arguing for the legality of it -- i'm not saying let's take away a woman's right to pay ungodly amounts to have someone else cut her up and put her back together again -- but i don't think it should be applauded -- good job you've conformed a bit more to the media's standards and you've paid a ridiculous amount to do it!

pixie, i don't think there's a damn thing wrong with being a wuss about something like that. i think it actually shows an amazing amount of comon sense -- good job!

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TragicPixie
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Post by TragicPixie » Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:02 am

ahhh... I had a nose job when I was 14ish because they had to re-create my nasal cavity due to constant sinus infections... whatever, basically, I got a new nose that looked mostly the same, just, with slightly more of a bridge. Eh...

Eitherway - that was possibly one of the more tramatising things I've ever done: even beats the wisdom teeth removal that got infected while at the same time I had mono and pneumonia. (which I can't spell - but let me tell ya, I spent two months in bed when I was 18 because I was deathly ill)

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Post by marky » Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:56 am

I would just like to clarify that I have no earthly idea where I got that 60% figure from.

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Tommy Martyn
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Post by Tommy Martyn » Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:07 pm

I love that story about Erin. The night that her dad broke her nose, he filled the bath tub and tried to drag her in there to drown her. She really did fight for her life. She went into hospital with a Striesand type schnozz and came out with an ordinary one. She always jokes about it with her twin sister.

I wouldn't mind getting my ears done. The woman I'm seeing is the same way. We're always laughing about having massive eared freak babies.

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Post by megapulse » Tue Nov 07, 2006 10:54 pm

mark, i think sixty percent came from the pumpkin juice and perhaps the pumpkin muffins

pixie, my bro had a nose surgery this summer. he absolutely had the world's smallest nose, it was a button, now he can breathe . . . before he couldn't. all kinds of deviation in his semptum, and i thought mine was bad. i think surgeries to save your life / health are a different thing all together.

i was thinking more about the whole because i had breast cancer fake tits make me whole argument . . .

and what i thought was should i have had a fake cervix implanted when the doctors told me i couldn't carry babies as easily without a whole one . . . would that beaut of new cervix fix me?

dunno. i drank a bunch of tea that native americans
recommended for vaginal strength and wellness and my cervix has held up just fine. it was fairly cheap too, found it in the organics section and i think, it must have worked.

tommy, i'm sorry for your friend, erin, and really i'm sorry for her dad too. i'm so happy she survived her dad, and i hope emotionally she's as beautiful as her nose now.

it was my mom who punched me in the nose. she did a lot of crazy things for a while. they are not the entirity of her or of my childhood, just like my nose isn't. you can see why maybe i just think, well get over it, tragedy happens life goes on. my mom's fine now, so am i.

i hope your babies are healthy, big ears!

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Post by marky » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:28 am

Sorry but that reminded me immediately of Alfred E. Neuman you know that guy who used to be on Mad magazine covers? The one with the big ears?

And then I found a quote by Hillary Clinton from 2005 saying " 'I sometimes feel that Alfred E. Neuman is in charge in Washington', Clinton said referring to the freckle-faced Mad magazine character"

Fuck it I can't post a picture of him. Just fuck the internet, okay? It won't let me, so just fuck it.

Yes you are absolutely correct Sarah that it came from the pumpkin "juice" and muffins. Good call. I'm sorry to say though that the store quit carrying my precious Pumpkin Ale and the party may be over for good with that. At least until next Halloween I guess. *sniff* What will I drink now, white wine? I mean...WHINE??? *cries*

Just kidding. I wouldn't cry over beer that's stupid. Honestly never been so attached to a particular beer before, though.

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Post by marky » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:43 am

Still enjoying the pumpkin "muffins" I made, except that they are just these round oblong discs, only about an inch tall. They're much wider than they are tall. I guess I will have to give in and get baking soda next time so they will rise like muffins should. I thought baking powder would be enough and I was trying to avoid sodium. They still taste good, my "muffins" though. Really good. Another thing was I used straight pumpkin rather than "pumpkin puree" like the recipe called for, but I don't think that really affected them badly. Also I added just a smidgen of a diced walnut/pecan mix, and that worked out good as well.

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TragicPixie
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Post by TragicPixie » Wed Nov 08, 2006 6:07 am

heh marky you must be a better baker than me... our dinner of muffins didn't turn out so well. All we have in the house was some muffin stuff and nothing to spray the pan with - so I tried to use a stick of butter to grease it so they would come out - but that's difficult in heart shaped muffin pans :(

But hey - my carebear cake last month was heavenly! :)

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Post by megapulse » Thu Nov 09, 2006 10:55 pm

"Sorry but that reminded me immediately of Alfred E. Neuman you know that guy who used to be on Mad magazine covers? The one with the big ears?"

yes!! mad magazine. who as a kid did not love mad magazine? that actually fits perfectly with a thread on physical flaws (which i'd be happy calling phsyical idiosyncrasies) b/c that is what mad's artists live for.

i actually thought about buying some and putting them in my classroom a few weeks ago but thought better of it. my reasoning was, i'll get fired for this. but i don't know i might do it.

mad is great. the best for kids.

does tommy really have big ears?

okay, all this muffin talk and tits, has anyone else heard of muffin tops -- i think it's a derogatory remark about a girl squeezed into a shirt that's too small -- you know like a muffin overflowing it's wrapper? am i right or way off? who knows? pixie, you're the youngest? have you heard this remark and what does it mean?

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Post by megapulse » Thu Nov 09, 2006 10:56 pm

damn it! i hate it when i do that. it's should be its. okay, someone answer the muffin top question. please.

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TragicPixie
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Post by TragicPixie » Thu Nov 09, 2006 11:20 pm

never heard of it - and since I haven't heard it used, I could be way off. But to me muffin top sounds like a comment about a girl's breasts - either that they're small (muffin sized ?) or maybe having a bad cause of quadro-boob (ya know - when you'r bra is too big so it's like you have two mini tits popping up ontop of your tits...)

I have a friend who claims he has a muffin butt - he means that his ass apparently looks like a muffin.

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Post by marky » Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:51 am

I've never heard the phrase "muffin top" either.

But I remember one incredibly beautiful woman on the bus months ago, I used to see her fairly regularly on the bus but not anymore...anyway...the only thing wrong was that her bra size was too small. I kindof felt sorry for her for that.

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Post by megapulse » Fri Nov 10, 2006 9:19 pm

"quadro-boob (ya know - when you'r bra is too big so it's like you have two mini tits popping up ontop of your tits...)"

quadro-boob ahhhahahaha! i can't even visualize this, it must be bad. plus funny :) the overflowing tops i've seen. you know low-riding jeans plus tiny tops -- boobs poping out of the top flabby roll out of the bottom -- i think guys may like this, but they have gone the way of parachute pants in the fashion world for now, and i'm glad. but i daily see 8th graders -- sometimes they are on the cutting edge of fashion and sometimes they are falling off the edge of fashion.

oh well, i've heard muffin top a couple of times and would like to know what exactly the kids are talking about. but i don't want to ask. i will have to use my powers of deduction -- which don't always work.

i will never forget the first time when i was on the bus as a little kid, i think 5th grade and this older kid was talking about a blow job and i went home and asked my brother, what is a blow dryer? and we tried really hard to figure out what this was code for. i wonder if he even remembers. i'll have to ask.

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Post by marky » Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:41 pm

I remember the time I realized my own mother didn't know the meaning of the term "blow job". That was weird, but I guess I wouldn't put it past her.

Check this out Sarah:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muffin_top

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