Bulletin Board of Bad Behavior

After going one and 1-7 in the Summer tour of the season... the Sloth... yes the Sloth... has managed to finish 5-3 in the Fall tour and has made the playoffs... yes the playoffs.

To all those people out there who told the Sloth he wasn't good enought to play 3.5, I invite you to come watch me kick some butt sometime this weekend.

So what if I drink wine all night and eat fatty food and eat candy and spent druggy nights with my mates that last all weekend? So what if I smoke and spend 10 hours a day in front of the computer?

I MADE THE EFFING PLAYOFFS!

THE FIRST YEAR I EVER PLAYED TENNIS COMPETETIVELY!!!

Details to follow...

Good for you. I'm glad you are kicking butt in 3.5. Time to move up a level?

thats pretty impressive. i wish i was active. but work kinda prevents that. maybe one of these days ill lose my gut.

How does the SLOTH feel today?

Or how does the effing SLOTH feel?

Last night sitting at a table in the local pub the effing SLOTH puked. Up chucked where he sat. His wife was not impressed. I don't think I can be blamed, even though I did beat him earlier that day in straight sets. 2nd set I was up 5-1 and had 40-love to win the match. The SLOTH came back, BIG TIME. As SLOTHS do. And then he had me in a tie-break and was up 6-3. All he needed to do was score one more point. But I won 10-8. Maybe I am to blame.

ooops goddamitt... I am logged in as McCutcheon...

This is the sloth....

I fee great... I wish it wasn't raining so I could get back on those courts!

Okay actually I am hungover. Luckily I slept until noon. That made it a bit easier.

I hate it when I am hungover... and in my dreams I am hungover too. What's up with that?

Does that happen to anybody effing else out there?

Also Linda was really mad when I puked at the table. Luckily McCutcheon said it was no big deal. He saved me. I think she thought it was an American thing maybe and not a Sloth thing.

"Why didn't you go to the bathroom?"

"Why did you throw all that Taco Bell rubbish in the neighbor's garden?"

Personally I don't remember puking on myself. I think I just burped and a bunch of beer and Jaegermeister came up. I didn't have any puke on my clothes.

I heard about several time under the sheets this morning though... so it must have happened.

Slothster the Tennister!!!!!

You must tell me where to be at what time to see you play your gig, man!!!! Good for you.

I play 7:30 PM on Thursday at Greenlake.

Congratulations Sloth!

When we play, I often get ahead a couple of games, then think I'm going to win, but the Sloth almost always comes back and beats me. Guess I'll have to join that tennis league and learn how to play like a Sloth.

Kick ass in the playoffs and when you get to the finals, we'll have a celebration!

(is this going to show up in the right place? This new system is still a bit confusing to my brain)

Damn, I effing missed ya. This was one of those weeks when I should have checked the board midweek. Greenlake's right near my house, too. Oh well, tell us how it went.

Hungover in your dreams...now that's a wild concept.

It happened again! I was hungover AND constipated in my dreams just like in my real life. Thank God I've got coffee and Advil. I can't smoke marijuana anymore. Maybe a toke now again around noon but other than that forget about it.

I LOST THE EFFING PLAYOFFS.

It's weird. I thought I was better than the other guy... but there was wind and all that shite. And then I realized I am still sore today. Which probably means he ran my ass around the court and kicked my slothy ass.

I'll get them next year!

It's so embarrassing being a 3.5. I am playing all these misfits... like faggy people and old people who played tennis for years. They just know when to hit it and where. The other newbies I cream. I need some lessons and some controlled anger.

Yeah, but you wouldn't care if they were faggy or old, as long as you could beat them. And you will. You didn't think you could make it THIS far, so with more practice, you'll make it even further. Of this I have no doubt.

I must say hangovers and coffee don't mix, though. That's what I call starving your body of water. Hangovers are bad enough without constipation on top of it. Try tea. Has less caffeine, and has lots of antioxidants to help you keep from getting sick. I know it sounds crazy, I wasn't sure I'd ever be a convert myself. But they've done studies and apparently people who drink 4 cups of tea a day (green or black, though black has more caffeine) have less chance of getting sick than people who drink neither tea nor coffee and people who just drink coffee. Being an anglophile, I know you'll think "oh yeah, right Mark, of course you'd mention tea, the British of all British things to drink" but seriously, I never thought I'd become a tea fan, and I have.

I can't imagine dreaming that I'm hungover, let alone constipated. These are such physical feelings. How can they carry over into dreams? Closest I can come to that was dreaming I was on acid once...the hit I took was about 5 times bigger than they are in real life...like taking one of those fabric samples...