Wisonsin, land of the free and the fat, but not the fat free

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Dec 27, 2001 11:18 am

hi rosie here
i can't believe i'm here in fucking wisconsin with a scot american bastard i have only known for about 4 days. his friends are super foxy, my favorite, lisa, shanta and kyle. this place is like the shining meets happy days. too much ,but i love it. my belly burns from too much good wine and company. i made friends with the man of my dreams . we potato launched like nobodys business.
this house i am in is so fucking big people worry if your not tied to them in the same fucking room, but the attention is genuine and for this i am glad. i like boxing day because i love to return shit, however, this year i received nothing , except a pair of size six childrens underwear and a favre jersey. all good not about to return anything. the fondue was a hit ,but i have never seen anything like this. it is like being in an arab club with a rack of lamb, you can't get enough. i need a solid meal!!! does anyone not eat chhheesssee in wisconsin? i wonder.
they have a store called piggly wiggly here and everyone is super helpful and super unhealthy or fat

~~kyle here~~~

the evening's getting drunken and we cant log out and switch who's writing. I have to say something about Piggly Wiggly. Sure it's cheesy. Sure it's tottaly crap Wisconsin grocery store, but I was stuck in Munich once with no money and I had to call home and beg for them to wire me cash so I could survive. I was in salzburg and I went tot the American Express office to contact my family. The girl that processed my claim was a GORGEOUS german named Katarina Wunder (WUNDERBA). I met Katarina a couple days in a row and asked wher in WI I could get money wired to me in Austria. K checked her console and said that there was only one [;ace from Janesville, WI that I could get money wired to me:

"It is zee Pigg-lee Wigg-lee? Is right?"

Oh, god it was so cute to hear this hot Austrian banker with olive skin, a brinette bob and blue eyes, tell me the neame of the silliest grocery store of my childhood."

in my broken German I responded:

"Ya, Piggly Wiggly ist gut."

and the money got me to Budapest...

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Dec 27, 2001 2:32 pm

we just did a steam bath all naked and then Kyle threw up! and i don't know what state I'm in. take that anyway you can.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Dec 27, 2001 7:33 pm

Kyle is cleaning up the puke. Rosie isn't talking to me, or is I can't tell, it might be in a different language, Lisa is lost and Shanta is passed out. Rosie just gave me a super big hug and said 'Hey baby!' so I think I'm in there. badda boom!

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Dec 27, 2001 10:17 pm

Kyle can't find his new underpants he just bought for the plane ride (according to him the seats are more comfortable with a new pair of drawers) and is still too out of it to function so Rosie and I are trying to clean up his puke and I got out the bleach and got it all over my favorite pants, now I know that look is super sexy- having bleached out pants, but I'm still upset with that little munchkin. I’ll tell the whole truth and nothing but a few half-truths about last night when he is on a plane and can’t do anything about it. Ha Ha. England look out, you got a crazy munchkin coming your way.

Kyle · Post by **Kyle** » Sat Dec 29, 2001 2:51 am

who, you fuckin' calling a munchkin'?

just fuckin' finished drinkin' absinthe in london, no idea where the fuck I am. Last memory of boxing day was me nake din the steam bath giving Shanta a back rub, trying to talk he rinto letting Mc Cuthceon and I perform cunnilingus on her (she wisely declined). Not only is she cool, but she is also a sensible woman. Didnt get away from chez Mc Cutcheon til half-three, meant to get to the airport 3 hours beforehand got there an hour and a half beofre my flight left...

got my boarding pass, went through the line and they said "Sorr sir theres a problem, youre seat is already occupied, go to the ticket counter..."

FUCK, Im really hungover and dont need this!

Went to the counter and they said, oh youre seat is occupied because we upgraded you to business class!

PAX ACIDUS GLOBETROTTING IN STYLE!

I was sipping champagen in my lazy boy recliner, talking to a model next to me who was flying to London

cured my hangover nicely.

My friend Mike just got sick all over the floor (absinthe) met a pretty lesbian religion professor tonight named Lisa (were going out for New Years)

Pax acidus criss-crossing the globe. SLoth went from London to USA, I went from USA to London, McCuthceon is hopping across North America

travelling in style...

sorry, my fault, Mash didnt get sick he just pissed... (everyone's feraking out)

I lost my underpants, but I borrowed Zac's

nobody tell...

off to the footie tomorrow Arsenal v. Middlesboro

happy new year all!

...oh is that spliff for me?

K

P.S. Anne liked me better.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Dec 29, 2001 9:09 pm

Kyle is a bit confused in the mind. Anyway, he went to London to go to a New Year’s Eve Marquis de Sade masquerade ball, or at least that’s what he was telling everyone. I said he should get a mask of Geoffrey Rush. No one laughed at that joke. Turns out he is going to a Moulin Rouge masquerade ball so now he can go as Nicole Kiddman.

I was supposed to return to Seattle tomorrow morning and I would have missed the Packer game. Then I got a call a few hours ago from France and Michelle has got a car and a flat and is without companionship for the whole month of January. She called me up and said I had to come and keep her company, me being very good at keeping single girls company and all that. There have been problems with my passport and now I have to stick around and sort it out and will be in Wisconsin for the New Year, but I won’t miss the Packer game.

The potato launcher was a Christmas present I received from my ten-year old boy genius cousin. He got the directions off the Internet and built it himself. It is a long tube with an ignition on the bottom. It looks like a combo of homemade bomb and four-foot bong! You stuff a potato down the tube with a thruster (not sure if that is the correct terminology) but you stuff the bomb/bong like loading a musket in one of those Civil War movies. Then you add hairspray and pop the trigger. Bam! The fucking spud goes a flying with the velocity of Mighty Mouse!

Kyle sometimes says I’m a real charmer. It’s usually followed by the fact that he thinks I’m shameless. Well, this just isn’t true. The crazy little munchkin got totally pissed and when we were in the steam room, Kyle slurred up to Shanta and asked, “Can I rub my penis on you? It wouldn’t be a sexual thing.”

Later after Kyle scared Shanta away Rosie (Anne) and I had to revive him. I poured Champagne over his face the same moment he opened his eyes. I was just going to dribble a little trickle to get him up but in my drunken loss of dexterity I ended up pouring half the bottle over him. He thought he was drowning. He got up flailing his arms yelling, “I’m drowning! I’m blind! McCutcheon is trying to kill me!” The naked Rosie had to hold the naked Kyle under the shower to pacify him. I think it took longer than need be. Kyle is sly.

After the steam bath, around five in the morning, we retired to watch the Special Edition DVD of Spinal Tap. Kyle tried sitting on Shanta’s lap. “Just give me a kiss, just a little one.” Then Kyle bolted out of the room to throw up. I asked if he made it to the toilet. He told me he had, this turned out to be a lie. So Kyle came back to Shanta smelling like the vilest vomit and said again, “Just give me a kiss, just a little one.”

Shanta told Kyle to go to bed so he headed upstairs to where Lisa was passed out. I heard he tried again with his amorous moves and the unhappy Lisa shouted, “NO ACTION!”
From there on in I can’t account for his whereabouts, but talk about a real charmer, talk about shameless. The next day I had to pick up his puke. I love that crazy little munchkin!

P.S. Who got the blow jobs?

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Dec 29, 2001 9:18 pm

Hey Jack, now that I'm stuck here for a bit we could meet up at Maxwell's or T.J. Ryan's or something.

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Sat Dec 29, 2001 9:43 pm

Mc- that sounds good, we could get together for a few sociable drinks. Don't worry, I'm not going to pepper you with stupid questions about the past year of posts and arguments. Just some friendly chat will do. I'll be around cedarburg until the 15th of january and then i'm moving back to madison to continue my education.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Dec 29, 2001 11:47 pm

education is good. Zac leave tomorrow so we might be doing family things tonight.

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Sun Dec 30, 2001 12:14 am

who should have gotten blow jobs?

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sun Dec 30, 2001 12:21 am

I got the pictures back today. And if photographic evidence is anything to go by the right people got the blowjobs. Also, Rosie there is a great one of you with the cousins and potato launcher, you’re all wearing FDNY Ground Zero hats and out in the cold. There is also one of you in Kyle’s boxers so now we know where they disappeared too. I called today. How is it back in Seattle? Does everyone miss me?

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Sun Dec 30, 2001 1:07 am

this is true and i am glad it is now known by everyone. i gave blow jobs to everyone at the party . i had about twenty people panties on.i am really happy about it all. fondue blow jobs for everyone at paxacidus!

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Sun Dec 30, 2001 7:00 am

I don't know if you enjoy the comfort of a house for the packer game, but i prefer a tavern of some sort, or a townie bar. Maybe Ryan's for the Pack? Well, I'll probably be there.

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Sun Dec 30, 2001 9:03 am

hey everyone at pxacidus
remember back in the day when Eric b was president, ll cool j was bad, too short was born to mack , and sir mix alot's posse was on broadway? well, baby that is seattle tonite
i am here with gian carlo , and friends, mcuthcheys soccer pal etc.
aint no steam room kyle, but should be super sexy
happy new year!
i had a great time at boxing party
more fun tonite.

HI this is Giancarlo sup buddy I'm here with your pal Rosi and we are heading to the balticroom for a kick ass show hope you had a great christmas aight have a happy new year too.

<rosie> · Post by **<rosie>** » Sun Dec 30, 2001 9:19 am

hello. alicia here. yah, i heard about you. you and your boxing day party. i have nothing to say now. rosie won't let me write what i want to. nasty-huh? if i must say.....her lips are still healing. i'm super funny and super witty! tah-dah! oh yeah. we're going to the pretty parlor to get some good outfits for a good new years!!! what a shame you won't be here. im better than amanda.