crazy people

Post by **mccutcheon** » Mon Dec 16, 2002 3:58 pm

You know one thing I have noticed down here in the Evil Heat is how nice the insane people dress. When you lose your mind fashion and style always go out the window. I’m used to Seattle where you see bums walking around barefoot in the rain talking to their unseen gods. Down here I see people walking around in suits and ties just jabbering away to nobody in particular. I was in a bar and this guy was having a conversation with himself. At first I thought he was talking to me. I moved a few stools down. After the bar I’m walking through a deserted car park and this guy dressed in back was coming toward me, holding an in-depth conversation with no one. Then I saw it. The little wire connected to his ear. It was a hit! This guy was an assassin hired to take me out. I knew Sloth shouldn’t have put up that stinky Bush thingy on the front page, now the Sloth has gone too far and I was going to die because of it. I dropped my novel (the only copy in existence) and ran away shielding my head from the soon to be bullets that I knew were coming my way. He must have used a silencer (I didn’t even hear the shots ring out) and it’s a good thing I’m so athletic because I made it home running in a zigzag screaming loudly down a busy street. At home I explained what happened to my girlfriend Amanda. She didn’t believe me! I’m alone in this world. Amanda said that the people talking out loud are actually on the phone and I was just acting paranoid. And that maybe it would be a good idea if I stopped drinking at 6am. I bet she is in on the plot, working for the government. Is the whole world crazy but me?

martino · Post by **martino** » Mon Dec 16, 2002 5:04 pm

well, i for one refuse to be paranoid, even though it is pretty obvious that most people are out to get me

martino · Post by **martino** » Mon Dec 16, 2002 5:05 pm

on the other hand, the fact that i am getting more and more deja vu feelings indicates that something is not quite in order with the matrix in which i am living

martino · Post by **martino** » Mon Dec 16, 2002 5:17 pm

no honestly, and seriously: people here are getting rather weird in their pre-christmas nervousness. it should be the season of love but it seems it is the season of crazed consumerism mixed with economic fears. in other words, "i gotta spend -- but if i lose my job i might be forced to commit suicide".

at the train station one old guy was sobbing loudly; a few minutes later in the subway a guy next to me, dressed in an expensive suit, started complaining loudly about his lack of constitutionally-guaranteed rights -- "they tell me to shut up, i told them to fuck off, i know my rights, motherfuckers trying to shit on me, it says in paragraph so and so they can't do this, fuck that..."

i myself am not feeling christmaslike at all. there is but one gift i wish for myself which is a few pages from a blowjob voucher booklet they have in a hip local store. however, i am too shy and too reformed to ask for this from anybody but my wife.

Post by **Sloth** » Mon Dec 16, 2002 9:09 pm

If you are this paranoid now, mc, imagine what will happen if you ever get the fame you desire so much.

Let me put it this way...

Your Valium prescription will have unlimited refills and you will have the cell phone number of your analyst tattooed on your retinas.

I for one hope they get me. It might be my only chance of getting out the mediocrity soup of which my life is mired in.

And that's why I say AMERICA HAS A STINKY BUSH!!

Maverick · Post by **Maverick** » Tue Dec 17, 2002 2:41 am

Finally, a topic on here I can relate to...Paranoia. More to come...

Post by **mccutcheon** » Tue Dec 17, 2002 8:59 am

I was trying to do a piece of social comentary and the way phones and communication keep changing. Hope no ones jumps from the tracks of the bahn hof.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Tue Dec 17, 2002 4:31 pm

yes, yes, yes, but I was trying to be funny! no one gets it! i didn't really run down a crowded street in a zigzag screaming loudly! Though I'm starting to have my doubts about Amanda though. She keeps sneaking off to meet some guy named Jeff. -Another joke! (I hope) Today is Miss Capabionco's birthday. She turns 24!!!!! Happy b-day baby!!!!

Maverick · Post by **Maverick** » Tue Dec 17, 2002 10:34 pm

I got it, of course. I didn't think you ran down the street screaming, but it was believable that you wouldn't recognize the technology of headsets for what they are, since you can't even hardly plug in a toaster. I jsut wanted to talk about Paranoia.

marky · Post by **marky** » Wed Dec 18, 2002 4:07 am

I admit I couldn't quite figure out if you were serious, McC. Although in retrospect I might have known from the fact that mentally ill people don't normally dress well because they don't have the money to dress well. Not their fault.

What were you wanting to say about paranoia, Maverick?

martino · Post by **martino** » Wed Dec 18, 2002 8:08 am

i thought it was pretty darn funny, even though us krauts normally don't do humor

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Dec 19, 2002 4:29 pm

I love stereotypes so I have to say this: most Germans don't get it when you make things up just to be funny. I enjoy bending the truth and reality. Okay, okay I LIE! But that is fiction. The Universal Make-Belive.

I had this German guy on my footie team and one night after a match and I had a few pints of Guinness down the pub, I told him about this web site. (I usually don't tell people about Pax Acidus that I run into in daily life because most people who I have introduced to this site in the past have then stopped talking to me)

So I told this guy I run a web site, even though Sloth would argue he runs it and I just hang around barking orders and causing unwanted stress, but anyway, I thought nothing of it. That night at two in the morning I get a phone call. It’s my German teammate and he read a story and he wanted to know if it was true, how I got the idea, how I picked the names of the characters and all that. I said I don’t know.

The next day I get another phone call. The guy read another story and wants to deconstruct every sentence and break it down and get to the meaning of it all. I was thinking the meaning is entertainment. Don’t ruin it. And I have like thirty stories up and so I got a lot of phone calls.

During the next match I’m running with the ball at half field and instead of yelling, “Pass me the ball McCutcheon you shit head”!” and guy yells “How did you come up with the name Pax Acidus?” I mean right in the middle of the game. Unfortunately for me the guy also read poems and it was half a year before he got bored with the site and moved on to demanding why girls from Seattle don’t like inquisitive Germans.

Maverick · Post by **Maverick** » Thu Dec 19, 2002 11:15 pm

As far as inquisitive Germans go, I have found that many Germans manner of joking is so deadpan that even a normally perceptive American questions whether the statement was a joke or serious. AS far as McCutcheon goes, I generally assume that much of what he is saying (or writing) is bullshit, or to be fair, couched in Literary Licence.

As far as Paranoia goes, well, many of us don't really think anyone in particular is after us, and yet we choose not to sit with our backs to doors, continually scan rooms for means of quick and/or unnoticeable exit, and evaluate newcomers to our space for potential threat.

Maverick · Post by **Maverick** » Thu Dec 19, 2002 11:22 pm

Here's a question for you all, somwhat related to crazy people and Paranoia.

In past generations in which war was a matter of course, and the Draft a way of life, most young men had military experience. They participated in and saw things that were abhorrent, caused them to question the morals of the human race, but also developed alliances with those they learned that they could trust. For better or worse, they spent a lot of time contemplating how the guy next to them would react if and when a bomb dropped, or a charge of armed soldiers attempted to break through theitr lines. Again, for better or worse, they often had the chance to actually see how those people reacted. THey learned who they wanted to share foxholes with...whose life would be in their hands, and who would have their life in his hands. This level of trust, though inspired by experiences much better done without, is in many ways missing from our generation.

Who would I want to be with in a potentially dangerous situation? I guess I'm not really sure. What about everyone else?

Post by **mccutcheon** » Thu Dec 19, 2002 11:30 pm

I'd want to be with you. And that ain't no literary license.