This is for my grandma. She is 91 and has decided that she has had a good life and wants to let go of it now. I don't understand it because I love being alive. But she had four beautiful children, one of which is my favorite person on earth, my mother. The other three are pretty damned cool as well. And from them come children, me being one of them. And from us come more, K being one of them.
It's weird. I see this chain of people, each amazing in their own right. All so different that it's like a pie chart of every type.
I cry at the idea that she will no longer be in this world.
This woman raised me until I was 8, and in the scheme of things, it's not small. Sure it's a tiny percentage of most people's lives. But I think if my girl and how long she's been in mine. Only 9.
This woman had red hair. Curly, like K's. As long as I can remember, she's worn it in a towering butt-bun, coming together in this great big crack in the back where I never could imagine how much hairspray or how many pins would hold that thing up.
This woman potty trained me.
This woman taught me that moms (and grandmas) can talk for hours without being tired.
This woman passed me her green thumb.
This woman married a gambler who died as a result, and raised 4 children in a bad neighborhood in Los Angeles alone.
This woman did not hold a job until she was 59, happily so because my grandfather(who I've never met) would not allow for her to work.
This woman bought a 69 mustang when my uncle bought his and had my dad teach her to drive at the age of 61. She drove like a damned maniac, but I love the memory of police following us with lights flashing for two miles until she parked in front of our house.
This woman got my grandfather drunk so my mother could be, leading to me and my progeny... shrewd, she was.
I have a lot of love and respect for her and what she has done. Maybe the way to understand her choice of not fighting to live is this:
That she has lived a good life.
That maybe when I'm 91 and sick, I'll look at my life and see a good one.
And know that it's okay to go.
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Wow! What can you say to that?
That is so depressing and inspirational at the same time.
That is so depressing and inspirational at the same time.
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i also think it is very inspirational. what a life!
and not at all depressing to me.
it is a truism, but i think that to die well is an important part of having lived life well. it can be the hardest part, especially for us modern-age people.
animals know how to die well: they feel it coming, they stop eating, and they look for a comfortable and quiet place for their last hours. or think of Queequeq in Moby Dick and how he knew what to do when he felt death beckoning.
there's a certain dignity to it, which your grandma has, my dad also had and i hope to have too when the time comes. but probably i will fuck up and be terrorizing some nurse. oh well, as long as i don't end up like cobain or that masturbator from inxs...
and not at all depressing to me.
it is a truism, but i think that to die well is an important part of having lived life well. it can be the hardest part, especially for us modern-age people.
animals know how to die well: they feel it coming, they stop eating, and they look for a comfortable and quiet place for their last hours. or think of Queequeq in Moby Dick and how he knew what to do when he felt death beckoning.
there's a certain dignity to it, which your grandma has, my dad also had and i hope to have too when the time comes. but probably i will fuck up and be terrorizing some nurse. oh well, as long as i don't end up like cobain or that masturbator from inxs...
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Michael Hutchence is the rock God of Australia!
Hey Martino, don't knock it until you try it!
Hey Martino, don't knock it until you try it!
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INXS had two good albums. No actually...make that three. I can't knock 'em too hard.
I just think that anyone, by the time they reach 91 has the right to say "enough". I mean us being as young as we are we can't imagine what it's like to be in a 91 year old body and all that entails. It's nice to know you've lived a good life and I'm happy that for your grandmother this is true.
I just think that anyone, by the time they reach 91 has the right to say "enough". I mean us being as young as we are we can't imagine what it's like to be in a 91 year old body and all that entails. It's nice to know you've lived a good life and I'm happy that for your grandmother this is true.