Gas Station Hijinx
Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2001 1:09 am
Unleaded, $1.89 a gallon.
I unscrewed the cap from my gas tank and looked inside, not exactly sure what I was expecting to see. With gas prices this high, I suppose I thought I would see gold or silver liquid leaking out. I did not.
I pumped my tank full of the evil fluid. "Someone is making a fortune off this," I mused. "Time to make them pay."
I finished filling my tank and walked into the gas station. The clerk, his eyes glued to his magazine, barely looked up at me as I entered. He didn't notice the look of pure distress on my face, nor did he notice the lump under my jacket.
As I approached the counter, I began to have second thoughts. Immediately the voice in my head spoke up, as it had on so many other occasions just like this. "Don't fuck this up, you filthy SWINE!" it said. "We're counting on you, and anything less than total success will mean eternal damnation". I tried to protest, but I already knew that any effort to back out now would be my undoing. Terrified at this prospect, I continued on to the counter.
"20 bucks on pump four," I said. The clerk grunted and approached the cash register, the look on his face implying he was obviously not having a good night. Little did he know, his night was about to get a whole lot worse.
I pointed at some cough drops behind him. "Could I get some of those, too?"
The clerk turned around to grab the drops. As he did, I reached into my belt, smoothly and without effort, and pulled out the .50 caliber Desert Eagle with the full clip.
"I think I changed my mind," I said. Then, before the poor sap had time to even turn back around, I pointed the gun at the back of his head and pulled the trigger. 50 grains of lead was ejected from the gun and into the back of his skull. His head exploded in a furious mess of blood and bone. He twirled, the look of aggravation still etched on his face. He fell to the ground, his leg kicking.
I proceded to empty the remainder of the clip into him. By the time I was finished, the store was full of smoke and the strong smell of burning gunpowder. The clerk lay behind the counter, no longer recognizable as anything other than a bloody chunk of meat. My remaining bullets had been aimed at his face and chest, which were now mostly gone. Splashes of blood covered everything within a five foot radius, including me.
I stood, looking at what I had done, and felt a twinge of sexual satisfaction in my loins, like I had just blown a load into the woman of my dreams.
The voice in my head spoke. "Well done, well done". The voice was pleased. My soul was safe... until next time.
I wiped droplets of blood off my gun and stuck it back under my coat, and strolled out into the darkness, pleased not only with my actions, but also with the fact that I didn't have to pay for my gas.
-myxilplyc
I unscrewed the cap from my gas tank and looked inside, not exactly sure what I was expecting to see. With gas prices this high, I suppose I thought I would see gold or silver liquid leaking out. I did not.
I pumped my tank full of the evil fluid. "Someone is making a fortune off this," I mused. "Time to make them pay."
I finished filling my tank and walked into the gas station. The clerk, his eyes glued to his magazine, barely looked up at me as I entered. He didn't notice the look of pure distress on my face, nor did he notice the lump under my jacket.
As I approached the counter, I began to have second thoughts. Immediately the voice in my head spoke up, as it had on so many other occasions just like this. "Don't fuck this up, you filthy SWINE!" it said. "We're counting on you, and anything less than total success will mean eternal damnation". I tried to protest, but I already knew that any effort to back out now would be my undoing. Terrified at this prospect, I continued on to the counter.
"20 bucks on pump four," I said. The clerk grunted and approached the cash register, the look on his face implying he was obviously not having a good night. Little did he know, his night was about to get a whole lot worse.
I pointed at some cough drops behind him. "Could I get some of those, too?"
The clerk turned around to grab the drops. As he did, I reached into my belt, smoothly and without effort, and pulled out the .50 caliber Desert Eagle with the full clip.
"I think I changed my mind," I said. Then, before the poor sap had time to even turn back around, I pointed the gun at the back of his head and pulled the trigger. 50 grains of lead was ejected from the gun and into the back of his skull. His head exploded in a furious mess of blood and bone. He twirled, the look of aggravation still etched on his face. He fell to the ground, his leg kicking.
I proceded to empty the remainder of the clip into him. By the time I was finished, the store was full of smoke and the strong smell of burning gunpowder. The clerk lay behind the counter, no longer recognizable as anything other than a bloody chunk of meat. My remaining bullets had been aimed at his face and chest, which were now mostly gone. Splashes of blood covered everything within a five foot radius, including me.
I stood, looking at what I had done, and felt a twinge of sexual satisfaction in my loins, like I had just blown a load into the woman of my dreams.
The voice in my head spoke. "Well done, well done". The voice was pleased. My soul was safe... until next time.
I wiped droplets of blood off my gun and stuck it back under my coat, and strolled out into the darkness, pleased not only with my actions, but also with the fact that I didn't have to pay for my gas.
-myxilplyc