Bulletin Board of Bad Behavior

so J actually proposed with a (huge) ring during DJ spree's set at the rave in a cave ....

yup.

so there!

rave in a cave was good.

I might post pictures... if I can find some online.

http://www.phocas.net/gallery/displayim ... 32&pos=214
Well this is one of our friends ... he had a good time

pictures of the rest of the party can be found there.

http://www.phocas.net/gallery/displayim ... 32&pos=218
oh look there we are... red eye from hell ... I wonder where THAT came from...

Yes you said you had a ring! I remember that now can I see a picture PLEASE??

I can't believe how brilliant Wire are. Wire are my favourite band in the world right now - 4 tracks from "It's Beginning To And Back Again" have just changed my life. "German Shepherds" is my favourite. When this album came out I missed it entirely. My mind was on My Bloody Valentine when this came out or something like that. I can't bloody remember and as long as McC forgives me, I guess that's okay.

hmm I like My Blood Valentine....

I don't have any pictures of that right now... maybe when I get to my computer. just the party pictures.

... what the hell, it's 1.30 am and Ophra is on TV?!

Oh my god. Oprah. Where is Myke?

She always looks good on those magazine covers. hahha Well not always, but usually.

and i am still awake

congratulations that is something to celebrate. details.

i did not go to sleep . . . going to give more info to martino.

Wow.

He does look nice... and you make a good couple... but why not just live together?

You're not even out of college yet, are you?

Have you thought this thing through, young lady?

- Papa Sloth

papa sloth huh...

I just almost died choking on the diet coke I was reading laughing.

anyway yeah - as much as I am personally against marriage I have listed various reasons for getting married in my blog but our big ones are:
- Parental support (it might be nice; his are generally supportive but this makes them much happier with us living together: and it might make mine talk to me again, or it might not oh well.)
- Finances.
- It's an excuse to have a huge party, before we leave St. Louis. And if we at some point wanted to get married after we probably wouldn't know anybody here anymore and our families are not likely to be in a position to travel (and frankly mine just aren't willing)
- legal (thanks my lawyer; apprentely you cannot be *forced* into testifying against your spouse. This is important for people who's hobbies include political rallies, renegade parties and illegal raves, protests, hacking, and general shit-stirring.)

and they sound like pretty piss-poor arguments to me!

from experience, married at 20, divorced at 25, big waste of time in between, from your list of activities you like to do together, i see not the foundation for marriage.
With parental support in marriage you get only parental pressure to stay together.
Financially you have a better chance of getting screwed, me and my ex were both piss poor and in debt when we split.
Your benefits legally seem like a long shot and anyways there is always someone else to testify against you.
so, a lifetime committment for the sake of throwing a big party. that's your call...
I don't mean to piss on your parade, but somebody has got to.

pixie you are a funny girl.

i got married because i loved the guy. and honestly, this is what i told him last night he is the only guy i ever was involved with whose physical presence at some point in our relationship did not make me sort of grossed out. we're good friends and he is a great guy.

your list of reasons is interesting. at least you've got your own . . . it's your own life.

bfj is right about getting screwed financially, which if you love the person who cares, but i had no debt and the hubby had lots of debt so i aquired his and worked my ass off to not even knock a dent in it. i remember he'd call me from like spain and talk for thirty minutes then i'd get the phone bill and cry. when we almost divorced that became an issue. lots of things become issues when you almost divorce; at that point i was not feeling a lot of love for him. i was feeling a lot of resentment.

my advice, don't ever let things build up, get shit off your chest immediately, move on and forget about it asap or it will eat your relationship alive. always remember a couple of cliches: you're on the same team and you're in it together. he's the only person you'll choose to be your family and vice versa, that's something really special.

of course we love each other - but that's beside the point. I dont necessarily think love alone is something one ought to make a lifetime commitment.

Interestingly enough, statistics indicate that more problems occur in couples who have been living together previous to their engagement/marriage - it seems once people have lived together for so many years they simply get married by default; I personally think it's much better to decide to marry or not first.
and to base things on more than a desire to live together or whatever.

i am romantic. . . i did it all for the nookie.

i hope it works out for you "statistically" speaking. . .

I haven't yet taken a stand on this issue yet but I am now, and I'm with Martino, they seem like poor reasons. I know I've said it before but your parents are f***d up and if they won't even travel to see you get married, I mean...??? really just adds to the laundry list of things I can't fathom about them.
You can't straighten out their crookedness by getting married.

okay, so since some folks think pixie's list of reasons to get married aren't the best.

since pixie doesn't think my reason is the best

is anyone going to venture a list of the best reasons to get married?

i mean really what are they. . . i mean if the hubby has a heart attack i will get a buttload of money b/c of his job, but i just don't really see that as a plus of marriage.

i will start reasons i am glad i got and stayed married:

1. you like hanging out with that person more than hanging out with anyone else . . . you've been known to have fun with a pair of socks to entertain the two of you and nothing else.

2. it's fun to pick on them

3. the sex is good . . . the snuggling is better

4. they make you think about things in a different way -- you know they bring something to the table intellectually.

5. they know all of your worst qualities very well but love you anyway. and you know theirs.

6. they teach you things, like how to skip rocks

7. the thought of them not being around gives you that suffocating feeling in your chest like the day you realized your parents will eventually die.

8. you hope your kids get at least half their genes

9. there are things about them that you like so much but are impossible to explain to someone else

10. they don't believe in the word divorce

(other ideas are welcome! )

pixie, i think your guy sort of looks like one of the dudes from the kings of leon . . . you know, the one with the beard and long hair.