I have not been able to get into NYC in so long.
I'm still trying to get a move in date from the condo board. Work is hell-all of our planes flying every day-reports due, weather systems wreaking havoc on my flight routes....I have not gone to the gym in months. I haven't had sex in almost 2years...I haven't seen my friend Matt in ages...and miss him to death...the election has turned sour and now I am bitter and lonely and aged. Where have the hopeful days of youth gone? I was young then, thinking that life was taking a turn for the better..I could imagine a life lived without shame or fear....Now I'm 33 and shame and fear have returned. Religious right wing zealots taking over and America is the land of the free only for the select majority.
Love is love is love is love. And the hatred and condenmation toward it is beyond confusing. I feel anger and hatred, and I know in the end I am not much better. I understand the zealotry of the black panthers. I understand it-I feel it, yet I know it does no good.
Venting shall now cease.
Things are not as bad as they seem. Life will go on-love will prosper and forward thinking will prevail. We are better for wanting more-but need to realize that life has improved over the long run. Slow moving and frustrating as hell-but better each century. We want the inches to be feet, no-miles...but the push can not happen with the enormous drag that wishes to slow us down. It is physically impossible.
Missing you Matt. Hope to see you soon.
Let the Venting begin!
Let the Venting begin!
If I'm making any sense, then I haven't made myself clear.
venting shall not cease yet
i need it; everybody needs it. the election is a shock, a nitemare really, and we all need time to process this unbrave new world. before action comes introspection and reflection.
one of the best things about this bb is how it helps you to understand yourself, and change yourself, when you write about your alternative person to a sympathetic audience. at least, it works for me.
there is this pesky guy on this bb, i think his name is mykle, he is always shouting about how people should MOVE ON and how we must SUCK IT UP. to which i say: nuts. it's too early to move on, let's moan and groan and drink and be pathetic for a while, let's pretend we were at this funeral (even if it was merely dreams that died) and take time to sleep badly and think about it all.
one of the best things about this bb is how it helps you to understand yourself, and change yourself, when you write about your alternative person to a sympathetic audience. at least, it works for me.
there is this pesky guy on this bb, i think his name is mykle, he is always shouting about how people should MOVE ON and how we must SUCK IT UP. to which i say: nuts. it's too early to move on, let's moan and groan and drink and be pathetic for a while, let's pretend we were at this funeral (even if it was merely dreams that died) and take time to sleep badly and think about it all.
Martino, not to be pesky as I actually agree with you. I'm not always shouting but do sometimes as well as I'm passionate about what happened. I'm also angry, upset, and confused. I'm not sure where to go from here but I do want to find a way to move beyond. I fear if we don't do so relatively quickly the emboldened christian conservatives will take things even further to the right. The whole center to left populace is in disarray. What can be done? I'm honestly not sure. Trust me, for a gay man in the south who really, earnestly fears being to open, I need people to lean on as well. I need to get the hell out of dodge. I need comfort. I'm scared as hell letting to many people know to much for sheer fear of the violence and/or incrimination that might ensue. The only thing that keeps me from sinking to a full scale drunken oblivion that I might not drag my sorry ass out of is the hope that this nation has overcome bad, bad obstacles before so I gotta hope we can some how, some way, do it again. If not, what's the point in fighting for anything at all anymore.
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TragicPixie
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I agree with Martino - a period of mourning is entirely appropriate.
... and makes me think of the introduction to Their Eyes Were Watching God
"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men. Now, women forget all those things they don't want to remember, and remember everything they don't want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly."
... and makes me think of the introduction to Their Eyes Were Watching God
"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men. Now, women forget all those things they don't want to remember, and remember everything they don't want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly."
Lie to me, it takes less time to drink you pretty.
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Guest
At least we can all get back to not giving a fuck about Ohio
Thanks to Bill Maher for the tag line.
Today I faced up to the world and engaged with the Bushies face to face. Two young women who work in childcare at my gym gave me their take on why they voted for Bush. The short answer was that they said he was more "moral." Those who know me well would have been proud of me for the way I didn't go off on one at this point. They said that he would do the right thing on, "marriage, abortion and gays" I countered in very reasonable tones by asking about the line taken by the current administration with regards to the environment. I framed it around the fact that being in charge of the nation roughly responsible for a third of global polution whilst containing about a nineteenth of the population might upset other nations who have no choice but to breathe the same atmosphere. Evidence is mounting on all sides about the damage this is doing to the planet. (Much of which might be irreprable) I ended up by saying wasn't it morally wrong to dismantle all the apparatus that might help us understand the problem and then give an open hand to those we know who are doing the polluting.
I was wasting my time. These peopole were living in a world that was teetering on the brink of disaster. Gay people had almost won the right to obtain little bits of paper. I let it go with big smiles. I have to take my kids there most days. On the drive home I realised that whenever I think of evangelical republican voters in the abstract they are always middle aged. It occurred to me that there is quite a chunk of generation Y ? Z ? or are we back to A? that are already fully formed hardliners. (Remember the Churchill quote along the lines of, if a man isn't a liberal when he is young he has no heart) These are their liberal years.
Today I faced up to the world and engaged with the Bushies face to face. Two young women who work in childcare at my gym gave me their take on why they voted for Bush. The short answer was that they said he was more "moral." Those who know me well would have been proud of me for the way I didn't go off on one at this point. They said that he would do the right thing on, "marriage, abortion and gays" I countered in very reasonable tones by asking about the line taken by the current administration with regards to the environment. I framed it around the fact that being in charge of the nation roughly responsible for a third of global polution whilst containing about a nineteenth of the population might upset other nations who have no choice but to breathe the same atmosphere. Evidence is mounting on all sides about the damage this is doing to the planet. (Much of which might be irreprable) I ended up by saying wasn't it morally wrong to dismantle all the apparatus that might help us understand the problem and then give an open hand to those we know who are doing the polluting.
I was wasting my time. These peopole were living in a world that was teetering on the brink of disaster. Gay people had almost won the right to obtain little bits of paper. I let it go with big smiles. I have to take my kids there most days. On the drive home I realised that whenever I think of evangelical republican voters in the abstract they are always middle aged. It occurred to me that there is quite a chunk of generation Y ? Z ? or are we back to A? that are already fully formed hardliners. (Remember the Churchill quote along the lines of, if a man isn't a liberal when he is young he has no heart) These are their liberal years.
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Tommy Martyn
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TragicPixie
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You'd be suprised how many evangelical Christian/memeber of the Religious Right I know that are under 25.
Maybe I know more than my share going to a Catholic university - but I knew just as many growing up in a north county suburb of St. Louis.
It's scary - I always told myself that once I got out of highschool they'd see the real world and stop believeing everything mommy and daddy feeds them; I guess I was wrong.
Maybe I know more than my share going to a Catholic university - but I knew just as many growing up in a north county suburb of St. Louis.
It's scary - I always told myself that once I got out of highschool they'd see the real world and stop believeing everything mommy and daddy feeds them; I guess I was wrong.
Lie to me, it takes less time to drink you pretty.
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mccutcheon
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tommy, and myke
i have to concur with tommy's point about the gay marriage thing. this is what really drove the hicks to the polling stations in the swing states so massively. bush/rove straddled this issue in a masterly fashion: be more or less neutral on a national level but start anti-gay marriage initiatives on a state level.
does it mean that gavin newson lost the election? no, it means that the dems did their darndest to appear conservative in all issues except for this one, and they paid the price.
it reminds me of mcgovern in '72 saying he wouldn't mind legalizing pot: a sensible opinion but a loser's politics.
i have some really smart and sweet gay friends and enjoy reading andrew sullivan (at least ever since he tempered his belligerent slant). but nobody has been able to make me understand why gay marriage is so important. sure, marriage is better and nicer (for some) than a civil union. but is this issue more important than the war? more important than the future of the supreme court? more important than the environment? more important than the world economy? when you talk to any other semi-small interest group (unions, teachers, whatever) they will tell you that their rights are central, but it is the job of a political leader to make a responsible decision about this.
but i am open to discussion. tom, what do you say?
to myke: i have to thank you for your tempered and kind-spirited reaction to my offhand snide words.
does it mean that gavin newson lost the election? no, it means that the dems did their darndest to appear conservative in all issues except for this one, and they paid the price.
it reminds me of mcgovern in '72 saying he wouldn't mind legalizing pot: a sensible opinion but a loser's politics.
i have some really smart and sweet gay friends and enjoy reading andrew sullivan (at least ever since he tempered his belligerent slant). but nobody has been able to make me understand why gay marriage is so important. sure, marriage is better and nicer (for some) than a civil union. but is this issue more important than the war? more important than the future of the supreme court? more important than the environment? more important than the world economy? when you talk to any other semi-small interest group (unions, teachers, whatever) they will tell you that their rights are central, but it is the job of a political leader to make a responsible decision about this.
but i am open to discussion. tom, what do you say?
to myke: i have to thank you for your tempered and kind-spirited reaction to my offhand snide words.
And Martino you are also echoing the kinds of thoughts I've been happening about this gay marriage movement on the outskirts of everything else going on right now. I've been disturbed honestly once in the past when the local newspaper I read seemed to rate the gay marriage issue as pretty much the litmus test for candidates to vote for or not vote for. I'd never seen that sort of thing in this paper before, you know I've read what they had to say about candidates for years and this was the first time when I thought they'd really stepped over the line.
Gay people who think gay marriage is the most important issue upon which to vote for a candidate right now are extremely ignorant. When terrorism, the economy, the environment, the financially starved local and state governments, Bush AND the basic fundamental rights that the ACLU normally fights for are at stake, I'm sorry but gay marriage is WAY down there on the damn totem pole, okay? Gay people get married all the time. No one has STOPPED them. What matter will it be if everyone dies/starves to death whether gays can get legally married?
Okay I'm glad I got that out of my system, I really am. Thanks Martino.
Gay people who think gay marriage is the most important issue upon which to vote for a candidate right now are extremely ignorant. When terrorism, the economy, the environment, the financially starved local and state governments, Bush AND the basic fundamental rights that the ACLU normally fights for are at stake, I'm sorry but gay marriage is WAY down there on the damn totem pole, okay? Gay people get married all the time. No one has STOPPED them. What matter will it be if everyone dies/starves to death whether gays can get legally married?
Okay I'm glad I got that out of my system, I really am. Thanks Martino.
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TragicPixie
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Although I agree with Marky in that if you based your votes solely on gay marriage then you are stupid; and I'm not entirely sure why the issue has suddenly come up so strongly except for the fact that bans have been issued (like in Missouri for example; being the lovely septic tank it is!) against it. Fine, legaly it's not recongised and if you got married out of state it won't be recognised.
However, the implications of it - at least in practice, seem a little important. As they aren't legally recognised marriages your "spouse" isn't seen as your legal guardian/next of kin should you need one. So if you're a lesbian, and you've been in a horrible accident, and haven't had a realtionship with your parents in years due to your sexuality but you've since married a wonderful woman and started trying to have a family and etc. ... you're now lying comatose in a hospital room while the adminstration tries to contact your parents you haven't talked to in years and may or may not notify your wife and she certainly won't get any say in what happens to you...
Not to mention insurance policies and taxes breaks that married people get...
However, the implications of it - at least in practice, seem a little important. As they aren't legally recognised marriages your "spouse" isn't seen as your legal guardian/next of kin should you need one. So if you're a lesbian, and you've been in a horrible accident, and haven't had a realtionship with your parents in years due to your sexuality but you've since married a wonderful woman and started trying to have a family and etc. ... you're now lying comatose in a hospital room while the adminstration tries to contact your parents you haven't talked to in years and may or may not notify your wife and she certainly won't get any say in what happens to you...
Not to mention insurance policies and taxes breaks that married people get...
Lie to me, it takes less time to drink you pretty.
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mccutcheon
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Pixie:Call me I want to marry you and you can keep your top on.
Marry: Remember when we used to make out?
Martino: Kyle is visitn g and wouldn't it be great to have us all in NYC having a fun time?
Sloth: You are in Texas and knows what is going on.
Who am I? I;m shit. I'm the person who said to the girl with drugs last night that id she gave the rest of them I would lick her pussy for an hour. Am I now a posititue? I got the drugs by the way.
Marry: Remember when we used to make out?
Martino: Kyle is visitn g and wouldn't it be great to have us all in NYC having a fun time?
Sloth: You are in Texas and knows what is going on.
Who am I? I;m shit. I'm the person who said to the girl with drugs last night that id she gave the rest of them I would lick her pussy for an hour. Am I now a posititue? I got the drugs by the way.