The Honest Truth

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 1:41 am

So I always thought the truth was the way to go. I mean, of course, I tell little white lies to avoid hurting people's feelings, but in general I thought telling the truth was the honorable thing to do. And if this was the case, if I was going to be honest and direct with people I thought I could basically get along with people. I'm learning that is wrong. I'm learning that telling a girl who is interested in you that you Ã¢â‚¬Ëœjust want to be friends' is a kiss of death. If a woman scorned goes on a vengeance, one who is put off by the friends' thing is also something to reckon with. To me it seems girls are always telling us guys they want to be friends. Girls love friends. I see a double standard here.

Now isn't this great, little old McCutcheon boo-hooing the fact that girls are attracted to him. I know there are hordes of punters out there that can't even get a girl to kiss them- sad blokes crying in their beers. I'm not much different, really. I am lonely in a crowded room. Feeling distant while trying to communicate. One of my favorite lines from Luna is- Ã¢â‚¬ËœI had to get drunk just to look at your face.' I know this is a problem Dean and me both have- How to have a sober relationship with people? I mean I'm all right during the day. I work, play, eat, sleep and all of it. I just don't know how to get mentally close with intimacy. I have found out most people are unique just like me. The biggest dating cliché I have ever heard (and I hear this from every girl I know) is Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm really picky.Ã¢â‚¬?

Everyone I know is picky, except for maybe Lina, and she is Swedish so it doesn't count. So how do we have human relationships? We tell the truth. If we are not attracted to someone, if the spark isn't there you tell him or her, with a hint of decorum before feelings get hurt. And you know what they'll tell you. Ã¢â‚¬Å“But I like you, and I'm really picky.Ã¢â‚¬? Meaning you better damn well, sure as hell, tell them you like them too. If not they claim you must be gay, even though you know deep down you are far from happy.

I have had it turned on me many times. You see I'm really picky, so when I do meet that special someone they just gotta like me back, no? That should actually be in French. Non?

Oh the confusion. It's the way the human heart works. We can't define attraction, but we sure know it when we feel it. I give people chances, and I'm too much of a romantic to think I'll never be in a relationship again. But I have been in two relationships in the last couple of years, and I was in love, I was madly, devotedly in love. And it all went wrong for reasons both in and out of my control. So now the last thing in the world I want is a girlfriend. And at the same time I am saving myself for someone I hope is out there that I haven't even met yet. So when I do meet this mystery girl I will be ready and she will love me. I hope this takes place in Paris. Is this romantic or just insane? And in reality I get another day older and closer to death, all alone.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 1:55 am

I swear this is the honest truth. Right after I'm done posting my latest ramble above I check my email and this letter was waiting for me from my girl friend. Not girlfriend, but as in a girl who is my good friend. This is what she wrote, though I'm leaving her name off because she will already be pissed enough when she sees I posted this........

Hey sweetie pie!

Well, this has got to be the shortest stint as "girlfriend" I've ever had. Now, I figure that honesty is the best thing, is that wrong?

I feel like such a dope right now. Not like that isn't becoming a usual occurrance. See, Bret was all hot and bothered and sweet for some time, and now that he can call me his girl, all of the sudden, I'm on the backburner. I, being the stupid fool that I am, decided that I had to speak out when something bothered me and he totally took the defensive route. Is there something unclear about " I just want you to know that if this isn't working for you, let me know, okay?" I suppose I should ask if, as a man, there's something wrong with that. Is there??? Because he was pissed that I'd even suggested that he was not into me anymore. I wasn't mad, mind you. I just was laying it out for future reference that if, at any time, he changed his mind... that's okay. Just keep me informed so I don't have to sit around and wonder. But he said that what I said was "lame" and HE was mad that I'd suggested he'd change his mind. Fuck. I don't know what to think aside from dating stinks, and until I find the sparky type thing, I should leave it alone. Shit. I have to get ready for the movies now.

I hope you had a good day yesterday and thank you for rubbing my feet the other night. By the way... I tried to watch that awful movie some more, and it was even more offensively worse than the little bit that we saw. Never, EVER watch it.

xo

fur · Post by **fur** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 4:36 am

Well besides the first line of that letter it makes no sense to the rest of us without more background. As for being picky, there isn't anything wrong with that. Too many people settle because they don't think enough of themselves, and believe that they'll never have more than one person in their lifetime who cares deeply for them, and so they latch on to the first one. So by all means, be picky. Its insulting to the other person if your not.

I think the 'Just friends' thing is just as hard for either person. One ends up dissapointed w/ hurt feelings and/or pride and the other one just feels like an asshole. I've been on both sides, but typically I do think men end up on the asshole side more because they are more likely to make the first move than a girl is. And so they get that oh so famous line more often than we do.

fur
p.s. I have a stick if you need one to fight of the hordes of women...

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 4:40 am

See the hot bit of toddy in the upper left corner with the fag between her lips and shades? That's my lovely Lina.

sarah · Post by **sarah** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 6:58 pm

Picky -- does that mean having a list and checking it twice because I used to have this list, and then I met a man who met every single mental criteria I had, and he was good, no great, in bed; I was so in love with him that it hurt everyday; it was incredibly passionate. Once he brought me a six pack of beer and a composition book and said, "We're not going out tonight; we're staying in to write poetry together." Holy shit -- I thought it doesn't get better than this, but it did -- I left him and married my old dear friend who sometimes made my skin crawl --and I'm happy and full. He never comes home wanting to write poetry, but he reads mine and smiles.
Love is a choice and not trying to sound like a guidance counselor, but the best choice is the person who makes you smile. Smiling in the long run does more for my spirit than the best set a butterflies in my stomach.
And I've met men since who gave me butterflies, but none who make me smile from my tummy to my lips.
We value the same thing, and that thing is us. Tastes, appearances, for me those things are as transient as a sweater I wore two years ago. I've said to the hubby, and I mean it, "I could live in a trailer court and eat beenie weenies out of a can for the rest of my life and be happy if you're there." That's the truth.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 7:40 pm

Well if that's the truth no wonder you got married so young. Good for you. What the hell are beenie weenies? And do you buy them at a sex shop?

sarah · Post by **sarah** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 9:25 pm

I swear to God you make me laugh.

Franks and beans -- Disgusting little hot dogs and beans in a can. No, I hope you don't get them at a sex shop. Although that could be interesting.

I just finished watching The Girl on The Bridge -- watch it. Vanessa Paradis is beautiful, and the movie too.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Nov 24, 2001 10:23 pm

Saw that film. Yeah, Miss Depp is hot. I used to get falfal down the street from where I lived on rue des Rosies, Paris- and her and Lenny K used to walk in both wearing see through mesh shirts. I always stayed for desert.

Oh Frank & Beans! I saw Something About Mary!

Kyle · Post by **Kyle** » Sun Nov 25, 2001 2:31 am

it was called "L'As du Falafel" and yes it was awesome. It was great because they put on a spicy "Sauce Piquante", a white yogurty "Sauce Blanche" and fried eggplant. Those three things, and the fact that I used to get one on my way to the Place des Vosges to read my stolen book of Rilke poems, will always make it my favorite falafel in the entire world. My Dream Falafel. Now I still eat falafel here in the states and I haven't found one as good, but I still keep trying to find the perfect falafel. It is a luxury to know what it is that makes you happy. In matters of falafel, as in matter of love, one must be "picky", greedy, and selfish when deciding what you want. "Good enough" is not good enough. The alternative is walking around life in a lukewarm, soulless trance. I would never trade in all the shitty falafel I've had in my life, for those few times walking along the Seine, when I bit into eggplant and chick peas and screamed "This is the best Fucking Falafel in the World!"

rabbit · Post by **rabbit** » Sun Nov 25, 2001 3:16 am

sometimes... i think the truth hurts more than lies. lies work wonders but true, there is no honor. but then isnt it kinda fun?

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sun Nov 25, 2001 6:24 am

Kyle, you said you WOULDN'T trade all the rest of them in....did I read that right?

sarah · Post by **sarah** » Sun Nov 25, 2001 7:14 am

Kyle are you saying you wouldn't trade in the bad falafels because they helped you realize the greatness of the really fabulous ones?

Because how can you truly appreciate great falafel if you've never had mediocre falafel, and if you've never had it all -- well then you're just out of luck.

I've never even heard of falafel, but I'm a traveler who is more of a tourist than a traveler.

So that puts me back in the category of using beenie weenies in my food metaphors.
And I can honestly say if you've dipped your spoon in that can you won't go back for more --there is no good, bad, or mediocre; there's only disgusting.

Unless of course you are married and starving, and it's that or nothing; and then disgusting or not, you lower your already weak, sad standards and you laugh really hard at yourself.

Kyle · Post by **Kyle** » Sun Nov 25, 2001 9:27 pm

yeah. I wouldn't trade them in.

My point being that if some big Falafel god came up to me and said "Kyle, I'll erase the 100 horrible falafel experiences you've had in your life, but in exchange you've got to give up those 2 great falafels you had in the Marais." I'd say no deal.

I so love the peaks in life, I'm willing to endure lots of valleys. It's not enough to be content. The goal is to find something/someone you love, not give up until you find it, and be willing to endure setbacks in the pursuit of it.

This is why knowing what makes you happy (or being picky) is a luxury in life. It makes all your choices in life clear, not necessarily easy, but clear.

[This message has been edited by Kyle (edited 11-25-2001).]

Kyle · Post by **Kyle** » Sun Nov 25, 2001 9:37 pm

sarah:

"Falafel is a vegetarian dish which in one form or another is as old as civilization itself. Falafel's main ingredient is the chick-pea, also known as garbanzo bean. Falafel is nutritious, rich in protein and vitamins. The chick-peas are ground and then mixed with a blend of exotic spices and herbs. Seasoning varies widely from one place to another.

The falafel mix is formed into balls which are quick-fried in canola oil. The crunchy crust prevents the oil from penetrating and being absorbed, thus minimizing the fat calories.

Once you chomp through the inviting crust, you will find the inside soft and very tasty. Falafel is cholesterol free, and rich in fiber.

Stuffed into a freshly baked warm pita, layered with crisp garden vegetables and topped with savory sesame sauce (tahini), the falafel sandwich is indeed a gastronomic celebration."

A gastronomic celebration, my friend, this is what I seek.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sun Nov 25, 2001 9:53 pm

My mouth is watering. Wish I was biting into one right now. I ate there at least twice a week, only lived a few blocks away (I know Paris doesn't have blocks, but give me some slack Kyle)I was on rue montmoernsy.

Where was your fav crepe place?

The Boxing Day party is ON! Fondue me, fondue you. I talked to the girls in NYC and they are coming, as well as friends from other places in this world.