Bulletin Board of Bad Behavior

my favorite human being on earth tried to hang herself from her bedroom light fixture a few months ago.
For Christmas, we got some cutting.
What's next?
anorexia?
bulimia?
guns, knives, flames?
drugs,
selling herself on the street?
I don't know what to do.

this better not be Kelse!

Call me right now. 917.337.1659!

thanks for the talk, sir.

oh, god h.

i'm so sorry.

cutting is huge right now -- especially with emo and goth kids, it's a trend, it was explained to me by a friend of mine who self mutilated for a while -- they want the physical pain to replace the emotional, that's what he told me. he stopped. he started writing. i don't know how he is now. i often think about it.

jeez, i wish could talk to her.

i'm so sorry. i know god, i really do.

look the best advice i've ever had on what to do in these situations -- and it's all i got for the kids i work with too, is get involved in doing something you love.

sounds cheesy as hell, but i don't care. my kids who are involved in stuff don't do this to themselves.

with a few exceptions. there was one exception.

but i can give you a list of a bunch of different things that she can get involved in.

if you think it'll help.

and also always every day all the time every second they need to know you love them

and

that it's okay

it doesn't matter -- none of it ever matters except that.

things for kids that are a little different and like the dark:

Teen Ink -- totally produced by kids -- art reviews, poetry articles, etc. it's great.

http://teenink.com/

TIM BURTON!! They've made his movies into books -- go to hot topic
Roald Dahl -- always loved, always
Shel Silverstein -- always loved, always, he can even talk to her via cd

Roman Dirge -- The Cat With the Really Big Head -- all the elanore stuff
Dave Eggers -- Best Non Required Reading (partially edited by kids -- there is / was a place where they can work in San Fran on this, don't know if it's still there)
Paint Me Like I Am -- written by kids edited by Nikki Giovanni

great book to help kids understand the impact of their life on everyone:
bronx masqerade by nikki grimes


books about strong women: sonja sanchez -- anything (for you, mom, not her but maybe i mean who knows)

fun things kids do for free: art / art shows
all ages clubs

(these are great, there is a fantastic guy in our town who promotes these things for the kids and others, they closed the one place down, he opened another.)

you've got to find out though what's her things, these are things that the kids here have liked, things that have helped them feel connected.

and the biggest thing i think of is that she knows you care. how do i know the kids here like this stuff -- i talk to them, i care.

every single one of them is different, that i know for sure.

if it is k, then i feel horrible for myself, but much much more for you and for her.

after that one evening i can say she is for sure amongst the sweetest persons i ever had the pleasure to meet.

if you would like to talk say so i and i will call, any time you want.

and i have to say. i really hope whoever this person is doesn't know you post here. because people when they go through something like this don't usually enjoy having private things like that they've done discussed, they just don't.

so i would hope, with all my heart, that whoever has done something to hurt himself/herself would have a person in his/her life who respects a bond called trust

it is extremely important to a lot of people, not just kids.

i will never understand why people who have each others emails don't use them to discuss things like this.

but i don't make bbs or blogs or these publicizers of human tragedy and i don't know the folks who do, so i guess it's just different. i dunno.

hope she's well and has someone in her life she can trust.

i hope you're all always well.

March of the penguins:


Each winter, alone in the pitiless ice deserts of Antarctica, deep in the most inhospitable terrain on Earth, a truly remarkable journey takes place as it has done for millennia. Emperor penguins in their thousands abandon the deep blue security of their ocean home and clamber onto the frozen ice to begin their long journey into a region so bleak, so extreme, it supports no other wildlife at this time of year. In single file, the penguins march blinded by blizzards, buffeted by gale force winds. Guided by instinct, by the otherworldly radiance of the Southern Cross, they head unerringly for their traditional breeding ground where--after a ritual courtship of intricate dances and delicate maneuvering, accompanied by a cacophony of ecstatic song--they will pair off into monogamous couples and mate. The females remain long enough only to lay a single egg. Once this is accomplished, exhausted by weeks without nourishment, they begin their return journey across the ice-field to the fish-filled seas. The male emperors are left behind to guard and hatch the precious eggs, which they cradle at all times on top of their feet. After two long months during which the males eat nothing, the eggs begin to hatch. Once they have emerged into their ghostly white new world, the chicks can not survive for long on their fathers' limited food reserves. If their mothers are late returning from the ocean with food, the newly-hatched young will die. Once the families are reunited, the roles reverse, the mothers remaining with their new young while their mates head, exhausted and starved, for the sea, and food. While the adults fish, the chicks face the ever-present threat of attack by prowling giant petrels. As the weather grows warmer and the ice floes finally begin to crack and melt, the adults will repeat their arduous journey countless times, marching many hundreds of miles over some of the most treacherous territory on Earth, until the chicks are ready to take their first faltering dive into the deep blue waters of the Antarctic."

h., McCutcheon told me about this a few days ago, but I wasn't able to respond until now. I was so sorry to hear about it, and hope that you and she will get all the help you both need to come through it. You definitely have all the good thoughts and support of the PA crew, and my personal thoughts too.

I believe that someone as special, smart and good as k. will be ok, and that your love will help her, even if it seems like it isn't.

Again, I was so sorry to hear that this happenned, and sincerely hope nothing like it ever happens again.