Bulletin Board of Bad Behavior

So nobody loves me - no, worse yet, he shouldn't and does and I still love him

but I cant' be who he wants/needs me to so I can't allow this to go on right...

but hey MC ... at least I'm not knocked up and therefore won't get any fatter. (nevermind have one of those child things)

I cant' be who he wants/needs me to so I can't allow this to go on right

right

easier said than done apparently....


but I do need someone more like me. and I can't help that I definately fell for this guy I met at a party can I? I can't help that I connect to him better than I connect to Dave right? It's really not my fault... but it is.

The only thing I like more than gossip about a love affair is gossip about a love affair gone wrong. I really don't know enough about the following:

1) you

2) him

3) sex with the phone ringing guy

4) sex in general - if the survey is anything to go by

5) or love, come to think aobut it

But that won't stop me weighing in with a load of half baked notions,forged from the white heat of experience and/or those quizzes you get in mags like cosmopolitan.

lol ok: but first (though maybe this belongs in pub talk) I just almost died. As I was typing and attempting to eat half of a bagel, I managed to flip my chair over backwards - taking the drawer out of my desk with me. Thank the gods I have the organisational skills of an eight-year-old and was saved from death by the piles of clean clothes, dirty clothes, random books, papers, and notebooks!! I am so-not-drunk (or high); too bad my roommate doesn't have a camera or one of those camera phones because I admit, it was hilarious. Of all the pictures of me that could have appeared on STL raver lately that would have been one I wouldn't mind!

Anyway: long distance realtionships suck. They suck even more when you have trouble connecting with the person in person because well... we're just two different people. He wants a wife... I am not (apparently) a wife sort of girl. He wants like five kids: I am so fucking irresponsible I can't keep a plant alive. At one point I was (or thought I was) okay with this but then again; I'm not. Not now at least.

Anyway - so onto sex with the phone ringing guy. I think I should stop going to parties because I met him at a party. Strangely, he is one of hte most interesting, intriguing, and intelligent people I've ever met (even now a month later and having encountered him while not rolling). So there's chemistry or something and a really good connection otherwise as well - perfect example we were talking about something and somehow that probably only made sense to me (and to him strangely) we got on the subject of Ophelia... not to mention as we were making out, we ended up talking about books (extra nerd as my roommate would say). I dunno... I told him I was taken and that hurt him (apparnetly; he was actually there when dave broke up with me and was nice enough to let me ramble and cry and listen to me and try to make sure I was ok... oh yeah and buy me alcohol) but he decided that it would be better to be just friends and whatever...
So we end up hanging out a lot having amazing conversations and eventualy one thing led to another and I swear... it wasn't planned. So there ya go.

Oh yeah - and despite having nothing to do with it, he went with me to get a pregnancy test and stayed around while I took it because of some random shit that a board frequented by boys doesn't really wanna know about: but after explaining the symptoms to my dr all she said was to take a pregnancy test and call her back. I am not preggers - this at least makes me happy; the breakup on the other hand makes me not so happy.

I did pretty much cheat on Dave. I didn't mean to but I understand this is all my fault and I'm a bitch and whatnot. I do feel bad; I do love him... but then again, I'm not the person he needs or wants me to be so... it's unfair to be with him and drag thigns out longer because I feel indebted to him and because he's the only one who loves me...

so now no one loves me. Fuck!

Pixie I just don't see the dillema. It sounds like you met a really great guy that interests you. And yes you have this fiancee, in england, but that relationship just doesn't seem feasible. It sounds like the only way to make it work is for you to marry him so you can live there and I know for fact you are too young to get married. (I've done it myself) At 19/20/21 you should still be exploring relationships with other people and keeping your eyes open. Fairytale romances are what you dream them to be. They are not based in reality... and keep going to parties.

tragic

I was such a dumbass when I got married. I am still a dumbass. I don't want kids either. That's huge! HUGE! and it will cause HUGE problems (maybe) that's been my experience.

Look if you know it isn't working it isn't.

I can say that this I agree with about marriage and relationships in general. I think Benjamin Franklin said it, turkey lover that he was, I think he said, "Keep your eyes wide open before you're married, and closed shut afterwards." That's solid advice, in my opinion.

I did not however I take it at any point in my relationship -- thus you end up with Eyes Wide Shut (you know two people who are pretty much just left screwing each other) It's not love, in my opinion

There is absolutely nothing wrong with ending a relationship!! (However there are lots of things that can go wrong when ending a relationship)

Does this mean you're not going to Coventry?

Fuck if I know: oh but I stand corrected.

I WAS in fact preggers... and had a miscarriage. Which despite my own shock and horror at the idea of children - is depressing nonetheless.

Look,

you can get drunk and get high; shag who you like when you like, but unprotected sex.......I don't even do that with my wife.

but I don't have unprotected sex... you could get something... like a child or worse ...

I was wrong about the quote. Ben was so much smarter than I am. He said, Keep yours eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards. Either way.

I'm sorry about your miscarriage. That is absolutely horrible.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease

I'm sorry to hear that Pixie. I see how it could be depressing even though you don't want a kid. But I agree with Burnt...keep going to parties, meeting interesting people, and enjoying your life. That goes for all of us.

the Mav always goes to parties!!!! He is a wild and crazy guy. That is why we love him. Tom said, Vicodin is for lovers. He is right. I say that love lasts about as long as a Vicodin high.