Bulletin Board of Bad Behavior

I saw the person I am going to marry yesterday.

They don't know it yet. But I will.
And when we get married-I'll play 'by your side'/Sade. (the most under-rated pop song about love)

Ok-back to reality.

I really did see someone. But I don't know if they are dating the person I saw them with. (who is an old friend from St Louis).

I walked around the East Village for hours. Eating at a few restaurants. (I like eating at bars by myself). Buying $300.00 worth of records at Satellite and A-1. (Cutch-I hope you are not buying vinyl at Kim's. It is great for video rentals-but way overpriced for anything else). Sitting on brownstone steps watching the world go by. Composing songs in my head as I walked block after block.

Walking the streets of NYC is the best cure for what ails ya.

I do not believe in fate...but my overactive romantic imagination wants to believe that last night was. Getting delayed at A-1 records because I stumbled upon a unopened copy of Sheila E's 'glamourous life-Part I and II'-the part II being an incredible dub....(Look-I'm gay and I like drums...what can I say???). Turning the wrong corner thinking I was heading north-stopping and then literally bumping into this old friend from another state and another time.....

They had to be someplace else- and the whole thing lasted for 5minutes -but I'm sure I stared for hours at his friend and his eyes bluer than mine.

I know the feeling was mutual. The attraction undeniable. The availability-questionable. But I will find out. And if this falls the wayside? I'll keep walking the East Village streets until the next one turns the corner.

lots of Lou Reed (solo), Smiths (Queen is dead...I really don't have ANY of their stuff on vinyl), Dylan, Simone, New Order, and a whole lot more...

it was a great day.

But STILL have not found any 12" Primal Scream or Happy Mondays. And the most elusive of all-my boy Ian Curtis.

It must be love, Tom...your post about it was very poetic.

...and that was a compliment...

Sounds like a good day Tom. Miss you tonight.

Ian is my Boy.

But I am Tom's boy.

Thanks for clearing that up Ian.

Guess that settles it Cutch..

In other news-I just found THIS 12" online-



Malcolm McLaren 'Paris'.I bought the CD at the Virgin megastore on the Champs d'Elysee in 1993..along with my first Nina Simone CD. Brings back some great memories.

And I just found out that my run-in is single.

Small coincidences... my mum flew in yesterday and along with several tons of english chocolate,she gave me acopy of "Touching from a distance" The book written by the widow of Ian Curtis. The cover of which uses the same photograph as above. (I hadn't asked for it and mum is 65 years old. I thought this was quite a cool present.)

I don't go for musical bios, but what a shocker. Who knew that Ian Curtis was such a fucking cunt? I almost found myself wishing for the bit where he tops himself so the world can get a rest from his selfish antics. Could you imagine what it would have been like if he hadn't had the musical talent? He wouldn't have lived long enough to commit suicide.

The book threw out a few laughs. I thought all of England runs out into the street a few minutes before new year and then runs back in again. Apparently this only happens in Liverpool.

The book has a few pictures in it. One of them is a gig list from Eric's in Liverpool for Nov/Dec 1979. It cost me 1 pound ten pence to see Joy Division and then on 22 dec for the same fee I saw the teardrop explodes and echo and the bunnymen on a double bill. Because we were underage these were matinee shows. I am proud to report that after seeing the bunnymen I got on a bus to a party and made the beast with two backs for the very first time. (Her name was Annie Hall - just like the movie. Except she lived in a council house.) And I got drunk and I was home before midnight.

Two bands, one shag and a night on the ale for under five dollars. Those were the days my friends.

Being on this board and writing about parents reminded me of something I should have mentioned a long time ago. Mav, before I left Seattle I got to meet your mum and dad. I think I forgot to tell you that it struck me how much they were proud of you. Not in any boasting fashion. I distinctly remember getting the feeling that they thought that you were just the best son anybody could wish for. Your dad openly mentioned that they thought they had been blessed to get you. I know that I am the sentimental parent on this board but I thought it was very cool then and I think it even more wonderful now.

Right on, Mav's mum and dad.

How bad was Ian Curtis....well let his wife Deborah tell us.

She has just come home from the hospital after giving birth to their baby Natalie. Ian refuses to look after the kid.

"Instead I had to look after both of them single-handedly. At times this was both infuriating and tiring. Ian expected his evening meal to be ready when he came home from work and if Natalie was crying he would not even hold her while I dished out the food. To some extent I felt he was demanding his turn for attention from me, like a jealous child. During this period the only enjoyment I recieved was when my imaginary brother Tommy came round and punched his face in and told him to grow up. And then punched his face in again."

OK, I made up that last bit

Thanks Tommy...parents can be a good thing...sometimes we forget that amidst the trauma they often bring. At heart, most of them mean the best. I'm sure they'll be happy to have had a mention on Paxacidus. Not bad for a couple of people in their 70's from New Jersey...

'Why are most artists assholes?'

-A dissertation by Tom Stewart

Jeez..Ian does sound like a prick.

Mav-did you grow up in Jersey-or just your parents?

Either way-you need to come to the e.coast for a visit.

Oh-and the original meaning of this thread is dead.
My heart was a flutter and now it's little hummingbird heart has stopped fluttering.

He's as crazy as a fucking loon. Or so I heard from someone who's opinion I trust. Leave it to me to love the nut jobs. Maybe that priest from Ireland who likes to tackle olympic runners is available.

I found a reason to love the Garden State.

What the hell is a loon anyway?

And why do I resort to cliche's who's meaning I know not?

Cutch-
I am happy to hear you say that.

I hope that this is more than just the one night.

Because I saw more than that.

Enough to make me so happy that I almost cried on the drive home. Or was it Ryan's 'wonderwall' that begged for them to come down?

Arms and legs entangled. Fuck and suck and laugh and hold and warm embrace.

There was laughter filling that room (and other things I will not mention). The ease in conversation, the comfort with which your bodies lay. I was so happy for you that I bordered on tears. Because who wouldn't want that? I am waiting on what you have. HAVE. There is much to be happy about RIGHT NOW. Screw the past and fuck the present. The artist needs not suffer. And try it sober sometimes. THAT's the guy she will fall in love with.

Now can we find ME someone so I don't always have to fall asleep on your bare ass wood floor with a kleenex tissue for a sheet?

Jesus...it IS all about me after all.