To steal a keg

[rabbit]

Daily and I were out in Arizona visiting Morgan. After a long drive and a bad nights sleep, we had to find a party to go to. Aaron, one of Morgan's buddies found us a party to crash, so we hit the party around 9:30 ready to drink some beer. We get there and there is no one there. The few people that are there are sitting on the couch playing Playstation 2. Daily and I decide to go have a smoke out back. Smoking my last cigarette I told Daily we should go out and get some more. He agrees so we find the host and let him know that we will be back so we don't have to pay 5 bucks to get in his party. Joey, the host (which is a fat, white guy with bad acne), says that's cool and asked us to get some ice for the keg. "I'll get ya back for the ice when you guys come back." Ok, cool, no problem, 10 bags of ice and some smokes. I think I can remember that. So Daily and I leave the party and find the closest gas station. We buy some cigs and ice and steal 2 bags of ice. Don't know why we did, but it was funny. We head back to the party and theres more cars there. I back into the drive way cos my trunk is full of ice. Daily and I start bringing it in and we then proceed to find the host for our money. (Note: We aren't hardasses or anything but it's just the point of it. We were broke going out there anyways.) I notice the DJ PLAYING records, I just kinda chuckle and think of McCutcheon and how much I really enjoy Erect Areola. So that completely turned me off to even bother listening to this guy so we head outside to find Joey. He is nowhere to be found. After searching a bit more I see him out by the pool on the otherside of the backyard. He asked how much it was and I just told him 10 bucks. He looks at me like, "Damn, well I'm gonna have to make more money tonight before I pay you back." I was pissed. I decide to just cool off because I am at this guy's house and I really don't know what I can get away with. I find Daily and tell him about the situation. Instantly, he's fuming. He goes off and finds our lovely host and just starts going off on him. Morgan and I are just watching him at work. It's beautiful really. Joey quickly gets a scared look and just walks off with some big guy following him. How cute. I told Daily not to worry. I'm gonna steal the keg for Morgan as a going away gift. Aaron who found this party to begin with, has introduced Daily to a lovely little lady who makes him completely forget about the issue at hand. Morgan and I were just looking at him. "He's gone." "Yep." I reply. She was the hottest girl at this party. You have to realize the girl to guy ratio was about 1:15 and most were fat or just plain bitchy. Not a good night for the Texas boys. Well the party is in full swing and there are probably about 200 people at this pathetic excuse for a kegger. I walk around and poke around with Andy inside. Joey asks Andy not to smoke in the house and Andy just drops the cigarette butt and grinds it into the white carpet under his military issue boots. Andy just proceeds to walk off. Joey just stands there, dumbfounded and just looks at me. I shrug and light up. I wander back outside and find Daily just chatting away with his hot find. I go and tap the keg and its dry. "Damn, bout time." I thought to myself. Andy decides to go buy a 30 pack, so I give him a few bucks and swap phone numbers. 5 minutes after he leaves a fight breaks out on the patio. The time was perfect, I grab the keg and pick it up. It's heavier than I thought. I walk around the to the front of the house and through the front gate. I'm clear! Just as I'm putting it in my trunk, the DJ (if you want to call him that) and his groupies come outside to load up his gear. One guy who is much worse off than I yells, "Dude! you gonna get that filled?" I look at him with a grin, "Um yeah, where do I go?" He just looks at me like he knows something is wrong with the picture. I start to panic. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. My phone rings, it's Andy. "Hey, I got the beer, what street do I turn on?" "Shangri La" I reply. "Cool, oh, I see it. Later." I turn my attention back to Mr. Blonde Trendy asshole and say matter of factly, "Fuck this, more beer is on the way." He screams, "Hell yeah, fuck that dude!" I pull the keg from my trunk and set it just behind the gate, pissed more than ever. I walk back to where the fight was and it seems to have dissapated. "Crazy Dave" is drunk as hell. I grab two beers out of a nearby cooler. I throw one into the pool, he strips and dives in naked after it. Good entertainment for a 10 minutes while I replan the keg-napping. My phone rings. It's Morgan's wife, Nikki, who needs the keys to the studio because one of her friends is drunk and just crying a river for her boyfriend. I find Morgan and let him know what's going on and we walk around front to meet her. 10 minutes later she arrives at the party. Just as we get up front, Andy asks us to come back to the living room where a real fight has just started. We decline and decide how this is going down. 5 minutes of a small board meeting, I told them, "I'll take Nikki and the keg back to the studio. When we get there, I'll call you. Here is my phone. Just get everyone out of here. Don't know what will happen when they discover the keg is missing." Morgan looks at me and in his signature rock-star voice, "rock 'n roll" I tell Nikki to watch the front door while I grab the keg. I throw it in the trunk and slam the deck lid. We hop in and take off leaving a cloud of white smoke. "Gotta love the smell of Pirellis." She starts laughing and I just bust out laughing while we worry about the 3 others we left at the party. As soon as we got back to the studio, I call Morgan and ask him the current situation. "Everything is cool, no one has even noticed." "Cool, well get everyone out of there and let's have a beer when you get here." "Right on." 20 minutes later, they arrive back at the studio minus Daily. "What the hell happened to him?" I ask in a very concerned voice. "Oh, he went home with that one girl...."

i just thought id add one of my personal faves