irony is bullshit

[martino]

what is it with irony? who needs it? I have been reading the newest books by Catherine Millet and Houllebecq (granted, neither are very good) but they do manage to put their various points across without resorting to the cowardly device of irony.

as i remember it -- too lazy to look, but this is an informal board, is it not? -- , the editor lady at nerve dot com (probably just a copy editor, anyway) complained that mccutcheon's stories were too evident of self-liking, and did not distance enough between author and his literary figure. in effect, that there wasn't enough alienation between mcc and the occasionallly heroic antics of his literary creations.

well i don't remember that henry miller was an icon of irony, or that e jong or bukowski put all too much distance between themselves and their first-person figures. from which follows that perhaps miller would have pretty heavy problems getting published if he were young and living in the present time.

now, mccutcheon may be no henry miller (who is, anyway?) but i have a sneaking suspicion he might have a better chance of getting published in europe, where the literati are not infested with the ideology of irony, and passion is taken at face value.

[mccutcheon]

she forced me to take that reply off. Sloth is getting his book self-published in Europe and something might come of that. I want to go the other route and get paid, need to get paid. To do that I have to get better. Just yesterday I changed the begining of Burnt and stold the first short chapter from Tropic of Cancer. Shhh. don't tell anyone.

[martino]

mum's the word

[Sloth]

First person narrative is the only way to truly write. Hats of to Miller and McCutcheon. Well done.

Self publishing would be easier if I had more than $60 in my bank account.

[<sarah>]

I don't understand the editor's point of view. People like what they like and who can judge that -- editors must have a tough life. How do they put themselves in the world of readers and make a judgment? Are they trying to judge literature for its literary merits or for its selling merits. And I guess in an ideal place these two would be one in the same, but . . . MC whose standards are you getting better by?

There's historical criticism
There's aesthetic criticism
There's feminist criticism
Deconstructionalism, what else . . .I don't know, there's a slew of them, and they give enough measuring sticks to keep you measuring yourself into the grave.

[mccutcheon]

Well said. I need to improve for me. I need to command that language. (Plus knowing how to spell would help.) Sarah I would marry you if you already didn't have a husband! Never leave Pax Acidus baby!

[<sarah>]

Like all good addicts, I'm in for the long haul, buddy.

Now I can't marry you (damn), and I can't spell either (double damn), and I have no idea what editors do (double dog damn), but I'm a hell of a proofreader, and if structure's your problem, I can help. It's what I unfortunately was born to do, and it's about the only thing I'm good at.

It is with great fear and self-loathing that I post this because it reveals the great big bore within me, but what the hell, I am a great big bore!

For instance in this post, starting with the prepositional phrase (like all good addicts) maintains strength throughout the sentence because the verb, your power word, is saved until the end. It's a trick to whip out occasionally at parties.

If I had said, "I'm in for the long haul like all good addicts," the sentence would have been weakened because the subject "I" and the verb "am" are first. They're most important to the meaning and everything else is just blah-blah-blah.

I could also write grammar books and tell you exactly why everything in previous sentence is punctuated as it is. Very exciting stuff! It's the science of writing, and I don't like it -- it ain't pretty, but I didn't get to pick my talent. I would have been a painter.

These are just tricks; they are not the magic!!

I'm not leaving, and if you have certain kinds of questions, I can probably answer them.

[martino]

two quotes to kick off the day

"nobody knows less about syntax than I" (marcel proust)

"a poor artist borrows ideas, but a good artist steals them" (igor stravinsky)

[mccutcheon]

Last night at Rosie's regular watering hole I briefly talked to a 55 year old retired school teacher who was high on Foster's and beer bongs and she was telling me the difference between grammar and usage. She read a piece of something I wrote and said I didn't use &#8216;into&#8217; correctly. She said when it&#8217;s physical, its &#8216;into&#8217; as one word and if it&#8217;s movement or something else its two words &#8216;in to&#8217;. Now- if anyone who knows me well knew I was studying the specifics of the English language they would laugh out loud. I&#8217;m usually to busy living to be studying. I lived in Paris for seven years and my French is horrible, &#8212;when asked if I speak French all I can say is &#8216;pas de tout!&#8217; I can&#8217;t spell in English, and slur my words even when I&#8217;m sober. But I understand typos are like pimples on a good piece of composition. See, I&#8217;ve got enough ideas and imagination to blow my brains out, but getting it all down proper like is so hard for me. I&#8217;d have written twice as much if I didn&#8217;t have to spend so much time editing everything I write. But I do it. It&#8217;s the only way and it&#8217;s worth it to me. And if you asked The Sloth as he sat in some London pub and you got a round in and started to chat about old McCutcheon he might be generous and say that I have been improving over the years. I hope so. All the encouraging remarks from Sarah and Martino help more than either of you know.

[ROSEMARY]

shakespeare ripped off all of commedia del arte's plots for his plays.

[mccutcheon]

And he got to fuck Gwyneth Paltrow.

Here are three new poems I just wrote for Sarah, Martino and Rosie. In that order. Three poems for the three of you. It's my way of saying thanks. Poems are shorter than novels.

The Next Leonard Cohen
By McCutcheon
for Sarah

I want you to grow up
To be the next Janis Joplin
So I can be the next Leonard Cohen
We&#8217;ll dance and swing
Then I&#8217;ll know I haven&#8217;t failed
Even if I stay ugly and still get laid
The words seducing young women
Bringing them to my bed
Girls wearing Playboy tee shirts
Porn Star hot pants and B-movie actresses
I&#8217;ll play little keyboard ditties
Set to the theme of my grand poetry
Life at this moment is unfulfilled
I won&#8217;t do it anymore I can&#8217;t anymore
I refuse to go home with my hard-on again
The way you belt it out when you sing
Give me head on that unmade bed
Bill Burroughs&#8217; Kansas to my New York City
Take me away please
I can be the next Leonard Cohen


A fine Line
By McCutcheon
for Martino

there is a fine line
(a big powdered cheeky one)
playing at coolness hipster
partying like a rock star
the next morning
mourning after
feeling like a loser
Kurt Cobain pain without fame
these hangovers
have made a fool of me
I can&#8217;t see straight
my body is shaking
stomach is churning
from the pills I have taken
booze and Valium
ruin my liver and will to live
heart and mind are gone
what once used to be me
is now just terrible trembling tears
I can&#8217;t get it together
falling off the sides
of that fine line
(no jokes here)

Paris
By Mccutcheon
for Rosie

A springtime in Paris
We visit the Eiffel Tower
My favorite structure
I want to show you everything
Pretty and sublime to the metro grime
So you will understand me
Discover my light
As we walk along the Seine
Paris is in me my city

[martino]

holy jesus mccutcheon, i am gobsmacked. you have made my day, my week, my month...

"how to become immortal":
don't die!,
alternatively:
win the affection of a child
or make a movie that people don't forget
or say something nice to mccutcheon, who will then
write a poem that kills you

[mccutcheon]

Thanks, glad you liked them. Prost!