heaven

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 3:33 am

I've seen heaven move
along dusty television screens,
across musty pages of science literature
curtailed
into fairy tale stature
by young revolt

I've seen heaven move
into falsely twisted
brainwashed followers
by evangelical zombies turned
counter
clockwise
by currency

I've seen heaven move
between harsh words
of fundamentalist
evolutionist debate
set on marking their
intellectual territories

I've seen heaven move
through whispers of decadent old men
and worn out christians seething
with uncertainty

into a fallible mythic state

<sarah> · Post by **<sarah>** » Wed Jan 09, 2002 6:05 am

Jack,
I like your poem.

<sarah> · Post by **<sarah>** » Fri Jan 18, 2002 2:01 am

Hey Jack, Would you elaborate on the poem? It's really interesting. Makes me want to hear your prose explanation of it. There are a couple of lines that confuse me (easily done -- I read most poems ten, eleven, twelve times) And I do believe that most poems can't be explained in prose; they're poems, so if that's your response, I understand.

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Fri Jan 18, 2002 9:02 pm

Well, this was my problem in my poetry workshops: analyzing and discussing my poems.

The last line, "into a fallible mythic state" brings together all the other incoherent lines, sucking the poem in like a vaccum. The other lines were all observations of mine that have shadowed my belief. I believe many people can relate with that last line, heaven seems almost as trivial as santa claus(e)? Fallible means erroneous, something that can be looked at to be false. Using the word Mythic I had an image in my mind of comparing christian heaven to zeus or poseidon. Greek Mythology is cute and all, but that's what it is: a myth.

I wrote this poem on pax acidus one night after a heated debate of some sort that eventually turned into a religion war. I guess it was my way of telling that Christian to leave me alone. It was all spontaneous and drunkeness (of course). I guess I just wanted to add to McCutcheon's request of more poetry for the thread.

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Fri Jan 18, 2002 9:08 pm

I guess it's no longer possible to edit messages. I left out a couple of thoughts from the above reply. One being that the poem would do better if I changed the structure of it, and two if i did edit some lines.

But I wont do that, i wrote it, it's there to stay, besides it's no longer possible to edit messages.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Fri Jan 18, 2002 9:57 pm

anyone notice that Jack has moved?

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Sat Jan 19, 2002 12:31 am

Yeah, I moved into a dingy little one room apartment in Madison where I get to share a bathroom and a kitchen with someone. You ever see a cockroach the size of a tiny mouse? Well I just did. As long as they stay out of my room, all will be good.

McCutcheon, you've been to Madison, because one of your stories takes place there. Have you ever gone to Gennas? It's kitty corner from the capitol building. I went in there the other night and got hit on (i think) by a young attractive business lady who worked at the capitol. At first I ignored her, considering she was with her boyfriend. She was sexy, and I was grungy, but after the Boddington's really started to flow, I ended up kissing her hand and I told her she was "beautiful."

After the boyfriend saw that he told her to get her coat and he wooshed her out of there. So I went back to my apartment alone, smoked a joint, relaxed, and thought about how great life really is, even when you're alone.

Post by **mccutcheon** » Sat Jan 19, 2002 12:52 am

That sounds good Jack. I went to school in Madison so I know it well. I also spent a great New Year's there. The day after go to Come Back Inn to stay drunk for 24 hours. That's what I did and Lynn is still not talking to me.

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Sat Jan 19, 2002 4:15 am

Well I actually lived in Madison for 2 years, then moved back to Milwaukee for the last six months. But now I'm back there, and where did everyone go? Hell if I know. They're all probably hanging out with my ex, getting the "college drunk" on.

I walk these streets and just laugh sometimes at the foolishness. Even though 90 percent of the time I'm just as drunk if not more than these people. You got morons deliberately starting fights, breaking windows, pissing on shops...

That's the problem with college towns. Kids come here for school and they live here for four years. Granted they get an education, but they also could care a less about the town itself. Not much community here. Just people passing back and forth polluting and ruining.

I had one of the more philosophical nights of my life last night. My brother and I sat in my place and talked non-stop for about 5 hours. We indulged ourselves in many areas of interest, and I came to the conclusion that my brother, though 2 years younger than I, posesses a great mind. I've never been able to talk to someone quite like the conversation we had last night.

Well, time to hit Gennas up again. Will that foxy business lady be there again? I could care a less.

<sarah> · Post by **<sarah>** » Sat Jan 19, 2002 7:30 am

Great conversation is like being on uppers. Sometimes my brother and I find ourselves in an all nighter; he's got a great mind even though he's two years older than I.

And I really relate to the poem. I know a Christian who loves me a lot, and she continually tries to make me see things from her point of view. For her, Christianity means happiness. I tell her it's a very lovely thing she does, trying to give me that happiness too. It means to me that she loves me enough to want to share. I don't agree with her point of view, but I appreciate her sentiment.