The Cruise

Post by **Sloth** » Sat Jan 20, 2001 9:03 pm

Hey I got a new story up. Let me know what you think.

The Cruise http://www.paxacidus.com/read/thecruise.html

-ooh

rforegger · Post by **rforegger** » Fri Jan 26, 2001 2:56 am

Hi umm ooh, I liked the story. When I was in the third grade Our class wolud write letters to kids in mexico. It was like a pen pal thing. The way your story reads reminded me of how those letters were written. the sexual content made it hilarious because i kept picturing the girl to be like 12. Maybe you should set it up as a letter or something. i'm moving to Seattle in June, hope your still around.Ryan

Post by **Sloth** » Fri Jan 26, 2001 3:40 am

No seriously, it was supposed to read like a police report or something. Glad you, err, kinda liked it.

About the beers, well they tell me its dangerous to mix heroin with alcohol but what the hell you only die once.

-ooh

Post by **mccutcheon** » Fri Jan 26, 2001 9:45 pm

ryan, are you saying that the Sloth writes like a 12 year old Mexican girl?

rforegger · Post by **rforegger** » Sat Jan 27, 2001 2:04 am

Well sorted of like a 12 year old mexican girl. it's a personal narrative right? So it shouldn't read like the sloth it should read like it was written by the character. and it does. I guess it wasn't clear, but i like the story! Just made me think of the pen pal thing. Which is good isn't it? I was able to connect it with something in my life. thats one of the keys to story telling, the audience has to identify somehow.

Post by **Sloth** » Sun Jan 28, 2001 7:58 pm

Mexico?!

The girl is from the Basque region of Spain!

Post by **mccutcheon** » Mon Jan 29, 2001 8:29 am

It's all Taco Bell!

Post by **Sloth** » Tue Jan 30, 2001 5:12 am

You people are all so bitter. What's the deal? Wintertime blues? My story? Que?

rforegger · Post by **rforegger** » Tue Jan 30, 2001 8:18 am

Well i've never met anyone from the Basque region of uranus so i wouldn't know know. The hell with it i will discus The Cruise no further. Maybe if I'm really drunk. Any ways I'm not moving to Seattle in june...I'm moving to vancouver and enrolling in their film school so i can get a descent job in film and also get a couple more films made. But well still have to go out for beers.