I am going to post all relatively decent submissions in this forum from now on for democratic election.
In the future, you will be able to see it laid out like a real pax acidus story. Thing gotta evolve slowly you know.
This story is from our newest juvenile delinquent poster from the South, Nick Carraway.
New Pax Acidus Story Submission
New Pax Acidus Story Submission
Last edited by Sloth on Fri May 14, 2004 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
CLICK THIS LINK TO READ THE STORY... IT WILL APPEAR ALL NICE AND COOL LIKE A PAX STORY SHOULD... (GOD I LOVE DATABASES)
http://www.paxacidus.com/content.php?contid=389&op=page
http://www.paxacidus.com/content.php?contid=389&op=page
Last edited by Sloth on Fri May 21, 2004 9:47 pm, edited 4 times in total.
First of all, I cannot take age in to consideration when deciding whether I like a piece. It wouldn't be fair. After all, Rimbaud wrote his best stuff at 16 and he is considered amongst the best writers ever.
I like the idea and the writing style, although there are some repetitious / cliched elements. For instance there is the death of the drug users at the end of the piece. And the equivalence of death and truth. And people being offered drugs for free by evil people. I think this piece is totally publishable. But perhaps as a warning to kids not to experiment with drugs.
I always have to read these things again and again. Like for instance, the more I read the othe recent submission by Duncan the more I like it. Time will tell.
I like the idea and the writing style, although there are some repetitious / cliched elements. For instance there is the death of the drug users at the end of the piece. And the equivalence of death and truth. And people being offered drugs for free by evil people. I think this piece is totally publishable. But perhaps as a warning to kids not to experiment with drugs.
I always have to read these things again and again. Like for instance, the more I read the othe recent submission by Duncan the more I like it. Time will tell.
Yeah I agree with you Sloth, and therefore won't make up my mind just yet. The writing is good, good wordage dog. But yeah, no one has ever given me drugs for free. Wait, you gave me some mushrooms sloth. Sloth gives it out for free. What a great guy. The mercedes thing really through me off. from then on i could not relate. I did like the stuff about the last band / new band...
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Nick Carraway
- Big Ears
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Thu May 13, 2004 1:30 am
- Location: North Carolina
- Contact:
yea, I didn't mean to portray it in a way that would be anti-drugs, but it pretty much isn't, it's just saying that you shouldn't take things that you don't know about from people you don't know, and hey, i have been offered free drugs before, i was walking downtown to skateboard one time and this dude picked me up outta no where, i mean, he was driving one way, and he just totally on a main street in my city did a u turn in the middle of the street and rode by and went of the road and he asked me if i wanted a ride, and he looked pretty cool and young like he wouldn't wanna molest me or anything, so i said sure, and i get in and ask him for a cigarette and he was like so... you smoke pot and i said sometimes and he was like you wanna go smoke a joint and i was like sure, and i offered him money twice and he wouldn't take it, we have been friends ever since, but that's one of the only god stories i have in my life to tell! 
FYI: I was high on DXM when i wrote that story. So if it's choppy blame cough medicine, hehe.
FYI: I was high on DXM when i wrote that story. So if it's choppy blame cough medicine, hehe.
Email: Nick999@alltlel.net
AIM: pedroisthelion
AIM: pedroisthelion