Andy Rooney on the French

Post by **mccutcheon** » Mon Feb 17, 2003 4:39 pm

You can't beat the French when it comes to food, fashion, wine or perfume, but they lost their license to have an opinion on world affairs years ago. They may even be selling stuff to Iraq and don't want to hurt business.

The French are simply not reliable partners in a world where the good people in it ought to be working together. Americans may come off as international jerks sometimes but we're usually trying to do the right thing.

The French lost WW II to the Germans in about 20 minutes. Along with the British, we got into the war and had about 150,000 guys killed getting their country back for them. We fought all across France, and the Germans finally surrendered in a French schoolhouse.

You'd think that school building in Reims would be a great tourist attraction but it isn't. The French seem embarrassed by it. They don't want to call attention to the fact that we freed them from German occupation.

I heard Steven Spielberg say the French wouldn't even let him film the D-Day scenes in “Saving Private Ryan” on the Normandy beaches. They want people to forget the price we paid getting their country back for them.

Americans have a right to protest going to war with Iraq. The French do not. They owe us the independence they flaunt in our face at the U.N.

I went into Paris with American troops the day we liberated it, Aug. 25, 1944. It was one of the great days in the history of the world.

French women showered American soldiers with kisses, at the very least. The next day, the pompous Charles de Gaulle marched down the mile long Champs Elysee to the Place de la Concorde as if he had liberated France himself. I was there, squeezed in among a hundred tanks we'd given the Free French Army that we brought in with us.

Suddenly there were sniper shots from the top of a building. Thousands of Frenchmen who had come to see de Gaulle scrambled to get under something. I got under an Army truck myself. The tank gunners opened fire on the building where the shots had come from, firing mindlessly at nothing. It was a wild scene that lasted, maybe, 10 minutes.

When we go to Paris every couple of years now, I rent a car. I drive around the Place de la Concorde and when some French driver blows his horn for me to get out of his way, I just smile and say to myself, "Go ahead, Pierre. Be my guest. I know something about this very place you'll never know."

The French have not earned their right to oppose President Bush's plans to attack Iraq.

On the other hand, I have.

Myke115 · Post by **Myke115** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 8:34 am

I actually saw that 60 Minutes episode yesterday where Andy Rooney spoke that piece. I found it kinda poingant. He said things that perhaps I'll never have the words for and with perhaps an authority with which my generation doesn't have the right.

myke

martino · Post by **martino** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:23 am

ah mc, you sly fox -- you think that you can provoke a furious discussion on the bb by posting this kind of bs. i can literally see you rubbing your hands in glee. but me, i'm gonna pass this time; you won't see me stepping in this pile.

Post by **Sloth** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 6:26 pm

The French were decimated in WW2. It is not funny and it took longer than 20 minutes. It was a brilliant strategy by the Germans to go around the Maginot line and through peaceful Belgium.

I see nothing funny about this and nothing funny about Andy Rooney, who is an old wheezing geezer who should retire and enjoy the rest of his irelevant life in solitude.

France as a country has the right to say whatever they want whenever they want. Make wine not war. Vive la France.

And if you can't stand the way the French drive, McCutcheon... then you should stay off the bloody sidewalk.

marky · Post by **marky** » Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:40 pm

Cheers, Ooh.

Myke115 · Post by **Myke115** » Wed Feb 19, 2003 12:37 am

I'm no big fan of Rooney either ... my only point was that his generation ... the WWII generation ... has a completely different perspective than we ever could. I have a respect for any individual, American, French, British, etc. who fought against Hitler back then. Our generation can smoke pot, picket and rally for or against their favorite causes, and type our opinions to our hearts content but we'll never really be able to look at that event from the same perspective as someone who actually witnessed first hand the devastation.

You don't have to agree with someone to necessarily acknowledge that they have a valid right to a different point of view. Why must everyone who disagrees with some here be thought of a degenerates worthy of personal insults?

And I still find Oprah attractive.

myke

PS -- I don't think McCutheon was agreeing with what his post said. He was quoting the whole of Andy Rooney's text. Down to the driving comments.

marky · Post by **marky** » Wed Feb 19, 2003 6:10 am

You say you don't have to agree with someone to acknowledge that they have a valid point of view...I think that's what you said, right? Sorry if I didn't quite get the words exactly right. Well I agree with that statement, which is why I don't understand why Rooney or anyone else would be saying "the French don't have a right to an opinion"
I just don't understand that logic. I think it's all to do with nationalistic pride. But if I can criticize U.S. foreign policy, why can't the French? Speaking of that, there's a Rush lyric "Better the pride that resides in a citizen of the world/than the pride that divides/when a colourful rag is unfurled"

I think Oprah's attractive too. Thank God I'm not the only one. Never thought I'd admit that to anyone, either.

Post by **Sloth** » Wed Feb 19, 2003 7:01 am

Oprah is the perfect example of mediocrity rising to the top. She is the Wal-Mart of femininity. She is the Madonna of talk shows and the Jesus Christ of black women and the Financial Messiah of irrelevant books and authors.

The only thing I like about her is she is naturally fat and I can sympathize with people who love food and hate themselves for being fat. More fried chicken and pass the fucking beer please. Fucked looking like a stuffed pig on national daytime TV for soccer moms and upwardly mobile trailer trash.

I am drinking a 1998 Bordeaux and listening to Nirvana. Anyone want a glass? I assure you its a good vintage.

Myke115 · Post by **Myke115** » Wed Feb 19, 2003 11:33 am

Caustic ....

Jack Chiefton · Post by **Jack Chiefton** » Thu Feb 20, 2003 3:37 am

And for fucks sake... Oprah Winfrey attractive? At first I let it slide as a cruel joke, but now it's making me very nauseous.

marky · Post by **marky** » Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:54 am

Caustic, but he makes up for it because he's usually funny in the process. I'll take a glass, Sloth.

Myke115 · Post by **Myke115** » Fri Feb 21, 2003 12:38 am

If it was caustic but funny ... I mighta laughed. But that was just caustic.

I care not. Oprah rose from nothing to be rich, famous, a relatively good actress (love Color Purple), and good looking. Yes, I really do think Oprah is attractive.

Speaking of being caustic, here's a few French jokes I heard on the radio yesterday on the way to work:

How many French takes does it take to defend Paris? -- know one knows, it's never been tried before.

What do you call thousands of French men with their hands in the air? -- the French Army.

myke

Myke115 · Post by **Myke115** » Fri Feb 21, 2003 1:08 am

More French jokes ...

- Anyone see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!

- Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

- Q. Why are the French so afraid of war?? A. You would be too if you never won one in you history.

- Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender

- A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for her family for dinner that night. She looked at the display of brains and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. She gasped and asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint.
"No ma'm," answered the butcher. "That is the correct price."
"Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" exclaimed the cannibal.
"Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" replied the butcher.

- Q: Why do the French Smell? A: So blind people can hate them too!

- Why don't the French eat M&M candies?

They're too hard to peel.

- Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy.....To see all their other ships.

- How did the French react to German reunification? They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers.

- What do you call a man who only needs body armour on his back? Jacques Chirac

- A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!

- Q. How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Five

one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing.
the second to turn tail and run.
the third to roll over.
the forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sconces.
and the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States.

- Why do we need France on our side against Sadamm and Osama? So the French can show them how to surrender.

- Sauna Summit in Paris

George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Parisian sauna. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound.
President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping stopped. The others looked curiously at him. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. "I have a microchip embedded under the skin of my forearm."

Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the ringing stopped. The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. I have a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand.

"By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of low-tech. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the sauna, but returned momentarily. When he returned, Bush and Blair both stared at him increduously.

It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Frenchman's posterior.

When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he feigned astonishment: "Marie sainte! I'm think I'm getting a fax."

- What color is the American flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the British flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the French flag? White.

- Why do frenchmen always were yellow tyes ? A: to match the teeth

- Whats the best place to hide your money ? A: under the soap of a frenchman

A little humor ....

myke