Neal Cassady

[mccutcheon]

Kyle sent me this email with these words attached: "reminds me of you"


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| |
| Letter from Neal Cassady to Jack Kerouac |
| (March 7, 1947) |
| |
| Dear Jack: |
| |
| I am sitting in a bar on Market St. I'm |
| drunk, well, not quite, but I soon will be. |
| I am here for 2 reasons; I must wait 5 hours |
| for the bus to Denver & lastly but, most |
| importantly, I'm here (drinking) because, of |
| course, because of a woman & what a woman! |
| To be chronological about it : I was sitting |
| on the bus when it took on more passengers |
| at Indianapolis, Indiana -- a perfectly |
| proportioned (beautiful, drunk) gargled & |
| stammered NO! (Paradox of expression, after |
| all, how can one stammer No!!?) She sat -- I |
| sweated -- She started to speak, I knew it |
| would be generalities, so to tempt her I |
| remained silent. She (her name Patricia) got |
| on the bus at 8 PM (Dark!) I didn't speak |
| until 10 PM -- in the intervening 2 hours I |
| not only of course, determined to make her, |
| but, how to DO IT. I naturally can't quote |
| the conversation verbally, however, I shall |
| attempt to give you the gist of it from 10 |
| PM to 2 AM. Without the slightest |
| preliminaries of objective remarks (what's |
| your name? where are you going? etc.) I |
| plunged into a completely knowing, |
| completely subjective, personal & so to |
| speak "penetrating her core" way of speech; |
| to be shorter (since I'm getting unable to |
| write) by 2 AM I had her swearing eternal |
| love, complete subjectivity to me & |
| immediate satisfaction. I, anticipating even |
| more pleasure, wouldn't allow her to blow me |
| on the bus, instead we played, as they say, |
| with each other. Knowing her supremely |
| perfect being was completely mine (when I'm |
| more coherent, I'll tell you her complete |
| history & psychological reason for loving |
| me) I could concieve of no obstacle to my |
| satisfaction, well "the best laid plans of |
| mice & men go astray" and my nemesis was her |
| sister, the bitch. Pat had told me her |
| reason for going to St. Louis was to see her |
| sister; she had wired her to meet her at the |
| depot. So, to get rid of the sister, we |
| peeked around the depot when we arrived at |
| St. Louis at 4 AM to see if she (her sister) |
| was present. If not, Pat would claim her |
| suitcase, change clothes in the rest room & |
| she and I proceed to a hotel room for a |
| night (years?) of perfect bliss. The sister |
| was not in sight, so She (not the capital) |
| claimed her bag & retired to the toilet to |
| change ---- long dash ---- This next |
| paragraph must, of necessity, be written |
| completely objectively -- Edith (her sister) |
| & Patricia (my love) walked out of the |
| pisshouse hand in hand (I shan't describe my |
| emotions). It seems Edith (bah) arrived at |
| the bus depot early & while waiting for |
| Patricia, feeling sleepy, retired to the |
| head to sleep on a sofa. That's why Pat & I |
| didn't see her. My desperate efforts to free |
| Pat from Edith failed, even Pat's terror & |
| slave-like feeling toward her rebelled |
| enough to state she must see "someone" & |
| would meet Edith later, all failed. Edith |
| was wise; she saw what was happening between |
| Pat & I. Well, to summarize: Pat & I stood |
| in the depot (in plain sight of the sister) |
| & pushing up to one another, vowed to never |
| love again & then I took the bus to Kansas |
| City & Pat went home, meekly, with her |
| dominating sister. Alas, alas ---- In |
| complete (try & share my feeling) dejection, |
| I sat, as the bus progressed toward Kansas |
| City. At Columbia, Mo. a young (19) |
| completely passive (my meat) virgin got on & |
| shared my seat ... In my dejection over |
| losing Pat, the perfect, I decided to sit on |
| the bus (behind the driver) in broad |
| daylight & seduce her, from 10:30 AM to 2:30 |
| PM I talked. When I was done, she (confused, |
| her entire life upset, metaphysically amazed |
| at me, passionate in her immaturity) called |
| her folks up emotion finding release in this |
| young virgin (& she was) who is, by the way, |
| a school teacher! Imagine, she's had 2 years |
| of Mo. St. Teacher's College & now teaches |
| Jr. High School. (I'm beyond thinking |
| straightly). I'm going to stop writing. Oh, |
| yes, to free myself for a moment from my |
| emotions, you must read 'Dead Souls' parts |
| of it (in which Gogol shows his insight) are |
| quite like you. I'll elaborate further later |
| (probably?) but at the moment I'm drunk and |
| happy (after all, I'm free of Patricia |
| already, due to the young virgin. I have no |
| name for her. At the happy note of Les |
| Young's 'jumping at Mesners' (which I'm |
| hearing) I close till later. To my Brother |
| |
| Carry On! |
| |
| N.L. Cassady |
| |
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[mccutcheon]

Is it me or is the letter posted above a little fucked up and hard to read? Trust me when I say you can blame a lot of things on Neal Cassady, but he shouldn't get the blame on this one. I blame Kyle.