Still, I'm sure she has talked this over with her boyfriend and they have decided what is best for my kids. So on that score, fuck them.
Mav, you really are the most pleasant of humans. (Dare I say, because you were the product of two great parents. Say hello to them from me.) Tracy is great too, and as McC, Sloth and I can attest, really filthy when you are out of town. I wis
more reigion
Jesus fucking christ, people. Way too fucking drunk last night. I assure you there was a reason why I quoted all that, but fuck me if I know what it is now. Anyway Tommy I got your phone message and I can tell you that I laughed for a long, long time at the idea that I'll spend my life coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't a Joy Division roadie. Yeah I was laughing my arse off before I passed out last night. I saved your message so I could listen to it again later and laugh some more.
Also I finally have the first album by The Blue Nile called A Walk Across The Rooftops. I have toyed with the idea of owning that since 1985 and never have! I listened to the first song and had an "oh my god this is amazing!!" moment and that's when I reached for the phone and realized you had left me a message.
Walked around Greenlake today with my punk friend, Paul. Can't believe how tired it made me. At least it's sunny here. I wore a short sleeved shirt, if you can believe that.
Also I finally have the first album by The Blue Nile called A Walk Across The Rooftops. I have toyed with the idea of owning that since 1985 and never have! I listened to the first song and had an "oh my god this is amazing!!" moment and that's when I reached for the phone and realized you had left me a message.
Walked around Greenlake today with my punk friend, Paul. Can't believe how tired it made me. At least it's sunny here. I wore a short sleeved shirt, if you can believe that.
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TragicPixie
- Mile High Club
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That's right Mav because we are all punk hippies that listen to Jesus & Mary Chain.
The girl behind the counter at the CD shop looks like the Sally Field version of a goth. I mean she is ridiculously cute. Totally black everything, black hair, black clothes, black eyes, but freckles at the same time.
Also there is a guy at the CD shop with an English accent who seems about the age to remember punk etc. and I wanted to ask him tonight if he went to an English Beat show here a few years ago, but he was busy and I felt it inappropriate to bother him.
Anyway I got the brand new Church album which I'm excited about. I only just bought it tonight. Didn't think I'd find it in a store around here. And this Blue Nile album from 1984 (?) is really too much, I mean woooooahh.
So anyway the reason I'm writing all this is because I realized it was fucking midnight in Cincinnati when I wanted to call Tommy. When I was finally so ready to call, it was too late once again. This is why I should drink in the daytime at least once on the weekends. So I can bloody call Tommy at a reasonable time.
But this Blue Nile..oh my god, I almost feel like I have to have it on vinyl too just to make it official that that thing I saw in the shop in 1985 is really mine once and for all.
The girl behind the counter at the CD shop looks like the Sally Field version of a goth. I mean she is ridiculously cute. Totally black everything, black hair, black clothes, black eyes, but freckles at the same time.
Also there is a guy at the CD shop with an English accent who seems about the age to remember punk etc. and I wanted to ask him tonight if he went to an English Beat show here a few years ago, but he was busy and I felt it inappropriate to bother him.
Anyway I got the brand new Church album which I'm excited about. I only just bought it tonight. Didn't think I'd find it in a store around here. And this Blue Nile album from 1984 (?) is really too much, I mean woooooahh.
So anyway the reason I'm writing all this is because I realized it was fucking midnight in Cincinnati when I wanted to call Tommy. When I was finally so ready to call, it was too late once again. This is why I should drink in the daytime at least once on the weekends. So I can bloody call Tommy at a reasonable time.
But this Blue Nile..oh my god, I almost feel like I have to have it on vinyl too just to make it official that that thing I saw in the shop in 1985 is really mine once and for all.
Last edited by marky on Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
Also, don't make me out to be a narrow minded ageist, Pixie, I'm really not. I only long for my youth because the music was better then, that's all. I don't actually want to BE young at all, I'm happier now in my life than ever, I only want to go back as an *adult* into the 70's and 80's when music was better.
I'd also like to note that I know a guy who was born in 1981 and he is crazy about music from the year of his birth and he and I agree that the best time for music was '78-'82. So it really doesn't matter so much when you are born, it's just who you are at the time. Whenever that time is.
I just remembered I bought a somewhat expensive bottle of champagne I'd forgotten about...
I like dry champagne, btw. If it isn't "extra dry" it can go fuck itself as far as I'm concerened.
I'd also like to note that I know a guy who was born in 1981 and he is crazy about music from the year of his birth and he and I agree that the best time for music was '78-'82. So it really doesn't matter so much when you are born, it's just who you are at the time. Whenever that time is.
I just remembered I bought a somewhat expensive bottle of champagne I'd forgotten about...
I like dry champagne, btw. If it isn't "extra dry" it can go fuck itself as far as I'm concerened.
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Tommy Martyn
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- Location: a desk
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Tommy Martyn
- Mile High Club
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2003 8:01 am
- Location: a desk
well, this is true, and i haven't read all of the above things, but i'll tell you this. i thought about my dad a lot while i was gone -- who i'd be if he'd not been him, and i have to say -- i'm glad he took the job for the kids and the house and the land way off in the boonies.
when we were growing up, i was always a bit pissed at my dad for moving us from dc to the country because i didn't have other girls around to play with and i had to run around outside and entertain myself -- also there were a lot of mean boys who lived in the country. but i am no longer pissed at my dad; not too long ago he told me that as a young dad and hubby, he read an article that explained that children who grow up in wide open places have wide open minds . . . and that is why he bought the farm, so to speak, and whether or not we ended up with wide open minds is debatable, but i really appreciate my dad's decisions, even though i don't always agree with them, now that i'm older, i always understand.
when we were growing up, i was always a bit pissed at my dad for moving us from dc to the country because i didn't have other girls around to play with and i had to run around outside and entertain myself -- also there were a lot of mean boys who lived in the country. but i am no longer pissed at my dad; not too long ago he told me that as a young dad and hubby, he read an article that explained that children who grow up in wide open places have wide open minds . . . and that is why he bought the farm, so to speak, and whether or not we ended up with wide open minds is debatable, but i really appreciate my dad's decisions, even though i don't always agree with them, now that i'm older, i always understand.
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Tommy Martyn
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story so far
This is what is actually happening.......
After being married for a long time. We are breaking up. We have 2 children. Boy 6 and girl 3. I have stayed home looking after them both for all their lives. My wife is not the maternal type. I will continue to be the primary caregiver. No real change there then. She really did have an affair but that isn't the reason for the bust up. She wants to try and find a new life with someone else. Our son is, for want of a better phrase, "emotionally fragile" he is most certainly borderline ADHD and possibly dislexic. The break up will crush him. I know this. You will just have to believe me when I say that a freight train is headed for him. The fact that I know this in advance, feels like a boulder in my stomach. As a parent your main focus is the well being of your kids. I'm not mad at my wife for wanting a fresh start. Who doesn't want to try being someone new with someone new? I'm in a rage because she refuses to see how much he will be crushed. This is not a marriage of thrown dinner plates (and until recently) infidelity. It just isn't the greatest marriage in the history of the world, but after 14 years what do you expect? A 14 year honeymoon.
We are off too arbitration. We seem to agree (so far) in principle on how we are going to divvy up the stuff. Just about everyone I have spoken to tells me that the secondary caregiver wants lots of access in the beginning but as time rolls on and they get a new partner etc they drop off on their visits. Given that my wife has a hard time spending a whole day with them while I'm in the house at the same time I'm confident that this will be the case.
So, like I said elsewhere my big concern is what kind of career should I choose as a single parent?
Now, anybody know a woman who wants to make booty calls to a 42 year old guy with 2 kids?
After being married for a long time. We are breaking up. We have 2 children. Boy 6 and girl 3. I have stayed home looking after them both for all their lives. My wife is not the maternal type. I will continue to be the primary caregiver. No real change there then. She really did have an affair but that isn't the reason for the bust up. She wants to try and find a new life with someone else. Our son is, for want of a better phrase, "emotionally fragile" he is most certainly borderline ADHD and possibly dislexic. The break up will crush him. I know this. You will just have to believe me when I say that a freight train is headed for him. The fact that I know this in advance, feels like a boulder in my stomach. As a parent your main focus is the well being of your kids. I'm not mad at my wife for wanting a fresh start. Who doesn't want to try being someone new with someone new? I'm in a rage because she refuses to see how much he will be crushed. This is not a marriage of thrown dinner plates (and until recently) infidelity. It just isn't the greatest marriage in the history of the world, but after 14 years what do you expect? A 14 year honeymoon.
We are off too arbitration. We seem to agree (so far) in principle on how we are going to divvy up the stuff. Just about everyone I have spoken to tells me that the secondary caregiver wants lots of access in the beginning but as time rolls on and they get a new partner etc they drop off on their visits. Given that my wife has a hard time spending a whole day with them while I'm in the house at the same time I'm confident that this will be the case.
So, like I said elsewhere my big concern is what kind of career should I choose as a single parent?
Now, anybody know a woman who wants to make booty calls to a 42 year old guy with 2 kids?
i can't help you with booty calls. maybe if i weren't married and couldn't give you an std that you'd then maybe pass on to someone who wants kids. . . about the job, tommy, you are in a tough spot if there ever was one. and i really do feel for you. i don't know. i mean, i have no kids, i'm in no place to tell you what to do for yours. and i don't think you're asking for that or sympathy, but i really do feel it for you.
i know this one kid, the one i wrote the story about, his name's not lyle, and he was so fucked up, i swear, emotionally disturbed and brilliant like you wouldn't believe, but i mean he didn't have a dad that cares about him, and that was a big problem, and for you that is the big difference. it helps to have two parents who care about you tremendously, but one is okay.
"Just about everyone I have spoken to tells me that the secondary caregiver wants lots of access in the beginning but as time rolls on and they get a new partner etc they drop off on their visits"
one of my girlfriends who is going through this stuff right now has an ex who just left . . . i mean left, and he doesn't do squat. do you have friends and a good support system where you are? if you've got good friends or family that's going to be a good thing for your kids. they'll help a whole lot.
you're going to do the right thing. whatever that is because your heart is in the right place, but i think if you can choose a career that puts you at home with henry, he's going to be better off for it, and in the long run so will you. if you can't, you can't. and that's the end of it. teaching is really a great thing for parents. you get off at three or three thirty, you have summers and holidays off, but not everyone can teach. i have no idea what your background is . . . if you've got a background in math or science most schools are desperate for you. you are a male and that is always good with kids, well, almost always i can think of some who aren't that great, but anyway. teaching is one close to ideal career for parenting, but i'm sure it's not the only one.
kids have been "adhd" for years and parents have handled it without drugs or counselors or anything but parenting. there is a lot that you can supposedly do with diet. never ever give him kool aid, especially not red kool aid. there are a lot of theories about kool aid and adhd, no kidding. sugar needs to go too and the sooner the better. i'll look into it more for you.
also dyslexia, he can do it. i tutored a guy in college who was dyslexic. it can be done. he was very intelligent; i'm sure you know, it's not the same thing. do not put him in public schools!! there is no way they can deal with that properly. there is this no child left behind crap, and i'd be scared to death to know what you'd end up with as far as pressures there -- well, i say that, but i don't really know about the schools in ohio, i'd check them out very carefully though. i'd interview the principals and i'd find out how they deal with iep's. in my state that is what he would need, it's an individualized education plan. he'd be labeled special ed and he'd be in classes accordingly. this is not a great solution as it has a lot of negative socializing effects.
i've worked with a lot of adhd kids before it's not that bad, it's not bad at all really. i've also worked with kids with mild forms of autism, and i've only taught one kid that i couldn't work with and his mom was a crack addict. that was tough, but we're talking about years of abuse before he was removed from the home, and god knows what else. henry is going to be okay.
i know this one kid, the one i wrote the story about, his name's not lyle, and he was so fucked up, i swear, emotionally disturbed and brilliant like you wouldn't believe, but i mean he didn't have a dad that cares about him, and that was a big problem, and for you that is the big difference. it helps to have two parents who care about you tremendously, but one is okay.
"Just about everyone I have spoken to tells me that the secondary caregiver wants lots of access in the beginning but as time rolls on and they get a new partner etc they drop off on their visits"
one of my girlfriends who is going through this stuff right now has an ex who just left . . . i mean left, and he doesn't do squat. do you have friends and a good support system where you are? if you've got good friends or family that's going to be a good thing for your kids. they'll help a whole lot.
you're going to do the right thing. whatever that is because your heart is in the right place, but i think if you can choose a career that puts you at home with henry, he's going to be better off for it, and in the long run so will you. if you can't, you can't. and that's the end of it. teaching is really a great thing for parents. you get off at three or three thirty, you have summers and holidays off, but not everyone can teach. i have no idea what your background is . . . if you've got a background in math or science most schools are desperate for you. you are a male and that is always good with kids, well, almost always i can think of some who aren't that great, but anyway. teaching is one close to ideal career for parenting, but i'm sure it's not the only one.
kids have been "adhd" for years and parents have handled it without drugs or counselors or anything but parenting. there is a lot that you can supposedly do with diet. never ever give him kool aid, especially not red kool aid. there are a lot of theories about kool aid and adhd, no kidding. sugar needs to go too and the sooner the better. i'll look into it more for you.
also dyslexia, he can do it. i tutored a guy in college who was dyslexic. it can be done. he was very intelligent; i'm sure you know, it's not the same thing. do not put him in public schools!! there is no way they can deal with that properly. there is this no child left behind crap, and i'd be scared to death to know what you'd end up with as far as pressures there -- well, i say that, but i don't really know about the schools in ohio, i'd check them out very carefully though. i'd interview the principals and i'd find out how they deal with iep's. in my state that is what he would need, it's an individualized education plan. he'd be labeled special ed and he'd be in classes accordingly. this is not a great solution as it has a lot of negative socializing effects.
i've worked with a lot of adhd kids before it's not that bad, it's not bad at all really. i've also worked with kids with mild forms of autism, and i've only taught one kid that i couldn't work with and his mom was a crack addict. that was tough, but we're talking about years of abuse before he was removed from the home, and god knows what else. henry is going to be okay.
and goodnight
Okay, a couple of things . . . First, why do you think henry is dyslexic? Has he been diagnosed, and if so, by whom?
The reason why I ask is because, and this going to take a couple of lines here, but a lot of children who have some type of learning disability will develop a behavioral problem as a cover, especially if the area is in reading . . . Don't ask me why, I think it is far more embarrassing to them to be considered “dumb†-- which they are not - -they feel dumb, and other kids usually don't help out in this area -- than a behavioral problem, in some kids' minds a behavioral problem means you are bad, and a lot of times bad is good when you are a kid among your peers, or at least bad is better than dumb -- not that this is how educators view a lot of things, I'm just trying to give a kid's perspective. My sister-in-law is a speech language pathologist. She works in the public schools, and she has had very very bright kids who have ieps for various speech and language development problems -- many of them, especially those who are really, really bright tell their classmates that she is a therapist, and have confessed to her that they'd rather their classmates think they're crazy than that they can't talk -- so, henry may not have adhd if he has dyslexia. It may just be his way of covering that up. I don't know because I don't know him.
Adhd is usually a very subjectively determined “disorder“. It is very disputed among academic folks. Usually teachers or other folks who deal with the child are asked a series of questions and it's all just based on responses to questions, it's not very objective and scientific, and I think it's a lousy evaluation system. I don't know why you think he's adhd, and perhaps a psychiatrist has diagnosed him; if not, I'd be at least a little bit skeptical.
http://www.healing-arts.org/children/AD ... tional.htm
More on dyslexia and other issues:
http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/read ... aches.html
http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/read ... learn.html
Numbers you can call:
The International Dyslexia Association
(410) 296-0232 or (800) ABCD123
Division for Learning Disabilities
at the Council for Exceptional Children
(913) 492-8755 or (800) 328-0272
If you and Tracy can afford to keep him out of public schools, this is why I say, keep him out of public schools:
A focus of current education policy and the No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) is reading. Reading disabilities are more broadly defined to include any child who struggles learning to read. Policy advocates state that 80% of all students with LD have a reading problem. They state these problems can be remediated by proper reading instruction. The thrust of this policy is early identification of reading problems. Students with "reading disabilities," then, are those students who are achieving significantly below expected reading levels for grade and age.
New federal policy also stress research-validated reading teaching strategies. Have educational specialists shown that a specific teaching program works in the classroom. Does it work consistently in classrooms nationwide?
Concerns
Many professionals and parents working with students with learning disabilities express concern. They have worked for many years to assure special education services to students with learning disabilities. The fear the new focus on reading underachievement will undermine the needs of students with learning disabilities as defined under IDEA. The greatest concern is for the bright student with dyslexia. Under new policies this student may no longer receive special education services. Even though the student's reading achievement scores are significantly below the student's overall learning potential the scores are within the average range. Achievement scores within the average range do not qualify for services when the updated definition of a reading disability is applied. They have other concerns too.
Assessment of reading/learning disabilities is being shifted to the hands of the classroom teacher. Do classroom teachers have the time to take on yet another responsibility? Moreover, do they have the needed training?
Current evidence suggests teachers do not have needed diagnostic training. Their college course work did not include courses in assessment of learning disabilities, or courses in perception, neurological processing and the other critical aspects that make up the skills of reading.
Many teachers and other school faculty also lack the training on research design needed to implement the new policy. Even if they do work to find relevant research about various reading programs many teachers have not had coursework that enables them to know to tell good research from bad.
http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/read ... aches.html
The reason why I ask is because, and this going to take a couple of lines here, but a lot of children who have some type of learning disability will develop a behavioral problem as a cover, especially if the area is in reading . . . Don't ask me why, I think it is far more embarrassing to them to be considered “dumb†-- which they are not - -they feel dumb, and other kids usually don't help out in this area -- than a behavioral problem, in some kids' minds a behavioral problem means you are bad, and a lot of times bad is good when you are a kid among your peers, or at least bad is better than dumb -- not that this is how educators view a lot of things, I'm just trying to give a kid's perspective. My sister-in-law is a speech language pathologist. She works in the public schools, and she has had very very bright kids who have ieps for various speech and language development problems -- many of them, especially those who are really, really bright tell their classmates that she is a therapist, and have confessed to her that they'd rather their classmates think they're crazy than that they can't talk -- so, henry may not have adhd if he has dyslexia. It may just be his way of covering that up. I don't know because I don't know him.
Adhd is usually a very subjectively determined “disorder“. It is very disputed among academic folks. Usually teachers or other folks who deal with the child are asked a series of questions and it's all just based on responses to questions, it's not very objective and scientific, and I think it's a lousy evaluation system. I don't know why you think he's adhd, and perhaps a psychiatrist has diagnosed him; if not, I'd be at least a little bit skeptical.
http://www.healing-arts.org/children/AD ... tional.htm
More on dyslexia and other issues:
http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/read ... aches.html
http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/read ... learn.html
Numbers you can call:
The International Dyslexia Association
(410) 296-0232 or (800) ABCD123
Division for Learning Disabilities
at the Council for Exceptional Children
(913) 492-8755 or (800) 328-0272
If you and Tracy can afford to keep him out of public schools, this is why I say, keep him out of public schools:
A focus of current education policy and the No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) is reading. Reading disabilities are more broadly defined to include any child who struggles learning to read. Policy advocates state that 80% of all students with LD have a reading problem. They state these problems can be remediated by proper reading instruction. The thrust of this policy is early identification of reading problems. Students with "reading disabilities," then, are those students who are achieving significantly below expected reading levels for grade and age.
New federal policy also stress research-validated reading teaching strategies. Have educational specialists shown that a specific teaching program works in the classroom. Does it work consistently in classrooms nationwide?
Concerns
Many professionals and parents working with students with learning disabilities express concern. They have worked for many years to assure special education services to students with learning disabilities. The fear the new focus on reading underachievement will undermine the needs of students with learning disabilities as defined under IDEA. The greatest concern is for the bright student with dyslexia. Under new policies this student may no longer receive special education services. Even though the student's reading achievement scores are significantly below the student's overall learning potential the scores are within the average range. Achievement scores within the average range do not qualify for services when the updated definition of a reading disability is applied. They have other concerns too.
Assessment of reading/learning disabilities is being shifted to the hands of the classroom teacher. Do classroom teachers have the time to take on yet another responsibility? Moreover, do they have the needed training?
Current evidence suggests teachers do not have needed diagnostic training. Their college course work did not include courses in assessment of learning disabilities, or courses in perception, neurological processing and the other critical aspects that make up the skills of reading.
Many teachers and other school faculty also lack the training on research design needed to implement the new policy. Even if they do work to find relevant research about various reading programs many teachers have not had coursework that enables them to know to tell good research from bad.
http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/read ... aches.html