Got this note from a good friend. A gay guy from Seattle. I put it in it's entirety to give you the context. Keep with it. Although I have been out of the dating game for many years now it all sounded very fresh to me.
Tony,
Thanks for your address. I hope for your sake that the "big beast" to which you refer is a heifer or a buffalo and not your lovely and talented wife. Shame on you. Speaking of riding big beasts, I had this guy over last Friday night and I bet I had you worried there for a moment, didn't I?. I imagine you thinking "I was so content being the 'no details necessary' kind of friend." And so it is but let me tell you I've had quite a run lately It's feast or famine with me. (which reminds me of that Buzzcock's song 'Love Comes In Spurts') I go months and months without so much as a glance in my direction and then, bam!, I'm going out with guys and doing the dirty deed and kind of wishing it would all be like before. Not the sex of course, it's the dating and talking about feelings and relationships and what you need in a friend or partner ad nauseum. It's like dating Dr. Phil with hair and a gym membership. I want a date to be like two straight guys out drinking beer and talking about the Mariner's and telling crude jokes and then going home to screw. Not like the fellow who, when we finally decided to go out together, asked me very seriously "What would you like to do with your life?" and I'm thinking "End it now" but what I said was "That's really an essay question. I don't have a one-line response and besides I've had a few pints and it's loud in here." Basically it was a thinly veiled job interview question and the job in question was a relationship or another date. I must have not appeared too evasive or annoyed because we did go out again but we're both so opinionated on every conceivable subject and so damn cocksure about those opinions that every casual comment turned into this lengthy pseudo-philosophical conversation. Which begs the question, when is a good time to tell someone you're seeing that his reasoning is muddled, that there's a difference between "feelings" and objective reality, that sincere disagreement isn't a personal affront and that craving validation is a total buzzkill. What do you think?....fourth or fifth date?...one year anniversary? In any event I'll take the occasional self-loathing of sleazy anonymous encounters to that kind of stress and annoyance any day.
I'm going to Jerry's tonight for burgers and beer. I always enjoy myself but last time I was there the gathering had dwindled to Jerry, Craig Kelly and myself and those two decide to watch a compilation of Abba's music videos. I like Abba as well as the next middle-aged pederast but Jerry and Craig are sitting there all drunk and engrossed by these videos that are essentially filmed exactly alike. Therein lies my definition of 'sadly-hilarious'.