Bulletin Board of Bad Behavior

but not for long

missed you. I thought you were coming to NYC...no?

i'm workin hard for it.

Borgy makes a reappearance!

but I've been so quiet here for so long that this seems like the natural pace to post.

Chaps, remind me to tell you all about the time McC (and his blue eyes) came to stay. You can pick the format, french romantic, russian lunatic, US beat. I'll tell the story.

(I know I mentioned this years ago...does anybody listen to the writer's almanac on NPR. Garrison Keillor does it. Yesterday was the birthday of Dostoyevsky (forgive spelling) I learned that he was once placed in front of a firing squad and blindfolded. It was then announced that his sentence was reduced and he was hauled off to prison. I guess this is commmon knowledge but it was new to me.



1) SPORT Football. England beat Argentina 3-2 today in a friendly. Except there are no friendlies where England and Argentina are concerned. Well, not since the Falklands War.

2) SPORT Rugby league. Gt Britain beat New Zealand 38-12. Fan fucking tastic.

Rolf Harris. Where to begin? Rolf Harris is an australian. As famous in his home nation as he is in the UK. Love him or hate him he is an origional. He is an all round entertainer with a few added extras. He sings and tells jokes. He also plays musical instruments. He is a skilled cartoonist and painter. He has just been commissioned to paint the 80th birthday portrait of her majesty the Queen Elizabeth, no less.

Rolf must be 60 to 70 years old. He is easy to mimic as he has so many odd features. Some of his records have fallen into the collective (kitsch) conscience. He has a song called "Two little boys" I haven't heard it for 30 years but I can sing it.

"Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse......."

These boys play with them until one of the toys breaks. The other brother says, don't worry we can both play with mine. "I can go just as fast with two." The song changes gear with a military tattoo rattled out on a drum, and all of a sudden, the boys are grown up and in the army and off to war. One of the brothers gets shot and wouldn't you know it, his brother rides up on his horse and rescues him. "Climb up here Jack, we'll soon be flying. I can go just as fast with two." It is a solid lump of cheese but as a kids song it gets the point across about sharing and loving your sibling. If you are a kid and you aren't moved at the end when it goes, "I'm all a quiver, maybe it's the battle's noise. Or maybe it's I remember , when we were two little boys." Then it's a sure sign that you're not gonna be moved by stronger stuff when you grow up. Having small children I am all about "Good" kids music and "Bad" kids music. I would welcome folks suggestions on this point. Maybe that's another post.

I could go on and on. Kate Bush used Rolf on one of her albums years ago, because he is an accomplished digeridoo (forgive spelling again) player. It is my guess he turns up again in that role. You probably know that it is an aborigional instrument: basically a hollowed out stick. The note is continuous. Therefore you have to draw breath in through your nose while still exhailing with your mouth. This is a skill. Another of Rolfs classics is a song called "Sunrise." It is not directly campy. There might be a sample of it at his website.

He has a song called "Tie me Kangeroo down sport." Due to my involvement with rugby over the years my version of the song has been changed to, "beastiality's best boys" that's how much he has got into the cultural fabric.

Marky, you were very gracious in your praise. I have made a promise to myself. If I buy myself six beers, I will tape a note to beer number six that says "Call Marky."

In January I have organised a trip to Michigan. It is for the week of the divisional playoffs. Two NFL games on the Saturday and the Sunday. The family owns a place on a lake there. I'm excited already about the fact that five or six good fellas of my choosing are getting to shoot the shit, uninterupted for a long weekend. I know it is a long shot but I would still love to host the pax board someday. Marky could bring his venn diagrams. Mav could wow us with his thesis about "Top Gun" Pixie could take drugs. McC could share his techniques for beating off unwanted women. Martino could make us wish we were reading something more worthwhile. Sloth could give us the european perspective, well the european alchoholic perspective.

I'll bring you all up to date on the saga with my son next week. We've been to the psychologist once and we have to go again on Monday.

Lastly. This just in...I'm old. As you all know, in america you can watch ten million channels. Last week when T was in England and the kids were in bed and I was bored, I found out that I have a channel called VH-1 classics. I found out because I was surfing and I came across Morrissey in concert. I knew it was him, because his name was in lights twenty foot high across the back off the stage. In font of those lights was this big old guy who had eaten the lead singer from the Smiths and thought this had given him the right to sing some of their songs.

I was under the impression that "classics" meant Zeppelin and Clapton etc. I looked ahead through the menu for the week (God bless Tivo) they have a show called "the alternative. I taped it. I have only seen the first ten minutes or so, but the running order was Psychadelic furs, Jesus and Mary Chain, PiL an the La's. Fuck me. That sucks the dick of anything that VH-1 or MTV are showing these days.

Oh god please forgive me, I missed this entirely until now.

Especially that part about Dostoevsky, man that REALLY threw me for a loop.