Bulletin Board of Bad Behavior

Mav's right. You're not shooting on film so just shoot in color and post it in B&W is you want.

Backgammon



EXT. Day. Tompkins Sq. Park.

ROBERT is sitting on a bench. He is taking backgammon board out of his backpack. DIMITRI walks up with two hot teas. He has earphones on.



DIM
(too loudly)
Here you go. Be careful it is hot.

ROBERT
Thanks.


EXT. Day. Tompkins Sq. Park.

DIMITRI turns off his I pod and takes a seat on the bench. ROBERT puts the backgammon on bench.

DIM
Can't we ever play chess? So what's the matter with Margo this time? I didn't listen to your whole message.

ROBERT
I left the seat up again.

DIM
That's not really a big deal.

ROB
She hates it when I leave the seat up. I try to remember but by the time I'm doing my fly I'm usually out the door. I just forget.

DIM
It doesn't sound so tragic. A terrorist could strike at anytime.

ROB
I know, I know. I tell her to look at the big picture. But this morning I got up before she did. Margo went in half-asleep and just sat down. She fell in and her ass got wet.

DIM
She fell in?

Rob
Yes.

DIM
And her ass fell in and got all wet?�

ROB
Yes, I had taken a dump and forgot to flush.

DIM
Her ass fell in after you had taken a dump and forgot to flush?

ROB
Yes, she says she felt it.

DIM
Felt what?

ROB
You know, like a log.

DIM
Her ass fell in and she sat in your shit?

ROB
Yes. The she lost it. She started yelling at me for everything. She said I drink too much.

DIM
You do drink too much.

ROB
And that I never do the dishes.

DIM
Do you do the dishes?

ROB
Not really. I mean I want to but after I eat I'm too tired. I tell her I'll do them in the morning but she is worried about cockroaches.

DIM
Uh-huh.

ROB
That I never put my albums away.

DIM
You always leave your albums out.

ROB
I spend all my money in the first two days after I get paid and live off her until the next check.

DIM
That's not cool.
ROB
I know. And.

DIMITRI
And what?

ROB
She says she hates it when I take the condoms off and just throw them on the floor. Margo said she wants me to tie the open end so it doesn't leak and then put them in the wastepaper basket, and then cover it with Kleenex so it isn't visible. When we get out of bed she wants me to take the trash out in case you come over?

DIM
Me?

ROB (shrugs)
She said your name. I told her taking the garbage out when it isn't full just because it has a used condom in it is a waste. She said sleeping with me was a waste. Not a general snide remark but a personal attack on one of the few pleasure I can afford in this world.

DIM
That does sound bad.

ROB
She said I no longer try. I told her after two years together it's not always going to be the fuck of the century. Sometimes I'm tired and don't want to ‘make-love' I just want to cum.

DIM
You told her that?

ROB
Yes, my big mistake. She really started screaming. Saying I just fuck her but I don't love her. If I loved her I would respect her. The screaming turned to sobs.

DIM
I hate when they cry.

ROB
Tell me about it. I'm watching her cry and feeling like the biggest piece of low life on the planet. I'm looking at this beautiful girl I love and she has snot running out her nose. I say sorry and try to hug her but she gives me the cold shoulder. I plead but she looks back at me with disdain.

DIM
That is tough.

ROB
And then it happened.

Dim
What happened?

ROB
I have never wanted her more. I wanted to fuck her brains out.

DIM
The fuck of the century.

ROB
Yeah.

DIM
And did you?

ROB
No. She wouldn't let me. I ended up jacking off in the shower.

DIM
That is pathetic.

ROB
I know.

Dim
Listen Robert, I got to be honest with you.

ROB
What?

DIM
The only time I see you alone is when you fight with Margo.

ROB
Yeah.

DIM
Yeah. I mean you know I love you both. You are my favorite people. But when we go out you guys are always fighting and it is no longer fun.

ROB
I know. I'm sorry.

DIM
You gotta see what has happened to you both. You have both changed. And not for the better. You need a new perspective.

ROB
Perspective?
DIM
Yes. I mean I hate to say this but when it is over it is over. You have to break clean.

ROB
You mean break up?

DIM
I know it sounds awful but it will be for the better in the long run. And I will be there for you man. You know how many great looking girls there are in New York fucking City. And there are like five girls to every guy. We will have some wild nights. Get you back in the game.

ROB
You think?

DIM
I know it.

ROB
That seems so sad. So permanent.

DIM
It's your decision. But it's the only life you got to live. A terrorist could blow up the city any day. You need to live life to the fullest.

ROB
I guess so. I guess I have to break up with Margo.

EXT. Day. Park.

DIMITRI takes out his wallet and gives a twenty-dollar bill to ROBERT.

DIM
Hey man. Go get some beer and then we will play backgammon. I'll set up the pieces.

ROB
Thanks man. Dimitri you are a true friend.

Ext. Day. Park.

DIMITRI puts a few of the backgammon pieces on the board and then looks up in ROBERTS' direction. DIMITRI waits until ROBERT is out of earshot and then takes out his cell phone. DIMITRI dials.

DIMITRI
Margo? Yes, I'm with him. He is drinking beer already if you can believe that. I told him not to. I even bought him tea.

(PAUSE)
Say, can you get away again this week? You know I love you.

so last night I was DJing and this girl wrote her name and number onto an Etch A Sketch and handed it to me in the both. Of course we went home and had wild sex. the next moring she asks who is that passed out in your toliet. I said that's my actor. She said he has puke all over him. I said I know he is a method actor. She asked what we were working on so I gave her the scipt. She read it and said , after a guy takes a shit won't the seat be down.

!!!!!!

Back to the drawing board. but first back to the blow jobs.

Maybe there's a fecalphiliac standing outside the window with a remote control toilet controller built in to his Pocket PC.

but the expression is coprophiliac

why do you know that?

i have experienced the privilege of a well-rounded education

hmmm...

I got a call from one of my actors--I'm not gonna do it anymore- I got two young handsome kids who call themselves actors- and he calls me late last night to tell me he won't be ready by Wed. This was not the one who was passed out on my floor this weekend. This is the one who drank OJ while I was spinning. I'm gonna pamper him today and tomorrow kick his ass.

I like the alliteration of fecalphiliac... if not the concept.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... ecalphilia

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=n ... calphiliac

no shit!

Are you directing the film McC? Don't tolerate shit from NY actors..there's a thousand more where he came from. Find another pretty boy and feed him alcohol and women until he fits the part.

turns out the guy isn't an actor. He is a dancer! Oh the drama.

fuckin dancers. I bet he agreed to do the film because he had a crush on you, but then was heartbroken when you hooked up with a chick while you were DJing. He drank OJ so that he'd have a clear head and good memories of the night of passion he anticipated.

Just a theory. Good luck with the film.

Has the script changed? And which character am I playing? Are we using my ipod, cause the police took my headphones from me so I better buy some new ones before I get out there. Shit, I better buy them tomorrow.