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From: John Burrage (
burrage@iinet.net.au)
Subject: Shaun Ryder - Still Got It
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Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Date: 2001-03-27 04:49:56 PST
Like most Austrians, if I find myself awake at around 3 am on a Friday
or Saturday night, I switch on the Tee Vee and tune in to Rage. Rage
is like MTV but with no Vee Jays, ads, cartoons, or anything of that
nature - its standard format is just video clips. A novel concept, to
be sure.
On Saturdays though, they often invite a guest programmer to pick
around three hours of music and plug their own band's stuff. This
means that every few songs, the guest programmer appears and says
something like "Hi, I'm Joe from Sonic Gruel, you're watching Rage,
here's one of my favourite artists Joy Division singing "Love Will
Tear Us Apart". (Just about everyone picks "Love Will Tear Us Apart".)
WELL! Last Saturday I happened to catch Rage, and the guest programmer
was Happy Mondays crack monster Shaun Ryder. Not having seen him in
action for many years, I was keen to see how he was faring. I only
caught one of his blurbs before the ABC transmission dropped out (good
old ABC) but it went something like "Hi I'm Shaun Ryder from the Happy
Mondays blah blah blah blah blah blah here's a guy that has been a big
influence ... around since I was (long pause) THREE SECONDS OLD ...
(pause) Daaaarrrvid BOOOOOWWWWWEEEEEEEE .... In Manchester blah blah
blah blah One. Big. DEPARTMENT STORE. It was called ... SKANK.
(Appears to nod off. Comes too, as if startled). Skank! Skank! Skank!
Blah blah blah blah blah blah (pauses to take drag from unfeasibily
large cigarette) other stores blah blah blah they had cameras in
bananas and things ... blah blah blah they didn't have cameras in
bananas ... blah blah blah blah blah" (continues on in similar fashion
for what seems like hours).
Then I nodded off.
KIDS! DON'T! DO! DRUGS!
I never found out about the cameras in the bananas. (What this have to
do with David Bowie I don't know, but I expect it was something to do
with the skank.)