Mush Roomed love

[Tom]

God how I love going through old journals every once in a while.

Here's an excerot from one I was reading last night. Started this one in 1990. Was in college and madly in love with an actor who was staying in this house in the Hollywood Hills. In the end I came to realize he loved women more than men..so I sat in his room looking at him in bed with this girl (all 3 of us had done tremendous amounts of mushrooms earlier in the night).

This is what 19 year olds write when they are in love, coming down on drugs, and ready to commit suicide.

Ah! the sweet hopefulness of youth


--------------------------------
Here it is-
the hour of it all now over.

Anger slowly sets in
as I sit and stare
at you
and she.

but I know too well
how I misplace
anger
and things

The difficulty now
lies in going back
to thoughts and feelings
prior to this drug induced state.

Normality's call I do not want to answer.

OH!
but it did seem so right
prior
in this night

To keep walking
to sit in cold damp grass
thoughts rising and falling
ON TOP OF THE WORLD MOM!

but like all (good?) things......

And leftover is this-
the need to lessen the pain
and quiet the scream

So loud! this scream is.
I hold my head and try to shake it out.
But quieting the scream requires conviction
and I have none.

How many times?
has the blade been held in your hands
your eyes, beautiful and blue
downcast and ashamed

Things are not in order
to leave just yet
(and just what order should they be?)

Naked in your bed
Apologies for behaviour were given
But was it really necessary?

You both spoke of my heart
but rarely is it touched
held
or understood.

Thoughts rising and falling
but the waves rise and fall
soon will put me under
and the tide shall pull me away.

To know you don't belong
yet be such a master at pretending.

"I wish I had the charm-
to attract the one I love,
but you see-
I've got no charm"

Back in the slump
(how quickly the tide turns!)
and my dorm calls out to me, screaming-
"there is no one here to foil your plan!"

So make a decision
and make it soon.

I have only known glimpses of life
how strange that I should not want more.

And now back to YOU
and my anger.
I sit and suffer too long.
I grow tired of playing your fool.

[Tom]

ok-
it's time to post an early story/poem of your own.

Ya know-something that showcases the novice of youth.

[Tommy Martyn]

When contemplating time machines folk usually mention that they would pop to the future get some info and zip back to the here and now and make some money off it. Tom, would I be correct in thinking that your first order of business would be to zip back to the time above and knock seven cans of shit out of yourself.