FUCKING DRUNK
I remember the weekend well. I was always a hustler and always had an answer for any question , or at least I thought so .
I just got started in my sales career it wasn't Evan three months into it. My last job was selling furniture with the brothers down town. I was a natural talent for telemarketing , and is a seedy business full of scum bags and derelicts. Being a stoner and not into hard drugs I figured climbing the corporate ladder. Was about as easy as getting laid in the seventies, and i was right.
My original boss is now in prison for drunken dereliction. He left my current employee in his prime and went independent. This is were i started my long hilarious and profitable adventure of sin. The stories i could tell would make boiler room look like child's play.
needless to say after month's at the competitor's. I met my current boss. He was a flamboyant white boy called Leon. Funny thing he wasnt black, but definitely taught me about greed and sin and making money. I think i did most of the finer things in life with him. Until it went sour like everything else in my life.
My current boss stopped by on my lunch hour in a rented town car. He yells doobien in this whinny voice get in I'm taking you and Paul to lunch.
As soon as we get in the car he Immediately lights up some skunk bud and headed for the tit-ties bar. In Detroit you could get a lap dance like no other. We'd wear silk pants and no boxers and get drunk and leave with wet spots like it was going out of style. My boss wined and dined us for about two hrs. Finally he offered us 1000 a week guaranteed and no ck held back. Keep in mind this was Thursday and i expected the cheese the following day. After agreeing to the terms he left me with some kind bud and drove off. This was my first experience of being bought our owned, and definitely the last.
I told my old boss that i was going to work for my other friend. He was real cool about it and paid me current, and said you'd be back. He was right but that's later on down the road.
The next day i went to work, and got my first ck for 678$ after taxes. At lunch Paul and i went to look for apartment's. I qualified on the spot as a college graduate with a job guaranteeing fifty two g's a year. I also got 0 down and free first months rent. I new Paul just got a five hundred dollar hiring bonus for stealing me from the competition. I told him it would be five hundred down and rent was due in thirty days. He agreed and handed me five dollars. I allways love getting the last laugh.
This was my first room mate out of college, and also the person who costed me my lively hood due to his attitude,and lazyness. We immediately moved in that weekend. Furniture wasn't a problem. Between what i had left from my apartment in college, and the shit loads of furniture in my parents basement. we were ghetto fabulous. Amazing later on we actually taste real wealth . Fate works in strange ways. And the lessons we learn are sometimes like life itself and the tragic fist it wields.
Between the five hundred I got from my room mate, and three ck's i just got i had almost three grand in hand . It was Saturday night night and we were off to my regular bar. Which leads us to the story of getting fucking drunk.
Nothing new to me at the age of twenty two. It was the first time me and Paul had really had a chance to party. It was endless drinks and pick up lines. Though every night was still a crap shot and we went home shit faced, and alone. I was so fucking drunk just getting to the apartment was hell. I rarely get that drunk.
I immediately cooked up a dozen eggs with hot sauce, and eat them out of the pan in seconds flat. After that i remember getting real sick. After about a half hour of dizziness i cleaned up my mess, and turned on the burner for a cigarette. After the cigarette i stumbled to bed and crashed out.
A few hrs later i hear this really load annoying noise. It woke both of us up. I was in a dead sleep drunk walk when i got up. I immediately stopped the noise and was heading for my room.
Paul stopped me. Dead in my track's yelling and said what the fucks going on.
I looked over and said nothing it's this stupid thing, and i handed it to him. Thank god he wasn't as drunk as me. I never turned off the burner before i went to bed.
I caught the stove on fire by leaving a Pepsi two liter bottle next to the red hot burner. Eventually it melted from the heat and ran into the burner and started a fire. I realized at that point i was handing him the fire alarm i pulled off the wall.
And than i realized i was fucking drunk, and the kitchen was on fire.
doobien.com